To be really worried about being single at 35

[Groolish]

Just that really, what if I have lost my looks?

I was so pretty in my 20’s and early thirties and I feel so rubbish that my ex had all my best years and now I might end up single forever. Am I just having a bad day?

as a friend used to always say to me - better single than with the wrong person

many, many people you see in couples are with someone who they don't really love or who makes them unhappy.

You are free to meet the right person at any moment

I have 2 children and don’t want anymore.

I feel like I woke up at 35 and felt old, I loved how I looked 6 months ago so surely not a lot could have changed?

I remember being 35 and thinking that I would lose my looks by 40. I was looking forward to less male attention. Now I'm 40 and I seem to have become more attractive not less. As PPs have said, exercise, better self-care, diet, clothes and hairstyle can all mean that it's easy to look and feel better now than in your 20s anyway.

You are not old!! I am 48 and I am old!!! (I am sure my 75 year old mum would tell me I am not and she is!)

There are plenty of fish in the sea whatever your age. If you want a relationship then you can find one. If you want a GOOD relationship they are harder but still possible. I am getting married (2nd time lucky I hope) next year to an old man (49) who thinks I am beautiful despite my grey hair, plumpness and wrinkles!

Calorie control - no more than 1250 a day abd structured exercise eg gym/swiimming/running - walking alone not really vigorous enough

Why do people keep banging on about how sooooooooo amazing it is to be single, and how the OP doesn't neeeeeeeed a man to be fulifilled, and she doesn't need to be in a relationship?! She is posting because she is not happy single, and is worried she is losing her looks and may not be attractive to men anymore.

Whilst I doubt that is true, many women feel like the OP as they get older, and people saying 'why so focussed on looks?' and 'you don't need a man!' is not helping the OP at all.

Beauty is inevitably a diminishing currency, it's not that mid thirties are unattractive by any means, but its just not worth holding onto as a core part of your identity.

I don't even think it's the main thing prized by men...Most men partner up with someone with 'girl next door' looks.

You're just having a bad day.

I wasted my entire twenties and early thirties on a controlling, physically and emotionally abusive man.

I thought I was ugly (largely because he told me that over and over) - looking back at photos I really wasn't!

Met current H at 35. Now at 40 look probably better than I did ten years ago (that may be the Mounjaro but also I'm just so much more confident!)

If you had no kids, I'd worry due to fertility but since you don't want anymore, then I wouldn't worry. I understand that most men want younger women but you don't want to be with those type of men. You need a decent man because you have kids and need to ensure he's a good step father.

Take your time, gain self confidence and don't rush.

I’m 45 and single. You’ll be ok 😂

I'm 42 and single and feel like this. I can't imagine anyone will be interested in me now.

@Groolish that's good that fertility isn't a worry.

Re. Losing your looks, do you think that people over 35 can't find a partner?
You're coming across a little vain. I'm sure you have loads to offer a potential partner besides looks

You need to work on your self esteem. I could tell you that 35 is not old but that's really not the point. One day you will be old and if you don't want to be miserable for decades until you die I suggest working on yourself and trying to detach your self worth from how old you are and how you look. Good luck. I'm not saying it's easy.

So you don’t agree that women lose their looks?

Try being 47 🤣 I’m actually looking forward to being single but then I’m so over Ex ‘D’ H and have no interest in any men right now whatsoever!

Sigh. Because ‘desperate, panicking, poor self-esteem, and grasping at straws’ is not a good way either (a) to live or (b) to find and maintain a healthy, happy relationship.

I look better at 52 than I did fifteen years ago in the throes of baby rearing and work stress.

I became single – my choice – at 36 1/2. Five years later I was with a lovely man and had two children. Still together nearly 20 years later.

Ohh get a grip you’re NOT old!!!
if you were pretty before then you still are OP!

Me and my female friends are all beautiful! We are 49-50.

Everyone gets less conventionally attractive, my point is, what are you going to do about it? Be sad however? Or detach your happiness from how you look. Discover your self worth in a way which doesn’t revolve around how you look.

Whether they do or they don’t (which is subjective and depends on how much people value youth as a measure of attractiveness) there’s nothing you can actually do about ageing, bar looking after yourself as much as possible. So what’s the point in dwelling on it? People get older (men and women). As you age, the men you are attracted to are ageing too.

Do Botox and fillers actually work?

I’d give anything to be single at 35 again. (I’m 54…and single 😂)