To not want to eat Chinese - help me to see if I’m being unreasonable

[Watermoves]

My partners favourite take away is Chinese. I’m not keen, I’m vegetarian (raised this way) and just find its bland and boring. I have eaten Chinese but I don’t really like it.

Therefore we often have Indian, Mexican, pizza etc if we have a takeaway all of which he also really likes. I often offer to get him a Chinese or suggest he gets one if I’m working late etc but he always says no.

it come to a head tonight as he wanted a Chinese take away and I didn’t fancy it but suggested I would get something else. He said it’s not the same eating a takeaway alone. I kinda get that, but I would have got myself an Indian. (We would be eating at the table together just different food)

He basically said I should suck it up and eat the Chinese food every so often for him? My rationale is that I shouldn’t have to eat what I don’t want or like?

who is being unreasonable?

As someone who hates chinese food YANBU. Life's too short to eat something you don't like, especially expensive treat food that you don't like. Eat what you want.

Yes of course I am but given the choice I would sooner eat something that I knew what is contained, how long it had been in the pan, how old it was……….

I was talking to OP…

You shouldn't have to eat food you don't like at all. But in defence of Chinese food - There are multiple different schools of Chinese cuisine from different bits of China each with some veggie options. Totally possible to live as a veggie in China. And some beautiful vegetarian restaurants especially attached to Buddhist temples etc. You don't get a true reflection of it much in the UK at all. But, that doesn't sound like what you're being offered, so you are not being unreasonable.

My ex was a vegetarian and I have to say after 6 years it became very grating. Most meals we would cook at home were vegetarian and takeaways and restaurants were my main opportunity to eat the food I actually wanted.

Unless you genuinely hate Chinese food, for one takeaway out of 4 or 6 I would let him have what he wants. Realistically we are talking about you having a meal you less than enjoy once every two months, which I don’t think is that big a deal. You don’t have to absolutely love every meal you have.

I am pretty sure because of your diet he is making concessions when you prepare food at home. Me and my now lovely partner enjoy doing things that make the other happy.

Ask him why he needs you to validate his food choices. He sounds very childish and insecure.

I do think that if it's his favourite and it means a lot to him, it can't be so bad to have it once in a while? Then have your favourite another time.

But I didn't know it was a thing for couples to order two totally different takeaways and eat them side by side, so can see I'm in the minority here.

I'm with you OP. Also veggie and Chinese is the only cuisine I don't enjoy. I don't know what it is but their veg meals are usually really boring.

Your partner is being really selfish and inflexible.

I’ve tried those. Yuk!!

But why does she have to eat it¹ as well?

She's not proposing stopping him having what he wants. And if they're not sharing, he can have exactly what he wants rather than needing to take the OP's requirements into consideration when ordering. Why is that not good enough?

¹ And fake being excited about eating it, FFS.

I've been vegetarian my whole life and I bloody love chinese! find a decent take away, yours sounds shite.

My thoughts exactly! It always amazes me that something annoys people so much that they need to post it on here.

I am pretty sure because of your diet he is making concessions when you prepare food at home. Me and my now lovely partner enjoy doing things that make the other happy

Did you read the OP’s posts? The OP has already said they often eat different meals at home and that she is happy for him to order Chineses for himself. He isn’t making “concessions”.

OP isn’t forcing anything on him. He is the one insisting she eat food he likes.

Suggesting she should just eat food she doesn’t like “to make him happy” sounds frankly creepy. What sort of partner enjoys watching their OH eat food that you know they dislike?

I kind of get where he's coming from. Part of the pleasure of Indian or Chinese food, to me anyway, is ordering several side dishes to share. If you're ordering just for yourself then lots of side dishes would be overkill and disproportionately expensive. I way prefer Indian food to Chinese but personally I'd indulge him occasionally unless he's generally an uncompromising dick.

Do grow up, people!

Sounds like it isn't Chinese food - just the food / choice from your local. Our Chinese also does Thai food. A lot of Thai places have things similar to Chinese

I imagine you are limited to how many Chinese you can order from and don't have multiple options like some areas?

Could you compromise and go out for a sit down Chinese somewhere with a bigger better menu so you have more options and he is happy?

That's what she suggested to him that they do, but he thinks they need to be both eating Chinese.

BTW this is what me and DH do on the absolute rare occasion we get a takeaway, no one delivers to us. So if we get one it's on route home from somewhere he'll get the chipper and I'll have 'Chinese' I have the '' because it is ran by Malaysians and I never order anything Chinese!

I'm vegan too, and Chinese is my favourite! OP must have a poor one 😃

He's being really weird. If you're eating at the table together then you are absolutely sharing the takeaway experience. As for 'He said he wants me to be ‘excited’ to have a Chinese', he needs to get over it.

I get the "sometimes its easier" thing but why is it nice to all eat the same thing?

Chinese food is my absolute favourite takeaway. My husband doesn’t mind it but it would not be his first choice. My son doesn’t like it at all. We have a Chinese takeaway maybe twice a year and both of them suck it up for me as they know it’s my favourite. I guess it depends how often you are having to compromise and eat Chinese food. Also, I’ve never heard it called bland and boring - you maybe need to try some alternative dishes.

I do think that people are getting sidetracked on here by the kind of food it is (I mean like getting sidetracked NEVER EVER happens on MN) Isn't the thing is that its weird for a partner to want the OP to eat the same as him and wanting her to be excited by eating something she doesn't want?

TBH, it's just sounds like you had a selfish partner. I have always been a vegetarian but I've been with my meat-loving DH for 18 years and it's never been an issue, it barely comes up. Meals are easily adaptable and I am happy to cook meat for him, just not eat it.

Why would a couple not do this if they like to eat different things?

My DH likes chinese food but I don't. Tried many over the years and not liked any of them. I am veggie and hate tofu and that is what chinese restaurants use but even their dishes with just vegetables are horrible.

If we get a takeaway (rarely) we get indian usually as we both like that but occasionally DH will get a chinese and I just make myself something