To wonder why people fuck about so much?

[comeandhaveteawithme]

My local skip is a very busy place. There is often a huge queue of cars and once you are in the queue, you absolutely cannot leave, there is no way of driving out of it or turning around due to the way it's structured. You're going through the skip, and that's that.

Today, I was in the queue of doom and a worker walked along the line of cars and told everyone that they just needed to use the crusher before they could let anyone through and to do that, they needed to wait until the cars already parked up and using the skips, had all left, then they could use the crusher and start letting people in again. It was my lunchbreak so I was in a bit of a rush, but nothing I could do.

But watching the people already using the skip was so irritating. They knew there was a line of approximately 20-30 cars waiting, they knew no one else could enter until every car had gone, but they all sauntered back and forth with their stuff from their boots, they stopped and chatted to one another, one guy had a quick cigarette before getting in his car, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...

I just cannot understand people who are so incredibly slow and insist on doing unnecessary things in busy places where people are clearly waiting to use the thing they are using.

The other day, a waitress bringing our food to out table stopped mid-way and chatted to a customer she knew, while holding our plates of food, letting them get cold - why? talk on the way back if you must!

And the amount of people I see letting their toddlers use their debit cards to pay while smiling indulgently as the kids drops the card or taps it wrong with a queue of people waiting, or who stand at the till transferring money, or ask the bus driver an endless series of questions with a whole busload of people waiting, plus the 50 cars behind the bus....

If you are one of these people who fuck about, why? and are you also irritated by the fucking about or am I just far too angry?

For all this saintly tolerance, you don’t seem to be thinking that the OP might be stressed or going through something right now (she may or may not be). You are not being kind to the OP or trying to see her point of view at all.

You apparently give others the benefit of the doubt all the time, without knowing their circumstances. So why not be more understanding of the OP on this thread right now, instead of just challenging her. Or are your benevolence and tolerance just theoretical?

OP started a thread bashing people and I gave an alternative view. She challenged that, I challenged back. That's what a forum is, right? To have a debate and give your views? To show other perspectives and possibly help people understand their questions better?

Or is it only kind to agree with people entirely or to not share conflicting opinions?

There are many people who are just selfish. I am always thinking about others. Whether that was the guests on my wedding day, my colleagues at work, or strangers I meet day to day in life. Because that’s decent behaviour.

I kind of envy those who don’t care, and who do what they want, when they want just to suit them! How liberating.

I mean, these things do sound annoying but you also sound excessively angry about it all. If people not going as fast as you bothers you as much as it seems to then maybe your life is too over-scheduled.
I definitely think YABU about those dealing with toddlers going through the “I can do it myself stage”. It’s a normal and healthy stage of toddler development and I assure you the parents are far more annoyed about the pace than you are (that’s their life 24/7). As to you always being an upstanding, non-slow member of society you say that as the person you are today with the social circle you have.
I’ve seen it with my own parents as they’ve got older they have just become slower and more oblivious to things. They are retired and can go for days without seeing anyone, so yes, they will stop and have a chat with just about anyone. Yes- it drives me absolutely bonkers, but at the same time I get it and it’s in no way them being selfish or inconsiderate.
You just seem to tarnish everyone who doesn’t think or live life to your pace as inconsiderate, but I think that’s unfair.
Being late for work, getting stuck in traffic, having to wait in long queues behind slow people are all irksome things but they don’t warrant that level of rage. Does anyone actually die because had to queue longer than you expected. You need to learn to chill a bit and accept situations don’t always pan out the way you plan rather making yourself unnecessarily stressed and angry for such non-issues.

I am fine with debate and challenging. It’s you who seems to struggle.

You are berating the OP for sharing her feelings about complete strangers online! That shows little understanding of how an online forum works. The OP is not the one virtue-signalling on the internet.

I am "berating" OP for saying people who do not do things her way should go live where there's no other people.

What that says is that if you don't conform to her idea of life, she believes you don't deserve to exist where she is. And that is not nice.

Exactly. Thank you. And thank you for sticking up for me.

I am no saint, but I am a good person and I always think of others. I honestly think if you want to live in a densely populated area, with all of it's conveniences, then it's your duty to think of others. Otherwise go and live in the country with nothing but your veg patch and your chickens around for miles where you don't have to think of any one. Sounds heavenly and I hope to one day do that when I retire. But right now, I live with other people so I think of other people and I hope for the same courtesy in return.

Oh this thread is all of the things that piss me off. Our local tip is also bad, everyone seems to carry one tiny item at a time sauntering slowly while the queue builds.

And my second really annoying one is queueing for ages at Costco for fuel, and the people who when they get a pump and get out of their car, proceed to look for their wallet, with their cards in to pay. You have been waiting for 10 mins, could you not have got them ready before now?

You berated her for criticising online a stranger who prevented other mums from getting the bus, by changing a nappy at the exit. That was odd.

This was an anonymised anecdote from over a decade ago. I doubt the mum would care anyway. She didn’t seem to care then and doubled down on her behaviour. I know you would have heroically offered to help change the nappy but most of those mums would have been irritated, and that’s fair enough.

That's the post I quoted but I also mentioned her other posts and gave a general view. It seems you've picked up on what OP said but not really taken in what I said.

You are the problem drink on your own time.

I am focussing on this specific incident as you gave a long preachy response when she wrote about nappygate. It’s easy to make sweeping #bekind proclamations. But in the real world, people can be selfish and other can feel frustrated and irritated by those actions. And that’s ok.

It is my own time. My entire life is "my" time. My time in the petrol station is as important as your time.

What makes you think it's "your" time, just because you're there at the same time as me?

If you haven't actually read it, don't assume it's preachy. I didn't respond to every specific post, I quoted one and then gave a response that encompassed thoughts on several. As many do.

That's also ok.

It was a joke if you want a drink have a drink i will just quietly seeth behind you

Sorry, I've been very attacked for suggesting that maybe people are too angry about other people also just going about their day. Presumed you were joining the pile on.

Your time in the petrol station should be to get petrol. That's what the petrol station is there for. It's not somewhere for you to sit and have a drink. It's a business to serve customers. You're in the customer's way,your in the petrol stations way. So no, your time is not as important because now people are giving up their time for your time for something you're not entitled to do in that place.
You need to move your ass off the forecourt if you are no longer buying petrol because other people want to use the petrol station for its intended purpose. Stop being so selfish in thinking that the world should wait for you.

ill admit im a mix, if im rushing eg supermarkets sometimes its list then in items and checkout. other times if im steady then i prefer the little things like the chats etc but i can see both sides

This might be the worst thread I have ever read. And I've read some awful threads!

There is a fuck load of you that just need to take a deep breath - and GOD FORBID when you need the people behind you to show YOU a little grace to find something lost, have a shit in a public bathroom, use a shop in a petrol station, or take a moment because you are having a really bad fucking day... rather than seething at you because you've exceeded your time quota.

My time in that petrol station may also be a midway point on a long journey, and it may also be my only chance to have a quick drink or get something for my small child out before setting off for another few hours.

Stop being so selfish that you think me taking a minute longer than you think is acceptable is me being inconsiderate. Because your minute is not more valuable than mine.

At some point in your life you will take 60 seconds longer than someone else would because you need it. So behave like you'd hope others would towards you when you need that extra moment.

Stop being so selfish in thinking that a petrol station forecourt is a good place for you to stop for a drink while other people wait to actually use the pumps you are blocking. Theres a million other places you could pull over for a drink. The petrol station forecourt isn't one of them. They didn't design those spaces as your own private drinking area. They are for their customers to use.
Imagine thinking that one space where they can do that one thing they need to do should be yours for no reason other than because you want it. You're what my Nan calls "a dog in manger".

This thread has only made me convinced that the demand of efficiency in the public space is something to push back against. So much anger and self-righteousness here, and precise judgement of what type of inefficiency is acceptable (if the person is suffering even more and really can't help it) and what type isn't (everything else, including people having joy). You seem to find lack of stress offensive more or less by itself.

So many people here need to breathe and/or organize their time better or maybe move to New York or some place that is organized more efficiently and fast-paced. And mostly, stop being so angry at others for existing.

I now consider myself truly lucky to somehow not get pissed of that other people are interfering with my busy, precious life, by slowly or inefficiently existing around me.

Going back to my inefficient life pfaffing around with my three small children, several pets, demanding job, family obligations while also being in everyone's way because my daughter spends her own pocket money at the till.

Because your minute is not more valuable than mine.

It is to the petrol station. They are trying to run a business and make money. It's their pumps and they didn't put them there so you could sit there. They want to move their customers through them and you are stopping that from happening.

And I'm not trying to pile on you or "attack" you as you say. I have been accused of only thinking of myself by you, so I am trying to demonstrate why it is in fact the other way around.

Pull in, fill up, spend probably £100 in there, get back in, have one mouthful of water, check DD is happy, carry on. It's efficient, which is what OP values apparently.

On the motorway there isn't plenty of other places to pull over. Are you suggesting I should move on, take up a parking space in a service station when I don't need one, just to have a mouthful of water, when I'm already stopped? Or in a smaller petrol station, I should take one of the maybe 4 spaces for the shop, taking away someone else's chance to park there and use the shop?

Or shall I spend two more seconds where I am to have a quick mouthful of water then vacate the place entirely?

You're right, I'll vacate the pump and take up one of the few parking spaces for the shop instead before continuing my journey. That's much less selfish and much more efficient, right?