Next door sex noises with kids in house

[Dayushorribilis]

Wondering what (if anything) to do about next door neighbour family.

They’ve been next door for about a year. Always slightly ‘chaotic’ but nothing too bad eg they are very messy and noisy, they have pets running everywhere including a monkey in a cage, the mum doesn’t seem to have a job and screams at the kids a lot (no dad present).

I WFH and have noticed that often the kids aren’t at school during the day. They do go sometimes but not all the time. Kids seem to be early teens.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been disturbed multiple times in the day by very loud sex noises coming from next door. The mum is clearly enjoying herself with someone who I can also hear. It’s not massively enjoyable to hear this but I wouldn’t care except that there have been times that the kids are there too. I’ve seen them in the garden whilst mum is inside upstairs clearly having sex. I think this is wildly inappropriate to the point of wondering if I should report the whole situation to someone. Would you?

Part of me is hesitant because ‘Having sex whilst kids are in the house’ is fine, but when you add ‘daytime’ ‘plus ‘they should be at school’ plus ‘really quite loud’ I get bothered.

The children are probably mentally scarred

My ex best friend had social services called on suspicion of her being a “prositithe” they rang rang her she caimed it was malicious then her kids got beat up by. A man they watched for a year then left then her middle broke they visited then left I and someone else recently called due to her living with 5 men this year social services deemed as malicious. I don’t know if it’s just my area but social services didn’t investigate once about the men and infact I was told she was alllowed a sex life and to have friends. Honestly at a loss on what to do myself but I doubt one phonecall on loud sex nausea would do anything (although it should)

I want to add when I first started reading I thought crazy I used to live in a flat and on a evening you could often hear sex from other couples (I’m a single mum so felt weird listening) but hearing it’s all day everyday is very differentt.

I would probably report the fact that they have a pet monkey to the RSPCA. There's virtually no way they meet the requirements for keeping one - and definitely it should not be left to roam the house. And they might also have to report to social services if there's an issue with it roaming free and kids, so you'd get a 2 for 1. It will also become de facto illegal to keep one in a domestic setting from next year, so the RSPCA will probably want to know about that.

https://www.cps.gov.uk/crime-info/sexual-offences

According to which law?

Jealous? Christ, how grim is your life that you think that sort of behaviour is something to envy

Something doesn't have to be illegal to be harmful.
Are you defending having noisy sex within earshot of children, because that (and potentially you) are bloody dodgy.

100% contact both SS and RSPCA. A monkey shouldn't be living in s house like that.

You are a saint for going into that particular job. I just thought I'd thank you for being so.....well I first thought of brave, but I don't mean that in a negative way. Perhaps self-sacrificing is a better word. We need a lot more social workers, but it is a very tough job attempting to tidy up other people's chaotic lives.

Children being exposed to adult themed events such as overhearing sex noises is ABSOLUTELY a safeguarding issue!

OP, basic safeguarding training says that it is NOT your job to work out if the thing you're not sure about is a thing that you should report or not - if you even slightly wonder if it should be reported, your ONLY job is to report it. You can call non emergency police to do this, Google "Multi Agency Safeguarding Hub" and your county and that should get you a telephone number. When you speak to somebody, tell them everything that even slightly might be relevant to painting a picture of the children's welfare - again, it's not your job to decide if it is relevant, it's theirs, and they won't be mean to you, they'll just listen and ask you questions. You never know what they already hold about the family - school will likely have already submitted at least one report - and you never know if yours could be that last piece of information they need in order to act for the children's welfare.

I am wondering where the monkey fits in ..........

Ahahahah sorry OP I do have sympathy but like everyone I am dying at the fact of your framing "some general background, a monkey in a cage, but my big concern is the mum is having sex" 😂😂😂

Yes, they do.

But OP's job as the neighbour isn't to decide if a law is being broken or not. Her job is to notice that she wondered if she should report it, which means that she absolutely should report it. So that SS, the people who are qualified, can make the call.

Quiet nighttime sex when the kids are asleep is hardly the same as having sex in the middle of the day so loudly it’s heard by the neighbours. Poor kids, they must be absolutely mortified. No wonder they’re trying to hide from it in the garden.

I think it’s worse that they’re teens actually, they know exactly what they’re listening too. A toddler wouldn’t.

Definitely report......I'd get evidence tho. Next time the really loud shaggers are at it record them then cast over to the kids in the garden.

We had a couple on our street like this, I could hear them in the back of my house and their house was on the opposite side of the road and at least 6 doors up so I can well imagine the performative screeching !!

I mean... I would definitely firstly report rhe monkey in the cage...

Why do people care more about the monkey than the children?

People are not caring more about the monkey than the kids, but at least the kids can amble around the yard, and it seems they do get out of the house to school just not 100%.

The monkey, unlike a child, is not meant to be kept in a house and I doubt the kids are put in cages.

Where I’m from, a registered zoo can’t even keep a monkey unless they are endangered in the wild and they are participating in a worldwide zoological breeding program. Because it’s cruel to even keep them in habitat enclosures in a zoo just for shits and giggles of spectators. They belong in the wild. People care.

Thank you, that’s really made my day!

I’ve worked in social care, particularly with children, for many years and despite it being the most heart wrenching, and sometimes thankless, work I’ve ever done it’s absolutely where my soul lies so I thought I’d better get qualified before I get too old!

I really appreciate your post x

No, they work within the framework of the law, and some of those laws can be superseded/have exception clauses in them if a child is considered to be at risk of harm - including emotional harm or neglect.

Exposing your child to sexual activity is a form of emotional harm (The Children Act and the Children and Young Persons Act should cover this for you). Why are you stating things with such confidence when you clearly don’t know what you are talking about?

Please report this. My sister's stepchildren's mother used to have sex with her partners whilst in the same room as some of her children.

Dsis SC are now adults and they all suffer with a lot of issues.

And the poor monkey, stuck in a cage all day.

Your neighbour sounds like a terrible person.

I think they might indeed be interested that a mum has a sex life if she conducts it in a way that subjects her children to it.

Making your kids listen to you fucking isn’t acceptable and is a big red flag. Sexual disinhibition around kids is a serious concern.

Sounds like the children are being very neglected but your only take here is that op must be jealous of her sex life. 🤦‍♀️

Are OP's neighbour with the caged monkey?

👏👏👏