To be really worried about being single at 35

[Groolish]

Just that really, what if I have lost my looks?

I was so pretty in my 20’s and early thirties and I feel so rubbish that my ex had all my best years and now I might end up single forever. Am I just having a bad day?

Yanbu and I sympathise as I feel exactly the same at 34. People in relationships don't understand, I've learnt that now! You'll get loads of comments on here saying oh my best friends aunties dogs sister met her dream man at 40 and they are the happiest people I know. If you're anything like me it won't make you feel a jot better.

Everyone loses their looks. Also, you had your ex’s best years too, it’s a two way street.

I think you’re just having a bad day.

I am 33 and very single - I think I’ve been single for too long at this point! I enjoy it but sometimes I do have the odd day of wanting to find someone. The problem is I just hate dating at the moment 😂

It's the end of the week, the humidity is higher than usual (and heat). I'd call it a bad day, nothing more.

Well no as apparently get more desirable and attractive as they get older

Single and 39 over here. Genuinely best shape and mind set so far. I’ve put this down to hard exercise classes mixed with some easier ones on low energy days, throwing myself into activities I’ve always wanted to try and going, even when I feel nervous. For example I went along to Padel for the first time last month and loved it. I do find it sad when people rely on a partner to make themselves feel good. 35 isn’t at all old! Also people have a good sense of neediness / desperation so try and nip it in the bud

Same I'm 34 and have been single ages. Im almost too used to it. Also hate dating 😂

This.
Embrace simgledom

So Robert Redford, Harrison Ford and Robert Wagner are more attractive now than they were 60 years ago? I don’t think so.

Totally agree and I’m 45. I’d like to meet someone but unless they can add something to my life and not make it worse, I really can’t be bothered. Especially with how dating is nowadays.

I don’t think is so much that I want to find somebody as I don’t think I am quite ready yet, I’m just worried that when I am ready I won’t find it because nobody will find me attractive.

There's much more than physical looks to being attractive to men.

Maybe I’m just a bit down in the dumps.

Do you want children?
if you want children then YANBU to want to find a partner. Don’t worry that you’re too old, that’s definitely not true and you don’t need to be a supermodel!

But if you want kids you should get out to do lots of different activities so you can meet potential new partners and might find the one.

I don’t think it’s talked about while you’re young (or maybe I am in a bubble) but then eventually if you want kids you clearly need to be in a position to make that happen while you’re still fertile.

I was happy with my looks a few months ago so surely now much has changed? Just just be the way I am feeling

They already have children.

My friends sister was single at 35 then she met a man and quickly got married and had a baby. Then twins. Be careful what you wish for I guess she now has 3 under 3!

'My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun / Coral is far more red than her lips' red...
And yet by Heaven I think my love as rare / As any she belied with false compare'

I think Shakespeare nails it here. Mere perfection of form might as well be made of alabaster. Real beauty is living, moving flesh and blood; a rumbustious love of life. We have all known people of all ages who have that. I'm sure you have it.

The OP already has children and said she doesn’t want any more.

Women lose their youth/youthful looks obvs! But many look just as pretty and attractive in their 40s, 50s, 60s etc as they did in their youth/20s/30s.

Also women don't lose their looks any more than men. It's a myth that men age better than women. No they don't LOL. Men get older and look older, and get dry skin and wrinkles, and beer bellies, and flabby arms and legs, and they go bald, etc...

I know more women who have stayed attractive as they have aged - than men who have!

Old ugly people do have relationship successes too.

Why regret a relationship and a big part of your life based on your perceived diminishing looks?

I was single at 35 & very comfortable with my life. Out of the blue got an email from an American who had been my US counterpart in the company I left 3 years before. He was going to be visiting London that weekend , would I like to meet up? Started dating London/Boston. Flew every other week out on a Friday night back on a Monday. 3 months later we were engaged. 3 months after that we were married. Everyone said I was crazy. Way too rushed. I said what have I got to lose. If it doesn’t work out I know I can be happy & have a good life by myself. If I don’t try I’ll always wonder what I might have missed. 21 years later still happily married to the kindest man I’ve ever met. After we got married he confessed that there had been no reason for him to come to London. He’d never forgotten me from when we worked together & had decided to see if I was still single (I still get a little glow when I think of him doing this). It wasn’t my looks that had made him remember me (I’m perfectly pleasant looking but not drop dead gorgeous) & we’d only met in person once at a training course in Glasgow.It was my personality, confidence & contentment that attracted him.
Don’t let life pass you by waiting for everything to be perfect & ideal. You need to believe in your own worth & that you can live a wonderful life all by yourself.Then you can have the confidence to say “what the hell. Let’s give it a try”

I'm fifty, a bit chunky but still pretty sexy as I like sex 😁

All these old people! I'm 73 and still waiting to feel old!

I would almost sell a bodily part to be 39 again.