Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

[EllyRoff]

So last night I got to thinking about pensions and realised I don’t have one! I’m no longer working (I make a small amount of money through art which DH has always been supportive with). I did have an NHS pension when I was working but DH convinced me to come out of it due to the high payments. There was barely anything in it anyway so I received the contributions back. Since then I’ve made very little contribution in national insurance etc.

DH has always said I’ll be fine in retirement as we have his good pension - but last night I thought “what if he died? Does the pension automatically come to me?” Turns out that no - it doesn’t. It goes to a named beneficiary.

So this morning I asked DH if I was named on his pension - he said “don’t worry, you’d get a state pension” !!! I said “what, £60 a week? I have none pension! Am I named on yours?” He said “why don’t you start a little savings account?”

So I’m not named on yours then?? He said “of course you are, I mean - I’ll check but I’m sure you are”. I’m very unnerved by his response - firstly his lack of concern!! Secondly his reluctance to confirm that I’m named on it. He says he’ll check today.

AIBU here? You’d think he’d want me to be ok in his death surely? Especially since it was him that convinced me to give up my own pension. He is 10 years older than me so not massively unreasonable to consider he might die before me.

1. Insist that you are named as beneficiary on his person pension or pensions (many people have more than one).

2. When he comes to take an income from the pension if the decision is drawdown pot then you are safe, but if it is annuity then it needs to cover spouse. In my experience most quotes don't cover spouse and you have to amend the options. You need something like 2/3 or 3/4 of same income + inflation allowance to carry on for spouse.

Otherwise he's not being fair.

You need at least 10 years of NI contributions to get any state pension.
Check how many years contributions you have.

You can either start paying NI or you can sign on as a job seeker Universal credit or whatever, you won’t get any benefits if you have savings above £6,000 but you will get your NI credited (you do have to actively job seek).
You have until 67 or 68 or so to build up some more NI years. You probably won’t get to 35 years but you will get more than you’ve accrued so far.

@EllyRoff has not been back, and I imagine she’ll be a little overwhelmed by all these responses…… well meaning and informative as they are.

😱

I hope you're happier in divorce!

I’m the same OP and it is a current worry. My DH is self employed and I have been asking him to help me set up a pension since before Christmas. I presumed that I would get his full pension from a previous job if he died but it’s half. Mine is small and I’ve given up work so not currently adding to it. I’ve recently taken matters into my own hands and started a very small savings. I figured it’s better than nothing.

Oh forgot to add - I checked my NI contributions online, which was easy to do and I would get full state pension

I'm also on autistic, very highly masking. Exhausting. You have my empathy.
It's lovely you can afford to not work and create art - sounds idyllic! I teach art and would love to give up teaching and do something solitary. Funnily enough when ever I talk about giving it up I come back to the good pension.

For me, the trait of needing to feel in control means I'm pretty shrewd with money- my neuotypical husband on the other hand just leaves me to it and never even checks the bank account. So I appreciate we are all different and even with autism traits will manifest in different ways.

It's a shame you decided to come out of the NHS pension but nothing can be done about that now. With the teachers pension (my pension) if you are married or in a civil partnership your spouse or civil partner automatically gets your pension and death in service grant- you only need to nominate if you want to select someone else or you are not married (or in a civil partnership). I did nominated my husband years ago when we were unmarried. It could be that your husbands is the same- but definitely best to check!

Also- look at other financial safety nets like life insurance. You mention you are downsizing, and that there would be some surplus money there, which makes me think perhaps you guys are mortgage free so any life insurance wouldn't be needed to pay off the mortgage. But many life insurance policies expire after a a set time, check if his/yours does.

Oh also - you can buy more national insurance contribution years, can't think exactly what it's called.

Now you've had a wake-up call. The two of you need to look into this right away, and I'd want to see how it's set up, personally. He may not be the most financially savvy, or he may be a little too optimistic and go-with-the-flow to be trusted to handle it all himself.

Like many others, I’m wondering how old you are, OP? I have a feeling that you may be fairly young - opting out of pensions is very common among my peers (I’m in my late 20s.)

What happened in relation to opting out of your NHS pension is very unfortunate. However, what matters now is that you can make immediate changes.

The first thing I’d do in your position is claim JSA if you want to/are able to work, or claim ESA if you’re too unwell to work at all. The beauty of these benefits is that you’ll get NI stamps for the duration of your benefits claim.

Then I’d check your state pension forecast. If you have children, then you’ll get NI stamps from child benefit. I think it’ll last until the child is 12? If there are gaps in your state pension forecast, it’s worth asking your DH to pay for those on your behalf. You don’t ask, you don’t get.

Then sit down and write up a budget and see how much you can afford to save into your pension. I consider pension contributions to be as important as mortgage/rent payments and bills. To calculate how much you want to save into your pension, I’d consider that before any luxuries.

You can open a SIPP (self invested personal pension) or even a Lifetime ISA for your retirement. The choice is yours. Save into your pension each month and it’ll build through compound interest.

You can make (very) small amounts of money through survey apps, cashback apps and receipt scanning. You could use these to top-up your pension too. It won’t make you rich, but they do make a difference.

Have a serious conversation with your DH regarding you being the beneficiary of his pension. It may help if you agree for him to be the beneficiary of your pension too. Don’t take his word for it though - ask to see the paperwork.

Yes, damage has been done, but I have faith that you can turn things around if you want to. Good luck, OP.

The husband has deprived her of nothing.
It was the OP's decision to do this.

Generally if it's a defined contribution pension the inheritor gets the whole pot. But if it's a defined benefit pension (public or private sector) there isn't an individual 'pot' to pass on, but the inheritor gets a proportion of the monthly payments - rarely more than half.

What a horrible post. @EllyRoff doesn't deserve such a snipey reply.

Are you sure @frozendaisy ? The 4 x salary is usually for 'death in service' (my H's job offered that.) It won't be when your H retires.

Likewise it's unlikely you will get 100% of his pension once he retires and if you're widowed.

@Darkling1 Good advice. NI credits continue until youngest child is 16, not 12, but for some yrs now many of us haven't been entitled to child benefit, thanks to unfair decision taken by Tory government.

@blueshoes

However, autism (which is often coupled with ADHD) does present difficulties beyond being 'rubbish with financial planning'.

I do understand this. It's not trivial at all. And its compounded by the fact that historically women haven't been encouraged to see financial planning as being in their purview so they haven't learned what it means.

I struggle a bit with executive function (don't know if I have ADHD, have never been diagnosed) so I can understand how it seems an unclimbable mountain even without the burden of a full disability.

But there are people on this thread shrugging and saying "it is what it is", which is really dangerous. Frankly there are so many women in general, leaving neurodivergence aside, who struggle with managing their finances and with the historical assumption that it wasn't "their domain". I was never given any education in managing money because I think it never crossed my parents' minds that I wouldn't marry a bloke who would handle it. I did marry a bloke who didn't handle it (who I later divorced) and I've had to manage all my finances on my own so I had to learn fast. I'm lucky that I've been able to work and have savings and a pension.

Neurodivergence is an added barrier which makes this even harder but fundamentally the problem is that women still aren't given a proper financial education. If it was enshrined in all girls growing up that they had to be aware of the need for a pension, for example, all girls, including those with disabilities, would know that they needed to look for help.

This wouldn't remove the problem for girls and women who are neurodivergent, but it would just make the baseline easier. No one should come of age without understanding that relying on their husband for financial security is not an adequate way to run your life.

Forget death what about the other Ds (Divorce and Dementia) what are the plans in these scenarios?

Easy check for your husband to do but generally even if he has no named beneficiary you, as his wife, are entitled to usually half his pension upon death. This needs to be checked though. With regard to state pension this can be checked on govt gateway - search this up. If you have children then your contribution will be paid until the youngest is 12 as long as you claim child benefit in your name. After that there is a threshold you need to meet to get contributions even if you do not earn enough to be taxed. You can also make contributions yourself to protect your state pension.

https://www.gov.uk/check-national-insurance-record

You can see your National Insurance record here and a forecast for your state pension. You need 35 years of full NI contributions to get the full state pension:

I believe you can still get the NI credit even if you are outwith the upper limit to get paid child benefit but have to apply for it? Worth looking into anyway.

Wow ok. You don’t say how old you are. Get a financial advisor who is a pension expert and set up a meeting. Your DH needs to be present.

Get things in order! X

Not really. Ex doesn't work, refuses to move out, talk about it, insists the house is his as he was working while I raised our 4dc despite it being in joint names. Thinks I should move in with my parents! I work a zero hours mw job in a warehouse which would be very difficult to get to from my parents as I don't drive (amd). I think my pensions equal about £3k max but at least I have enough contributions for a full state pension when I retire.

It's been a bit more than that since April. It's now £921 every 4 weeks, which is just under £12k per annum.

Thats a very generous scheme, and it is both unusual and unlikely to be open to new employees, in general, pensions are not as good as they used to be. I used to sell them!

yep, Ni credits regardless of income. I get them despite DH earnings being way over threshold (there's also a box to tick on the form to get them to not even pay the CB rather than faff about with repayments)