Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

[EllyRoff]

So last night I got to thinking about pensions and realised I don’t have one! I’m no longer working (I make a small amount of money through art which DH has always been supportive with). I did have an NHS pension when I was working but DH convinced me to come out of it due to the high payments. There was barely anything in it anyway so I received the contributions back. Since then I’ve made very little contribution in national insurance etc.

DH has always said I’ll be fine in retirement as we have his good pension - but last night I thought “what if he died? Does the pension automatically come to me?” Turns out that no - it doesn’t. It goes to a named beneficiary.

So this morning I asked DH if I was named on his pension - he said “don’t worry, you’d get a state pension” !!! I said “what, £60 a week? I have none pension! Am I named on yours?” He said “why don’t you start a little savings account?”

So I’m not named on yours then?? He said “of course you are, I mean - I’ll check but I’m sure you are”. I’m very unnerved by his response - firstly his lack of concern!! Secondly his reluctance to confirm that I’m named on it. He says he’ll check today.

AIBU here? You’d think he’d want me to be ok in his death surely? Especially since it was him that convinced me to give up my own pension. He is 10 years older than me so not massively unreasonable to consider he might die before me.

You won’t get a full state pension if you haven’t paid your NI contributions in full. Check on gov.uk

How old are you?

https://www.gov.uk/check-state-pension

You might want to check this, it might be worth seeing if you can buy back a few years

Freedom up to do what with?

Don't leave the financial planning to your husband. He does not sound financially savvy.

How old are you both?

You sound too dependant on your DH. You are leaving yourself very vulnerable.

That doesn't make using a man for financial stability useful or helpful it doesn't change pensions or facts around being sensible around money

If he goes first and you don't have his pension and not paid enough NI contributions you will get pension credits. Also income support to make up your full pension. I believe it to be £825 every 4 weeks. Shocking really

How old are you? This is an important question if you want the best advice OP.

How old are you? Could you go back to work for a while? You may have to work in retirement otherwise I guess

Do you have children? If you get child benefit, even if you have to repay it through tax, you get NI contributions.

Understood, but that's not a reason to make yourself totally dependent on another person for your financial wellbeing. That's likely to make your anxiety worse if something goes wrong. Particularly if he's rubbish with money.

There must be work you can do which you can manage.

Defined Benefit and Defined Contribution Pensions are treated differently so that is more critical to understand as they may well get the full pension. Defined Benefit pensions may have survivor/widows pensions that are not the original full amount.

Once he has checked his pension you both need to sit down and have a financial MOT.

I don't work but we talk money and plans on a regular basis.

It's boring, it's also hard when you are talking about one of you dying, but it needs to be done so that the other left behind doesn't have to deal with grief and a whole legal entanglement.

Even if it's just something small like, say he died soon, do you have access to accounts to pay bills for 3-6 months whilst probate goes through?

You need to look at all this. Both of you, turn off emotions and sit down with a calculator.

Oh yes and look at your NI contributions, and his. It might be prudent to pay your £70 ish a month if you haven't got children under 12, to make sure you have the full years of contributions for state pension. Depends on how many years you put in for before you stopped working.

It's boring OP but it needs to be done. Just be businesslike, calm, sensible and work out the numbers so both of you are aware of how much you are getting and when in retirement.

I wouldn never ever ever EVER rely on financial advice from a man that advises taking money out of an NHS pension.

Respectfully, you need to take responsibility for your retirement. Even if he names you, lord knows whether he has the provisions he thinks he has given his previous advice to you to stop paying pension contributions.

As his wife you should receive a widows pension; the named beneficiary could be for his lump sum death benefit - if he has named someone else then he needs to change it. I’d expect him to change the beneficiary now. I do hope your home is owned jointly.
I would look to having an independent income and pension of your own; you’re right to be concerned about poverty in retirement. Even an excellent pension only pays half a salary and he may be less inclined to share this with you; you could divorce.

How did you get your pension contributions back - I thought you couldn't do that?

He also talked you out of contributing towards a pension?

Is there someone else who could be named as beneficiary? Ex wife, children from previous marriage.

How old are you OP?

Definitely a wake-up call here. Advising you to come out of the NHS pension scheme was bad advice, and he seems very unconcerned about what will happen to you in the future, so you need to get a handle on your finances yourself and not assume he has it in hand. He doesn’t sound very fiscally aware, what with the bad advice re: your pension and not knowing how his own pension works.

If you've sacrificed career to bring up children then I would be asking for him to contribute to a pension in your name as a reflection of that. If you aren’t working for other reasons, then if he’s unwilling to do anything else, you will need to do some work around what your financial situation would be like if you got divorced, he died, went into care, etc. You are potentially quite vulnerable.

Even with your art business you should have been paying voluntary contributions if your earnings are below the threshold to pay NICs (e.g. if it's not a very profitable business). HMRC even prompt you to do this when you put through your tax returns every year. When I was too ill to do a "proper" job due to MH, I paid about £250 a year in voluntary contributions because I had a small business, and that covered my national insurance for the year. It's not much for peace of mind in your retirement. You can still do this from now on if you haven't. Also echo others, go and have a look at your state pension forecast. There might be missing years that won't be too expensive to "catch up" on by paying for them.

Take some responsibility for your life OP. Sort your finances out.

I would get the full amount
Plus his work shares
Plus x4 times his salary if he's still at work.

So it depends on the pension

This! I voted YABU because your post implies that this is everyone’s fault but your own. If your DH told you to invest in crypto or throw your money in the bin would you? Take some responsibility for your own financial health.

You can claim contributions back if you've paid in for less than two years

It doesn’t sound like you can rely on him leaving you his pension which as your husband, is pretty appalling (understatement).

You’d be better off divorcing him
and claiming as much as you can through that process while he’s still alive than waiting for him to pass, if you can’t trust that you won’t get nothing at that point.

Him talking you out of a good NHS pension is a dick move. He clearly knows about money so knows it would have been a good move for you yet he encouraged you to leave it so that you (and by default he) had more day to day money in the immediate term.

It sounds like he has looked after himself only the whole time while you haven’t don’t that for yourself at all. Which is of course on you but I dont think you should feel bad if looking after yourself now involves bad news for him. He didn’t care when that was the case for you, did he?

That's extraordinarily generous. My late DH had a teacher's pension, which was considered excellent. I get half of what he'd have had when he was alive

You've not thought about/ ignored your pension for years then suddenly you're complaining that your husband hasn't sorted it all out in two minutes

Seems harsh

You must insist that your DH and you sit down together with a professional IFA and get some good advice.
It is well worth paying for.
As many PPs have said your age is a key factor.

Wow, I did not know this, I wish I had known a few years ago when I changed jobs lol