Next door sex noises with kids in house

[Dayushorribilis]

Wondering what (if anything) to do about next door neighbour family.

They’ve been next door for about a year. Always slightly ‘chaotic’ but nothing too bad eg they are very messy and noisy, they have pets running everywhere including a monkey in a cage, the mum doesn’t seem to have a job and screams at the kids a lot (no dad present).

I WFH and have noticed that often the kids aren’t at school during the day. They do go sometimes but not all the time. Kids seem to be early teens.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been disturbed multiple times in the day by very loud sex noises coming from next door. The mum is clearly enjoying herself with someone who I can also hear. It’s not massively enjoyable to hear this but I wouldn’t care except that there have been times that the kids are there too. I’ve seen them in the garden whilst mum is inside upstairs clearly having sex. I think this is wildly inappropriate to the point of wondering if I should report the whole situation to someone. Would you?

Part of me is hesitant because ‘Having sex whilst kids are in the house’ is fine, but when you add ‘daytime’ ‘plus ‘they should be at school’ plus ‘really quite loud’ I get bothered.

Wtf

Being able to have sex with any old random bloke is not a flex. Pretty much all women are able to do that if they are so inclined...most don't because you know, standards. The idea that the op or anyone else would be jealous of this woman is laughable

Oh this did make me laugh!

Yes it sounds like they will all just sit and have a cup of tea together and tinkly laugh about it 🤣

Do you think this woman sounds like she will take kindly to OP saying something? Really?

Make a loud recording of applause, cheering, clapping and general encouragement and play it in the room adjacent to theirs, everytime you hear them at it.

Left the kids off school today, we have to get to the petshop for some monkey food and then my FWB is coming over later

If she's loud enough for the neighbors to hear then her kids can surely hear, and exposing children to sexual activity constitutes as abuse. Although I'd be concerned for the monkey, too (more the that it's being kept as a household pet, not that it can hear her 😅)

Nobody is saying you have to be celibate til the kids have moved out but as a parent you have a duty to protect your children. I can't imagine even being able to get in the mood knowing children are around and could overhear.

Your definition of a good sex life (one that everyone is jealous of according to you) is having loud sex while your children listen in. Thankfully, you're in the minority.

Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility

the persistent attitude of : none of your business / keep your nose out perpetuates child abuse

how many times have we heard on here someone describe abusive childhoods and say I wish someone had asked / done something to help / why did no one care ??

OP - report to Social Service and RSPCA

those saying nothing to report here : you are part of the problem, and rather than dig your heels in / think whatevvver ?!! Actually take 5 mins and read up on safeguarding children / signs of child abuse (not TikTok)

Considering she can't even take care of her children it's highly unlikely the monkey is being adequately cared for.
If by some slim chance OP is imagining the sex noises, the monkey is being cared for, the children are frequently genuinely too ill to go to school but well enough to be left in the garden, and the "yelling" is just her calling the DC down for dinner then SS and the RSPCA won't find any issue.
I would hazard a guess that she's not randomly imagining these things and the most logical explanation is the obvious one in which case it needs reporting.

Can you report a welfare concern for the monkey please? That’s my paramount concern.

Let social services know. Sounds like there’s a lot of issues in that house and it’s not fair on the kids

Honestly I would report to SS. Those poor children.

I would also report them to an animal welfare service. The poor monkey in a cage!

I really wanted a pet monkey growing up but it’s not fair on them to be enclosed

Yep I would report the whole lot. I'm generally a 'nose out' person but there's a whole lot in there that children shouldn't be dealing with. People behaving as if it's normal to have loud sex in earshot of your teenage children are fucking at it.

Unfortunately it is still legal to keep primates as pets BUT it will effectively become illegal from 6 April 2026, when people will only get a licence if the care is zoo-level quality.
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/keeping-primates-as-pets-banned#:~:text=The%20measures%20come%20into%20force%20from%206%20April%202026

You can still report it to the RSPCA though - they lobbied to make it illegal, so they're very likely to be interested.

Having sex where children can see or hear you, is sexual abuse.

Firstly, I would report her for having a pet monkey. The poor thing needs to be in a sanctuary.

Secondly, I'd tell her to pipe down with sex noises - totally controllable so she has no excuse.

Thirdly, I'd keep chasing the report about the monkey until it was collected.

The poor monkey, it's so cruel to keep a lone one. Poor thing must be miserable. You should report to RSPCA or equivalent. Also it's not good that the children aren't in school. I'm sure the school has flagged this but I would definitely report to social services just in case. They can't ever prove that it's you.

Why do people care more about the monkey than the children?

Asleep in the next room is a million miles away from wide awake with all the windows open.

It's concerning you don't know that.

I agree i thinks it's inconsiderate at best and fucking rude and ignorant. Why should anyone else have to hear that?

The children aren't caged.

Exactly. Also, what happens when the kids want a snack or need the loo or something and so go back inside?

If you're having sex loud enough for the neighbours to hear, then you're having sex loud enough for your children in the same house/garden to hear.

Oh please OP report this today. These seemingly minor details could be the final piece of the puzzle or a trigger for SS to intervene. Safeguarding is EVERYONE'S responsibility and ANY concerns should be reported. You don't need proof or to even be certain - that's for the trained professionals to determine. What you do need to do is alert someone to a concern. If your gut is saying 'this doesn't seem right' then report it.

The odd noisy sex session whilst I don't think is appropriate isn't a red flag nor is a messy house or shouty parents but this clearly isn't right and the fact you're asking means it's time to report.

Because presumably the children see teachers, other people out and about, family members who can also have an interest in their care.

The monkey might be kept in the cage with no outside involvement whatsoever.

Nothing we've heard about the owner makes you think she should be in charge of a gnat, let alone an intelligent, caged primate - or children.