Next door sex noises with kids in house

[Dayushorribilis]

Wondering what (if anything) to do about next door neighbour family.

They’ve been next door for about a year. Always slightly ‘chaotic’ but nothing too bad eg they are very messy and noisy, they have pets running everywhere including a monkey in a cage, the mum doesn’t seem to have a job and screams at the kids a lot (no dad present).

I WFH and have noticed that often the kids aren’t at school during the day. They do go sometimes but not all the time. Kids seem to be early teens.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been disturbed multiple times in the day by very loud sex noises coming from next door. The mum is clearly enjoying herself with someone who I can also hear. It’s not massively enjoyable to hear this but I wouldn’t care except that there have been times that the kids are there too. I’ve seen them in the garden whilst mum is inside upstairs clearly having sex. I think this is wildly inappropriate to the point of wondering if I should report the whole situation to someone. Would you?

Part of me is hesitant because ‘Having sex whilst kids are in the house’ is fine, but when you add ‘daytime’ ‘plus ‘they should be at school’ plus ‘really quite loud’ I get bothered.

That reminds me of when I was a child. My parents would 'put' me and sis in the garden to play whilst they had a 'little lie down' .

You can't possibly know this and it is far better to report concerns than not. Hopefully you are right and the kids aren't at risk but better to be safe than sorry.

Rules are changing about monkey in a cage, for England at least, the large indoor cage won’t be adequate:
https://www.rspca.org.uk/-/keeping-pet-monkeys-in-homes-set-to-be-curtailed-in-england

also agree frequent loud sex noises with children in ear shot is potentially abusive

Yes, I’d make a report about the children and let social determine whether to investigate or not.

Staggered you seem to think the monkey was a sideline. Surely you can’t just keep monkeys in the UK without a permit - asking as you certainly can’t where I am? I’d think any permit would be contingent on suitable housing and I can’t imagine it’s a small cage that can be moved around. I’d urge you to report this for the sake of that poor monkey/animal abuse.

😂😂😂 Same here

Until 2023 it was entirely legal, and staggeringly common, for primates to be sold as pets

Maybe I just live in a scuzzy area but social services are busy and there's no way those would meet the threshold (having seen/known kids who really do need intervention but SS are nowhere, despite reports). It does jam up social services up having to deal with stuff like this. I would report to SS if I had genuine concerns for a child's wellbeing, but a couple of teens overhearing their mum having sex? Not ideal, really quite grim, but I personally wouldn't take it further than that. She probably doesn't realise the noise is carrying and I'd be thinking whether to mention something to her.

I do appreciate there have been some high profile child abuse cases and now everyone has switched to 'report absolutely everything, just in case'. In these circumstances, I'd be inclined to monitor a while and see if I had any other concerns because they sound a bit chaotic but that's not a crime in itself.

Having sex in front of children - or loudly in the presence of children/where they are being made aware of it - is abusive. 100% report. She sounds negligent at best.

I disagree. It's not the fact that the mum has a sex life ..most parents have a sex life...but theres a huge difference between having a sex life and having loud sex in the daytime with your kids in earshot. I would definitely report and I'm a very much mind your own business type of person.

Possibly at a place called "The Poshy Primates Pet Store" or "Primates 'R Us"?

This ^ It doesn't matter the size of the cage. It's still cruel. Please report.

I have safeguarding training - yes this needs reporting. Not the fact mum is having sex, it's that it's loud and obvious where the kids can hear and are aware.
The kids not being in school, they may have a part time timetable for all you know.

Those poor dc, it's mortifying enough if you accidentally overhear your parents when they think they are being sneaky... but the pure grimness of your mother loudly banging randoms for you and everyone to hear.

I had a threatening letter from the school before when dd had a couple of bouts of repeat tonsillitis and it made me feel awful. Why aren't services doing more about these dc being deprived of an education?

Poor buggers. They really don't stand a chance.

Found the person having loud inappropriate sex infront of children.

Or has a monkey.

Weird response either way.

I bet they didn’t scream the neighbourhood down with performative sex noises though. Your neighbours sound revolting @Dayushorribilis and I agree with others it’s a safeguarding issue in relation to the children. Animal abuse is also often linked to the neglect and abuse of children. Please report to SS OP.

Probably a Pygmy marmoset. It’s not illegal to have these as pets in the UK. Such a shame.

This hardly sounds like a situation to be jealous of. Daytime sex with randoms and your kids in ear shot combined with a monkey in a cage is hardly an envious lifestyle. I'm sure none of us are so sex starved and desperate that we'd be wishing we were her.

YABU for not reporting the monkey to the RSPCA

Are you sure the sex noises aren't actually the monkey?

Are you sure it’s sex noises and not the monkey screeching?! 😂 If you’re sure then definitely report her, to SS.

Oops repeated what you said, sorry!

You must have arms like Mr Tickle to make that reach!

As others have already said report that woman to social services & to the RSPCA.

I would even wonder if she is a 'professional' seeing men in her house and putting on a loud show for money...

I mean what ! Op this family sound an absolute riot you could probably phone social services and the rspca.