Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

[EllyRoff]

So last night I got to thinking about pensions and realised I don’t have one! I’m no longer working (I make a small amount of money through art which DH has always been supportive with). I did have an NHS pension when I was working but DH convinced me to come out of it due to the high payments. There was barely anything in it anyway so I received the contributions back. Since then I’ve made very little contribution in national insurance etc.

DH has always said I’ll be fine in retirement as we have his good pension - but last night I thought “what if he died? Does the pension automatically come to me?” Turns out that no - it doesn’t. It goes to a named beneficiary.

So this morning I asked DH if I was named on his pension - he said “don’t worry, you’d get a state pension” !!! I said “what, £60 a week? I have none pension! Am I named on yours?” He said “why don’t you start a little savings account?”

So I’m not named on yours then?? He said “of course you are, I mean - I’ll check but I’m sure you are”. I’m very unnerved by his response - firstly his lack of concern!! Secondly his reluctance to confirm that I’m named on it. He says he’ll check today.

AIBU here? You’d think he’d want me to be ok in his death surely? Especially since it was him that convinced me to give up my own pension. He is 10 years older than me so not massively unreasonable to consider he might die before me.

First things first you don’t have a pension in place is no biggy, alot of people who have lived on benefits all their life still get a liveable pension.
your problem is you have no contributions so best to get this area sorted it may be too late to pay the gap now as they’ve not long closed the ability to do this. Phone the pension service and see where you stand. You need at least 30 years to get your full pension.
when your partner dies whoever he has nominated on his pension doesn’t come into it. It doesn’t automatically go to the named person. As the pensions say it’s not your money to give it’s theirs to decide who gets it. You will be in this equation automatically as you would be the one informing people he’s dead.
when you sell the house I suggest anything left is split and put into separate bank accounts so that you have something put by.
i take it your partner has been happy to be the provider for you all these years, why is he not prepared to carry this through death?
are you both not insured so that this would come to you on death either ?
I think a decent conversation and knowing what’s in place needs to be done, no more sticking your head in the sand because once he’s gone you’re on your own.

OP isn't coming back.

Hope she's at least got advice and will act on it.

First things first you don’t have a pension in place is no biggy, alot of people who have lived on benefits all their life still get a liveable pension.

That always strikes me as terribly unfair unless of course the benefits were because of severe disability.

Depending on the OP's age now, the state pension may not exist in it's current form in 20-30 years. It's not viable.

Private pensions are the way to go.

If you dont get a full state pension you will get pension credit but not sure how that works with your DH pension. Look into it at gov.uk.

Book an appointment with Pension Wise through gov.uk. its free and impartial. They won't advise but will help you navigate through things.

Does he have children or an ex? He needs to sort out his beneficiaries, often children over x age can't be beneficiaries because of the pension rules. Your family money build his pension so you should be the beneficiary. What an awful response!

When the house is sold make sure the £ goes into secure funds. ISA inc sticks and shares ISAs to the hilt, then maybe bonds and investments. Make sure these are jointly held. You dont say how old you are but if you have 10years or more before retirement age, put a lump into a pension for you. It could grow a fair amount for you.

Your story is a good example of just how unfair equal retirement age is. Your DH, btw sounds like an arse!

Good for you, others have tough day to day lives and struggle making it through the week, people like you boggle my mind

Thanks to this thread I took the plunge to check my contributions. I have dreaded looking at it for years wondering what big gaps I would have etc.
I can't believe I'm 53 and have paid up. I really did not expect it and it was beginning to haunt me.
I don't know what retirement will look like with all the goal post changes and my fuck up life but that is one box ticked.

And even if OP does not return at least advice on here has been a hand hold for me to take this plunge. As a pp said some people just cannot deal with this life admin so thanks everyone.

Well done, your life is not a fuck up, some of us just find things that others don’t difficult!

how did you check up on it?

@Harry12345 Yes, exactly.

@Harry12345 I have the hmrc app and you can check pension contributions on it. I have also paid enough for a full pension despite living abroad for 10 years and I am 59. Unfortunately I can't retire until I'm 67!

Really helpful....

I think if you’re long term sick you are given national insurance credits, the same as if you give up work to care for a child. So you should still qualify for full state pension

Only if she claimed sickness benefits - which it doesn’t sound like she did.

This is why, even though his savings / income from other sources were too much to receive a penny, we made sure an ill family member claimed - 10 years of incapacity benefit (as it was then) at £0 a week (not a typo) meant 10 years of NI contributions recorded so still worth doing.

Thankyou. It was on one of the links on the previous page then i logged on using my gateway account which I used for my tax returns and I can get myself together to do that usually on deadline day. But I've just always thought I would have gaps from dubious employers in the 80s/90s and I couldn't face looking all these years.
I hope others who feel worried can be inspired by this thread.🙂

I can also recommend the Rebel Finance School free course which covers everything to do with pensions.

Totally free, they aren't trying to sell you anything ever.

And this is exactly why I raised my girls to never rely on a bloke no matter how much they tell you they will look after you. After an incident a few years ago i saw the true colours of my DH, so I now earn more than him and would be fine on my pension alone. You have time to turn it around, so get some advise and make it happen for yourself.