To not want to eat Chinese - help me to see if I’m being unreasonable

[Watermoves]

My partners favourite take away is Chinese. I’m not keen, I’m vegetarian (raised this way) and just find its bland and boring. I have eaten Chinese but I don’t really like it.

Therefore we often have Indian, Mexican, pizza etc if we have a takeaway all of which he also really likes. I often offer to get him a Chinese or suggest he gets one if I’m working late etc but he always says no.

it come to a head tonight as he wanted a Chinese take away and I didn’t fancy it but suggested I would get something else. He said it’s not the same eating a takeaway alone. I kinda get that, but I would have got myself an Indian. (We would be eating at the table together just different food)

He basically said I should suck it up and eat the Chinese food every so often for him? My rationale is that I shouldn’t have to eat what I don’t want or like?

who is being unreasonable?

He either has the option to cook his own or have what her preference is. Never the food that is his number 1 choice.

But why can’t he cook his number one choice?

Is he? If he doesn't want to eat the food OP cooks then there's an easy solution

OP, I have three words for you: Resist, resist, resist!

My EX used to try to force me to like the same things as him, and had this theory that if you try something ten times you will start to like it (spoiler: you'll hate it even more). No matter how much I disliked something, he would keep insisting I tried again. His reasoning was similar to your partner's, in that he had a vision of us sitting together enjoying what he had lovingly prepared for us, and was trying to force that to come true, no matter what I thought about it. He picked things he knew I hated to try to 'convert' me. He'd get really angry sometimes when he went to a lot of trouble, even though I asked him not to. The worm finally turned one lunchtime when I was miserably trying to force something down, and I suddenly saw red, threw my plate at the wall then burst into tears. I quietly said, "Stop doing this to me" and walked out the house. I was gone about two hours, during which I got a Meal deal and sat in the park.

He never tried it again, and we never talked about it, so I never understood why he was happy to watch his wife trying to choke down food she hated.

Please don't allow yourself to become like I was. It's miserable eating food that you dislike, and although we all finding ourselves making a bad menu choice from time to time, it's even worse if you've been bullied into it, knowing in advance that you don't like it. There's no reason at all why he can't do what you've suggested and get a Chinese takeaway while you have something else. If he genuinely insists that you have to enjoy it together, then he's a coercive bully. The Tea video doesn't just apply to tea or sex, it applied to this situation too.

as another poster said, it's her preference because she cooks it! He's free to cook something else if he wants, or cook something for both of them, just not adding meat to hers.

She said it tasted like dishwater, so pretty clearly dislikes it.

I have to say that this is the most ridiculous thread I’ve seen so far. Tell him you’re making a shit sandwich and he has to eat so you don’t feel lonely. Is this for real . I kind of doubt it.

No? DP and I both like Indian but he likes mild, saucy prawn or lamb things eaten with chapatis; I like spicy dry tandoori things with rice and Bombay potato. We order together but our orders don’t crossover, there’s no sharing. Still enjoyable because I’m eating something I like in good company; my enjoyment is completely unaffected by whether or not DP has a spoonful of my potato. Like any other meal where one person might add cheese and the other not, or ordering at a restaurant that has multiple cuisines. My enjoyment levels don’t go up because of what someone else has in their mouth.

Well in my family it is? Mainly coz cba ordering from multiple different places. And maybe it is for OPs partner. Almost like people do different things 😉

OP is vegetarian

I don’t understand why he won’t just have a Chinese if he wants one, and you get a pizza or whatever. Why is it so bad if you get different takeaways? I personally wouldn’t even have an issue with getting a takeaway for myself and someone else choosing to eat home cooked food.

I’ve had a box delivered today and I am already salivating in anticipation of dinner. Really, really recommend, their food is a world away from your typical high street Chinese takeaway

…..what

Really? She just said she didn't much like Chinese food, not that she abhorred it or that it made her ill.
And you'd really never eat something you didn't like? I do it all the time. I've done it when a friend practically begged me to come to a vegan restaurant. I've done it when a friend invited me over for dinner, and it was pretty awful. I've done it when I just don't want to waste food.
It's not much different from humoring someone you love by going to a movie he wants to see but you don't. The sexual comparison is just silly.

Going to a movie is unlikely to making you feel physically sick. Eating something you don't like may very well make you sick.

The sexual comparison is only silly if you're not getting any.

The OP very clearly said she dislikes it because she finds it bland and boring.

Your imagining her being ill from eating something she finds bland and boring is just absurdly melodramatic.

absurdly melodramatic.

Oh the pure, undiluted irony. Thank you so much for the laugh x 😂

I've done it when a friend practically begged me to come to a vegan restaurant.
Did you already know you disliked intensely every meal option but still went? If not then there's no comparison.
I've done it when a friend invited me over for dinner, and it was pretty awful.
Did you know in advance you wouldn't like the meal being prepared? If not then there's no comparison.
I've done it when I just don't want to waste food.
You force yourself to eat food you don't like just to avoid waste? You might need therapy in that case, and still no comparison to OPs situation.

All of the above was you choosing to do that, with no repetitive emotional manipulation from another person, unlike the OP who is choosing to say no but is being emotionally manipulated.

If your loved one insisted on you eating sprouts, parsnips and over boiled cabbage with marmite (insert preferred hated food) because he likes them, would you? Or would you say no thanks but you can - just like the OP is saying.

To me, this whole thing is too minor to argue about, but I'll just point out that your use of "intensely disliked" is not as the OP described it, and your twisting it is just another example of this forum's tendency to be melodramatic.