To choose convenience over facilities for 3 month old starting nursery?

[safetyfirst1]

FTM here and really struggling with a nursery decision for my little one who’ll be starting at 3 months. Posting here for additional traffic.

I’m self-employed so have flexibility with work schedule.

Planning 3 full days at nursery (though realistically 6 hours/day average but have to pay for the full day as the half day hours don’t suit) plus one day with grandparents weekly. The third nursery day will likely be shorter (4 hours) or sometimes skipped entirely - paying for the flexibility to get life admin sorted when needed.

Nursery 1 - The Convenient Choice

5 minutes from home, directly on route to work
£64/day
Staff seem genuinely caring with babies
Good Ofsted rating
Downsides: Converted house that needs some TLC, the nursery is also only 2 years old, limited curriculum info

Nursery 2 - The Premium Choice

Beautiful, modern facilities
Daily app updates (photos, feeding, sleep times)
Comprehensive curriculum
£85/day (affordable for us but still more expensive)
Downside: 15- 20-minute detour each way = 60 minute total extra travel daily there and back for each day he attends.

Nursery 2 is objectively better, but that’s potentially 4 hours weekly just in extra driving. We’re planning to move him to the school nursery at 2 anyway, so this is temporary.

Part of me thinks the convenience will matter more day-to-day, especially in winter, but I’m worried I’m shortchanging him by not choosing the “better” option. Then again, he’s only 3 months - does curriculum really matter at that age?

Any parents dealt with similar decisions? What would you prioritise - convenience or facilities for such a young baby?

Also, are three half days plus one day with the grandparents too much at this age?

Thanks in advance! 💙

Exactly.

Unless a baby is an only child, they aren't getting 1:1 attention all of the time. I have twins and they have obviously never had 1:1 either.

They absolutely did not. What a load of rubbish.
The luxury of a long maternity leave is a very recent thing. Yet it is spoken of on here as if everyone has taken a year off since time began.
I'm not sure it's such a great thing either tbh. Babies didn't 'refuse' to go in a cot or sleep when you only had a few weeks to get into a routine before going back to work.
I also think this on-trend obsession with 100% focus on baby at all times, never admit you are fed up, never admit you don't enjoy every minute, put baby first at all times etc is a fast-track to PND.

What do your kids say about it? If you have grandchildren did your children use nursery for newborns because they loved it so much?

I'm 42 and eldest of 5 and spent my entire teenage years babysitting and I can assure you in the 80s and 90s babies absolutely did all of these things. My mums babies, my aunts babies, my cousin's babies, a mix of sahm and working mums and all their babies had a range of temperament and behavoour just like babies do now.

I can kind of answer that.my DD returned to work when her child was 4 months old ( didn't need to financially) She didn't enjoy ML and wanted to be at work

Oh I agree.
But being 'nap trapped' by a nine-month-old wasn't an option when you had to go to work.

Firstly that's not because babies were different in some way and who knows how those babies may have benefitted from a contact nap. In their development, their mental health as adults, their closeness to their parents. Also my mum would sometimes be 'nap trapped' by a baby despite several other children because that's what babies do.

The person looking after the babies would often be nap trapped, that often being me. As an older sister or babysitter.

The reason being nap trapped exists is because babies like and need physical closeness. Just because you take it away, shove them in a nursery at 12 weeks and they don't die doesn't mean it's best

But what's best for the mother? We are losing sight if this.
You see it on here every day. New mothers panicking because they left their baby to go to the loo or fretting because they had to put their baby down or - God forbid - had to leave the baby to cry for a minute or two. Even sitting in the dark because the baby is asleep and they don't dare leave them.
We are focusing everything on the baby's wellbeing while sacrificing the mother's. Only time will tell if this is a good move or not.

I agree with this. The current pressure on Mum's to never let a baby cry, to never sleep train, to never let their child experience one second of inconvenience is unsustainable and damaging.

I think it's a seperate issue to whether or not babies are best suited to nurseries (they're not) though.