To be really worried about being single at 35

[Groolish]

Just that really, what if I have lost my looks?

I was so pretty in my 20’s and early thirties and I feel so rubbish that my ex had all my best years and now I might end up single forever. Am I just having a bad day?

You're just having a bad day.

You think?

Hang in there! One DC split from long term partner at 36 and now at 38 has a lovely partner and a new baby. They are so happy it’s a joy to see.
Other DC met partner at 35 and is married with a one year old 😍

I suppose I just feel unattractive because I am old

I used to feel like this! I'm 30, twin sister always in long term relationships. I started doing things by myself. Cinema, theatre, day trips, zoos...enjoy your own company and the freedom to do what you want, when you want!

Try being 39 and in this situation 🤣

1)You're obviously not old
2) Why would you want a partner who only cares about looks?
3) What's wrong with being single?

What is wrong woth being happy in yourself and not needing a man to make you feel good about yourself?

My best year OP was 37 !!

At 35 I was a hugely fat 15 stone and single

At 37 I’d slimmed down to a skinny mini 8 stone and had a new lease of life 🙌

I was still being ID’d for alcohol at 39

Your issue seems to be that your self worth and 'value' as a partner is tied entirely to your youth /looks. No one is immune from changing as they age. Confidence and a good outlook on life and taking care of yourself matter far more. Youth and looks aren't something you 'give' to someone in exchange for love/ relationship.

🤯

How? Diet, surgery, something else? Loose skin? Tell me more. I’m 55 and could do with losing that amount.

OP, you are definitely having a bad day. It’s hot, you’ve probably not been sleeping very well, am I right? You’re 35, all the best years are still ahead of you. Look after yourself physically, body, clothes etc, but also mentally, do things you like, find things to get excited by, don’t feel or act like you’re in a slump because you’re not. Better things are coming!

I’m 40 and feel neither old nor unattractive.

Pure calorie counting and exercise ! To diet successfully I needed to adhere to

1250 cals a day max and do at least 25 mins fairly vigorous cardio a day - ie not walking has to be gym /jog at least or even a 1hr exercise class

No loose skin!

You're not "old" at 35! Why is this mentality so common on Mumsnet?

I'm 41 and in the best shape of my life, full of energy, still have my looks, and feel in my prime!

You need to change your mindset and, I assume, indulge in some pampering and self care.

There's nothing wrong with being single, OP. Yes, you will suffer discrimination for being single, and it will cost more to live, but the independence and freedom is priceless.

I was single at 35 married and ttc first child at 38

Potentially controversial- where you live can affect how old you feel at 35? Like, 35 feels totally different in the rural sticks compared to LDN for example? The dating scene is super lively in big cities in your mid 30s and can be loads of fun! It’s all a mindset x

I’m 48 and feel more attractive now than I did in my twenties. Maturity has given me more confidence.

Stop focussing so much on your looks and think about doing some things that you’ll enjoy. Life is not all about your appearance.

Im 38 ive been single for years and love it.
No plans to change it either.
I still have fun ons only.

How did you achieve that?

I thought you were going to be worried about being single at 35 because of fertility.
But because of "losing your looks"??
Do you really want a partner who's that shallow?

I understand as I was single at 35 too but I think this reply has nailed it.

Old does not equate to ugly but it's easy to see it that way when you take into account society's borderline pedophilic beauty standards.

I’m getting divorced at 47, definitely feeling a bit old but have the advantage of not giving a flying fuck and happily single.