Sorry - another bridezilla ish one

[bagpuss90]

My niece is marrying in October. Her day - her rules . But aibu to be a bit shocked at the dress code ? We are all to wear black and only black. No hats. No fascinators. No flowers in our hair. No coloured shoes or handbags. And wait for it - no nail polish. She wants a monochrome wedding.

I think that psychologically, it will dampen people’s moods! It will just feel dark, miserable and funereal. Bound to create far from a celebratory feeling for everyone.

I’d honestly not go if I were invited to a wedding with a specified colour scheme. It’s indicative of entirely the wrong priorities and a strong indication that the wedding may well be crap. Because the priority is the look of photos and not the hosting of guests.

The only black dress I have is my funeral dress. I'd decline the invitation tbh

I don't wear black to funerals ... dark blue, purple ... but I genuinely don't have any black in my wardrobe. It's not something that everyone has. (I would buy something for this occasion if I were OP but it's an assumption that everyone has black in their wardrobe / wears black to funerals etc). Like other PP I look like death warmed up in black and just avoid it.

YANBU to be shocked.

Over-prescriptive dress codes are rather uptight and tiresome. And guests wearing all black could risk Adam’s Family style photos.

However, black should be easy enough to comply with without looking too sombre, especially in October. A well-cut black dress in lace, sequinned, or even velvet (with black tights) would look formal enough, yet also fun and frivolous.

And I assume you’re not required to wear back lipstick! So, you could introduce a pop of colour that way, e.g. a magenta or burned-orange shade. If you can’t wear a fascinator, how about some beautiful hair clips, as part of an up-do if you have longer hair.

If a man’s tie’s required, a black and white pattern would look less funereal.

Is it batshit? Yes. Is it overstepping to insist on how people have their nails? Yes.

But is it only one day out of your life for someone you love and fairly easy to accomplish (charity shops have racks and racks of black clothing)? Yes.

But I am with you, I think it’s fairly ridiculous.

Plenty of marriages don’t have children or grandchildren.

You can do what you like, but most likely it will look like a funeral and create a mournful kind of vibe. Unless everyone is carrying a light sabre, in which case it will look like a whacky kind of game rather than a wedding.
Are you sure there is a children's charity which would have a use for a lot of leftover light sabres? Or would this just create more landfill?

Loving the idea this will be turned into a wacky game. As guests arrive they are given light sabres (or brooms, or vampire teeth or) ...

Although these days people tend to ask for colours at a funeral. I had to buy a new outfit for the last one I went to due to the very specific requirements

It’s not an easy request if you don’t wear black.

I have no black clothes, no black shoes, no black shoes, no black anything!

I just wouldn’t go.

Is this actually true?

It’s absolutely obnoxious to specify any colour palette, especially a black one. I’m someone that would love to wear black to a wedding as it’s pretty much all I wear, but I know almost everyone I know would not want to. I wore a black dress to a wedding last September, but I wore bright green Esska sandals and got 100 (ok 6) compliments.

Fascinators are always terrible, so that could be a good rule and no-one bar an aged aunt wears a hat to a wedding nowadays.

And no nail varnish? She’s a fucking loon and can fuck off. I’d make a point of wearing it in a bright colour.

Sigh. If it’s for instagram she could photoshop her guests into any colour she wanted. If she wants monochrome ask the photographer to shoot it in black and white.

It's definitely a wedding you've been invited to?!

@DarkForces this is very true. My aunt asked for everyone to wear something red for hers. Modern times eh

Black is not obligatory for a funeral

Did the bride actually specify that the men must wear black shirts? Suits maybe, but shirts? Surely not.
Strange, but it’s her wedding, her choice. Please do not spoil things by wearing colours. That would be both unkind and selfish. If it were my wedding and you turned up in colours, I would make sure the ushers put you right at the back of the church. I would also make sure that you were not part of the wedding photos! I can’t believe some people.

No nail polish is insane but I don’t see anything wrong with an all black wedding. I have one coming up but the couple are gothic so on par for them.

The way I see it you either adhere to it or don’t go.

This sort of dress could work. Or in a longer line or with a flared skirt.

https://ebay.us/m/w7hDBO

Rather a pointless comment!

Black is not obligatory for a funeral

I'd either not comply or not attend. No way would I wear all black and no way would I go to a wedding without a fascinator.

Wear gloves.
It's honestly batshit.

You could dress as Burglar Bill or a mime artist.

She wants sent to her bed without any dinner is what she wants ! Absolutely ridiculous monochrome my arse. I mean you can just do it obviously but its just daft.

She has gone too far. People won't do it.