To wonder why people fuck about so much?

[comeandhaveteawithme]

My local skip is a very busy place. There is often a huge queue of cars and once you are in the queue, you absolutely cannot leave, there is no way of driving out of it or turning around due to the way it's structured. You're going through the skip, and that's that.

Today, I was in the queue of doom and a worker walked along the line of cars and told everyone that they just needed to use the crusher before they could let anyone through and to do that, they needed to wait until the cars already parked up and using the skips, had all left, then they could use the crusher and start letting people in again. It was my lunchbreak so I was in a bit of a rush, but nothing I could do.

But watching the people already using the skip was so irritating. They knew there was a line of approximately 20-30 cars waiting, they knew no one else could enter until every car had gone, but they all sauntered back and forth with their stuff from their boots, they stopped and chatted to one another, one guy had a quick cigarette before getting in his car, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...

I just cannot understand people who are so incredibly slow and insist on doing unnecessary things in busy places where people are clearly waiting to use the thing they are using.

The other day, a waitress bringing our food to out table stopped mid-way and chatted to a customer she knew, while holding our plates of food, letting them get cold - why? talk on the way back if you must!

And the amount of people I see letting their toddlers use their debit cards to pay while smiling indulgently as the kids drops the card or taps it wrong with a queue of people waiting, or who stand at the till transferring money, or ask the bus driver an endless series of questions with a whole busload of people waiting, plus the 50 cars behind the bus....

If you are one of these people who fuck about, why? and are you also irritated by the fucking about or am I just far too angry?

I'm just jealous your after school clubs go on until 6:30pm! Mine close at 5pm sharp.

My lot are now grown up but I remember a group of (sharp elbowed) parents protesting with the school to change it from 5pm to 6pm and then half past

The amazing lady who ran it said 'no later,I have a life too' (which was more than fair enough)

I was beyond grateful-my lot adored her

It happened when my eldest was a toddler, he is now 12. I don't imagine she remembers it and I didn't name her (I don't know her name), nor do any of you know who I am, where I live, or which toddler group it was or even if I'm telling the truth.

So you can drop the "poor lady being talked about by a bunch of strangers, how horrible for her" line. I'm sure she's fine.

She was irritable when asked to move. I don’t think other people were the ones being unreasonable here.

And telling strangers has no impact on her whatsoever. People vent about all sorts to strangers on here; I don’t see what the issue is. I am guessing you have on occasion too, unless you are more saintly than other people.

Consideration is needed by everyone. Those in a rush and those who take their time. Nobody should get a free pass to be selfish, without good reason. We should all be considerate.

I'll keep my line, thanks. You can drop the "everyone else must do things at my speed and at my convenience" line instead.

We should. I just don't think that all the consideration needs to be for the people who want to move at a faster speed to others.

Nope, my line is quite simply "don't change a nappy in a doorway while people are leaving and then get irate when people want to go through that doorway, then slow down on purpose". Quite reasonable really. I missed my bus home with a toddler who needed to get back for lunch and a nap because she made a ridiculous, thoughtless decision and then purposefully doubled down and held everyone up - on purpose.

I have said multiple times now on this thread that I understand some people are slower than me and they often can't help it. It's the fucking about and the not giving a shit who you hold up that irritates me. Don't live in a town with other people, enjoying all the conveniences that brings, if you can't be considerate to others around you.

Your "line" is this entire thread. Not just about that one mother. You have made it very clear that people who behave differently to you are irritating and have even said they should go live away from all other people.

That's the line I'm talking about.

Yes, they should. Not if they're disabled, not if they're elderly, not for any of the perfectly reasonable reasons someone might be slower that me. Not once have I said that. In fact, I would be the first person to stick up for these people and show them consideration. I was stuck behind an old lady with a zimmer frame in home bargains the other day while in a rush to buy pull-ups so I could drop off my daughter for her sleepover and get to work. She turned and apologised for being so slow. Did I shout at her? did I tell her to go and live on her own in the sticks? did I kick her up the bum? No, I kept a respectable distance, I kept an eye in case she needed help, and I said "don't worry love, take as long as you need". Basic manners we should expect from everyone.

All I have said, in simple terms, is that if you can't show consideration to other people and only want to think of yourself, then don't live with other people.

And I stand by that.

I have a friend who has worked on Tesco checkout for over 30 years. Yes, they are told to be pleasant because they are customer facing. No more than that. Not to make lots of conversation

I have worked in retail too, a totally different area. We learnt to judge whether a customer wanted to chat. Or not.
Yes it's inane when not welcomed
And yes it drives me potty
I doubt I can get through a shop with a manned till without someone wanting to discuss my shopping with me.

So because you can't accept that people might think differently to you, or be having a bad day and therefore their awareness of others has gone a bit, or quite simply that their brain works differently to yours, they should live where there's no other people?

Not you, who can't accept people whose minds work differently just living their life? Others, because it annoys you and isn't to your liking?

There's a lot of "you" in this, for someone who wants others to show consideration to other people.

Oh stop it, you're just being silly now.

I am talking about people who show blatant disregard for others. Standing by your car having a cigarette while there is a line of 20-30 cars waiting is inconsiderate. Letting your child faff around with a card and holding everyone up because you think it's cute is inconsiderate. Stopping and chatting to a friend while you hold plates of food you are supposed to be delivering and letting them go cold because you want a chat is inconsiderate. Changing a nappy in front of a door several people want to get through is inconsiderate.

Those people are selfish. They are the ones thinking about themselves and what they want, only. I am thinking of not just myself but all of the other people behind me and in front of me also waiting and of society as a whole moving as efficiently as the people in at our able to move so that we can all benefit from what that society offers. That's why I do not hold people up unnecessarily.

And if those people can not think of others and instead want to inconvenience others then they don't deserve to live with others. They don't deserve to live somewhere with lots of facilities used and run by other people if they can not work with other people and instead want to work against them for their own selfish gain.

So no, it's not about "me". I'm not the one being selfish and I'm done explaining this to you. I'm not sure if you're just being bloody minded or you don't get it, either way, I can't explain it again.

What if the OP was having a bad day when she posted this? Does she get a pass?

It's not always selfish to let your child pay. It's also not because it's "cute". It keeps them engaged in what you're doing, not bored being at the shops and stops tantrums or whining or anything else that other people will also complain about.

Spotting a friend unexpectedly and stopping for a minute is human not selfish. It's unthinking, it's not selfish.

Changing a baby where you thought was out of the way is not selfish. It turning out to be in the way is then likely to make you flustered. Not selfish, just a wrong decision at a moment you were probably already a bit flustered.

You can only see what you think, and not that there could be so many other reasons that people behave like they have. But yes, I'm the one that's bloody minded. Not you.

I can guarantee you that you yourself will have done something that if it was someone else, you'd have found it inconvenient or inconsiderate. Stopped in the street because the baby in the pram said or did something. Realised you've stepped in dog poo and had to slow down or hop to get out of the way. Held up a queue because you zoned out for a second. Everyone does. And yet here you are telling people they should live elsewhere if they behave like this.

My local recycling centre now bans pedestrians. I don't drive, so what am I to do?

I have holidayed alone for this reason.

I leave the accommodation in 5m flat at the exact time I want to.

Somehow if it's me and my toddler, that goes up to 15m flat.

With my husband and toddler... Should be quicker, right? Noooooo, he doesn't put his keys/phone somewhere sensible. Oh maaaaaaaybe we need this pointless item, where's my hat, maybe one more look trip...

Maddening.

I can't believe anyone would say it's OK to change a baby in a doorway where other mums and babies are trying to get through!
I always through interacting with my fellow human being try not to get in the way or hold up others. It's common courtesy.

It's not always selfish to let your child pay. It's also not because it's "cute". It keeps them engaged in what you're doing, not bored being at the shops and stops tantrums or whining or anything else that other people will also complain about.
It is selfish when there's a queue of people. It's stressful to the cashier to have a long queue to get through and it's inconsiderate to all the people waiting. That person is thinking only about their own needs and they are not teaching their child to be considerate to others either.

Spotting a friend unexpectedly and stopping for a minute is human not selfish. It's unthinking, it's not selfish.
You can take the plates to your customers and then say hello to the friend on the way back. It's selfish because you are only thinking of what you want, not what the three people you are serving want or the fact that you are standing there letting the food they paid for get cold.

Changing a baby where you thought was out of the way is not selfish. It turning out to be in the way is then likely to make you flustered. Not selfish, just a wrong decision at a moment you were probably already a bit flustered.
As I said when I originally told this sorry, if I had made that mistake I would have apologised, tried to move, gone as quickly as I can. If she'd done that I would have been more than sympathetic. She got arsey and then slowed down on purpose. She thought we had an audacity to make her move when she was the one causing the blockage. Arrogant and selfish and strongly indicative that she is a person who doesn't GAF how much she inconveniences other people.

You can only see what you think, and not that there could be so many other reasons that people behave like they have. But yes, I'm the one that's bloody minded. Not you.
No, because the majority of the thread agree with me. People can see that some people are simply selfish and inconsiderate.

I can guarantee you that you yourself will have done something that if it was someone else, you'd have found it inconvenient or inconsiderate. Stopped in the street because the baby in the pram said or did something. Realised you've stepped in dog poo and had to slow down or hop to get out of the way. Held up a queue because you zoned out for a second. Everyone does. And yet here you are telling people they should live elsewhere if they behave like this.
If I ever do, I apologise and make amends where I can. I think "oh shit, I've messed up" and I move out of the way. For example I once pushed in a long queue during covid in homebase, when everyone had to queue far part and back from the till. I misunderstood where the queue started and didn't stand where I was supposed to. I apologised to the entire queue and did the walk of shame to the back. Shit happens. But I've never just stood there having a cigarette or a chat knowing full well people are waiting. I've never snapped at someone and made things worse for them because I made a mistake. Not once. Because I'm not a selfish person.

Apparently, you are the one being selfish. You should be considerate of the fact that some people thinking holding others up is fine! They just think differently!

So you've never gotten flustered or upset? Good for you, you're amazing.

That's the answers you want, right?

And the apology is where you've realised you've made a mistake. What about the times you haven't? You've just been that inconsiderate arse to everyone around you that you like to complain about.

I think it’s you saying that nothing anyone else does, ever bothers you. If someone inconveniences you, you will #bekind, just think they are having a tough day and offer to help them, whether that’s helping change a nappy or waiting your turn whilst they have a teaching moment with their child, even if you are in a rush etc. Have I got that right?

I'm saying that's what I try to do, yes. I understand that not everyone inconveniencing me is just being a selfish git and probably hasn't even realised that's what they're doing.

I also can't see the point in being so frustrated by other people's actions that I am so stressed I think everyone who hasn't behaved how I would want them to should leave society. That's just causing me stress, no one else, so what's the point?

I assume they do I’ve never had to fly long haul though. If we did I would allow extra time for any delays.

Ooh I’ve a family member who faffs at every opportunity. It’s painful, and often embarrassing. Getting in the car is a 20 minute operation. Buying a cup of tea turns into “what teas do you have? Hmm. Do you have this type of milk? What’s in this flapjack? I used to like that cake you did, will you be getting it again? Oh actually, can I have x hot drink as well? Oh and a bottle of water. Hmm, I think that’s it. Oh no wait, I’ve just spotted this cookie, what’s in that? What’s that flyer you have up? Can we talk about that for 5 mins? What time do you close? You used to close at 4pm. Are you open on Tuesdays? Because I’m thinking of coming here with my sister then. What about Wednesdays?” Meanwhile the queue has tripled in size and the server looks like they want to throw something at us!!

For the zillionth time, it's not just causing me stress!!

It's not just me and no one else, it's all the other people in the queue and everyone else on this thread and in the world that have also been stressed out by selfish behaviour.

This is not a unique thing that only I am annoyed about otherwise this thread would not be 15 pages long!!