Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really worried about being single at 35

110 replies

Groolish · 20/06/2025 11:24

Just that really, what if I have lost my looks?

I was so pretty in my 20’s and early thirties and I feel so rubbish that my ex had all my best years and now I might end up single forever. Am I just having a bad day?

OP posts:
KPPlumbing · 21/06/2025 08:19

ThymeSageRosemary · 20/06/2025 12:53

I remember being 35 and thinking that I would lose my looks by 40. I was looking forward to less male attention. Now I'm 40 and I seem to have become more attractive not less. As PPs have said, exercise, better self-care, diet, clothes and hairstyle can all mean that it's easy to look and feel better now than in your 20s anyway.

I feel the 'hottest' I have at 40 too. I'm sure I was prettier at 20, because I had that youthful plump skin. But I feel I exude a confidence and sexiness now that I didn't then, and it's clear I've really taken care of my body, skin and hair.

BiscuitBotherer · 21/06/2025 08:39

Rage bait. Adorable.

Onelifeonly · 21/06/2025 08:42

You're not old. Looks don't fade overnight. Most woman have never been very pretty, but most have also had / have partners. A relationship is about more than looks. And most of all, self-pity is very unattractive - love yourself and someone will love you.

MascaraGirl · 21/06/2025 08:47

BatchCookBabe · 20/06/2025 12:59

Why do people keep banging on about how sooooooooo amazing it is to be single, and how the OP doesn't neeeeeeeed a man to be fulifilled, and she doesn't need to be in a relationship?! She is posting because she is not happy single, and is worried she is losing her looks and may not be attractive to men anymore.

Whilst I doubt that is true, many women feel like the OP as they get older, and people saying 'why so focussed on looks?' and 'you don't need a man!' is not helping the OP at all.

It is quite normal to want a partner. Not everyone wants one, but a lot of people do

Onelifeonly · 21/06/2025 08:47

Itsbetterbythebeach · 21/06/2025 00:04

I was single at 35 & very comfortable with my life. Out of the blue got an email from an American who had been my US counterpart in the company I left 3 years before. He was going to be visiting London that weekend , would I like to meet up? Started dating London/Boston. Flew every other week out on a Friday night back on a Monday. 3 months later we were engaged. 3 months after that we were married. Everyone said I was crazy. Way too rushed. I said what have I got to lose. If it doesn’t work out I know I can be happy & have a good life by myself. If I don’t try I’ll always wonder what I might have missed. 21 years later still happily married to the kindest man I’ve ever met. After we got married he confessed that there had been no reason for him to come to London. He’d never forgotten me from when we worked together & had decided to see if I was still single (I still get a little glow when I think of him doing this). It wasn’t my looks that had made him remember me (I’m perfectly pleasant looking but not drop dead gorgeous) & we’d only met in person once at a training course in Glasgow.It was my personality, confidence & contentment that attracted him.
Don’t let life pass you by waiting for everything to be perfect & ideal. You need to believe in your own worth & that you can live a wonderful life all by yourself.Then you can have the confidence to say “what the hell. Let’s give it a try”

How lovely, glad it all worked out.

Screamingabdabz · 21/06/2025 08:51

For me beauty is found within.

I hope you are not passing ugly values like shallowness and ageism on to your children.

Original poster
Groolish · 21/06/2025 10:59

Can Botox and fillers help?

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 21/06/2025 11:01

If it’s any consolation I didn’t lose my looks until I was 47 and on chemotherapy.

MascaraGirl · 21/06/2025 11:25

A touch of facial self tan plus a few highlights in your hair can make a huge difference

cupfinalchaos · 21/06/2025 11:41

Op I had two young children and met dh at 38. If you don’t meet anyone it won’t be because of your age. So many single people your age.

OneLoudTiger · 21/06/2025 14:20

Eyebrow wax/tint and eyelash lift/tint also does me a world of good when I’ve got the uglies.

Gyozas · 21/06/2025 15:04

Groolish · 20/06/2025 11:35

I suppose I just feel unattractive because I am old

Show quote history

Nah, you’re not. Get it together, woman. 💪🏻

Praying4Peace · 21/06/2025 15:45

Embrace being single
Why are you desperate to meet someone?

Bythewayimgoingouttonight · 21/06/2025 15:59

I’m 44 and about to be in this situation. I’m excited though!

hardtocare · 21/06/2025 16:04

It’s just a bad day. You’re 35, not 85. I haven’t RTFT so sorry if you’ve said but take some time to be single- a year or two at least. Use the time to recover, realise what you need to do differently in relationships and what are your non negotiable for your next relationship. Then don’t compromise on your higher standards for yourself. You have lots of life left to be happy ❤️

Thewalrusandthecarpenter · 21/06/2025 16:28

I’m nearly 56 and have a date tonight. If I said I felt old, my nearly 95 year old (independent, fit, active) mother would put me in my place. I feel more attractive and confident than I did 20 years ago.

Original poster
Groolish · 21/06/2025 17:38

Bythewayimgoingouttonight · 21/06/2025 15:59

I’m 44 and about to be in this situation. I’m excited though!

Are you?

OP posts:
Bythewayimgoingouttonight · 21/06/2025 17:42

Groolish · 21/06/2025 17:38

Are you?

Show quote history

Yes. I have been in the loneliest marriage for far too long. I’m looking forward to being free.

fashionqueen0123 · 21/06/2025 17:44

Groolish · 20/06/2025 17:52

Do Botox and fillers actually work?

They work in that they make young women look much older.

MascaraGirl · 21/06/2025 18:34

Thewalrusandthecarpenter · 21/06/2025 16:28

I’m nearly 56 and have a date tonight. If I said I felt old, my nearly 95 year old (independent, fit, active) mother would put me in my place. I feel more attractive and confident than I did 20 years ago.

Hoping it goes well!

BiscuitBotherer · 21/06/2025 19:33

I can’t take the OP’s comments in good faith, I’m afraid. “I’m too old, I think I should have Botox and fillers”. Women telling you they’re excited to be single, that they haven’t lost their looks, have been met with disbelief by you.

Original poster
Groolish · 21/06/2025 19:55

I suppose you just read that women become invisible after a certain age, apparently so that happens at 25 so I’m 10 years past that already

OP posts:
WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 21/06/2025 19:58

Groolish · 21/06/2025 19:55

I suppose you just read that women become invisible after a certain age, apparently so that happens at 25 so I’m 10 years past that already

Yeah, you’ve got no chance then. Best prepare for a life of spinsterhood.

Kiwi83 · 21/06/2025 20:00

You've got a good 10 years before you really start to lose your looks 💐

JaneEyre40 · 21/06/2025 20:01

Groolish · 20/06/2025 11:35

I suppose I just feel unattractive because I am old

Show quote history

Lol...you're not old! Get a haircut and blow dry and put on some tan. You'll feel great. If you are into it get some Botox, works wonders.

Swipe left for the next trending thread