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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling humiliated after resigning

143 replies

Happyfeet82 · 19/06/2025 21:54

I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.

I recently handed in my notice after just three weeks in a new job. The environment was toxic and it was affecting my mental health — I knew pretty quickly that it wasn’t the right fit. I’m now working a one-week notice period.
Today, there was a team meeting I couldn’t attend due to a scheduling conflict. I later caught up via the recording, and some of the comments made about me by the Managing Director were really disheartening.

She said I “lack motivation” because I live at home and told my colleauges that I said “I don’t need to work.” I want to be clear: I never said I don’t need to work. What I did say was that I’m in a fortunate position right now, living at home, which allows me to make the right decision for myself. I’m actively looking for a new full-time role and already have interviews lined up.

The part that really stuck with me was when she said, “If I were her parent, I’d be disappointed.” I found that comment deeply inappropriate and unnecessarily personal.

I’ve drafted an email addressing this, stating that I heard what was said and, in light of it, I don’t believe it’s in either of our best interests for me to work the remainder of my notice. But I’m torn between sending it or just finishing the week quietly and walking away with dignity.

Thoughts? I feel so angry.

OP posts:
Happyfeet82 · 19/06/2025 22:33

I sent the email. I'm not planning on logging on tomorrow. I'm just worried she wont pay me, that would be the final blow in what’s already been a pretty awful experience with this company

Its a tiny company (5 people) two of which have come to me and said how awful it is and how they don't blame me for leaving 😳

OP posts:
JustMyView13 · 19/06/2025 22:35

I would draft a short email which says something like:
Dear MD,
I am writing further to the teams call on x date at x time: recording attached.
I found your comments regarding my departure unprofessional and inaccurately portrayed the position I currently find myself in. With this in mind, you leave me with no choice but to terminate my employment with immediate effect. Please make arrangements for my IT equipment to be collected from my home address urgently.
Kind regards,

**
And then set your OOO confirming your departure. Close your laptop & focus on finding something new. Life is too short.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 19/06/2025 22:38

Why is this person even discussing you in such a manner? Completely unprofessional and I would imagine everyone else in the meeting thinks so too.

MadeForThis · 19/06/2025 22:39

I wouldn’t go back. Just leave the job off your cv.

Newnamehiwhodis · 19/06/2025 22:41

It’s hurtful and wildly unprofessional. They just showed you that you made a really good choice!
I hope you know they said those things out of their feeling of rejection- it doesn’t speak to any truth about you or your worth.
hope you find something better soon!

BruFord · 19/06/2025 22:44

If it’s company of five people, I imagine that the MD is the top boss so there’s no one to report her to. You’ve sent the email, just walk away from the company and forget about it. No one will ever know that you’ve worked there for three weeks, they’ll assume that you were job hunting during that time.

If you’re job hunting in the same geographic area, I wouldn’t ever mention it at interviews or in future workplaces as you never know who knows each other through family, friendships, etc.!

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 19/06/2025 22:50

He’s just fed up that you resigned. My dd had a job offer “withdrawn” when she thanked them for the offer, but said she didn’t think she was a good fit for them, so wouldn’t take the job. How we laughed. What a control freak. She refused the job because it became plain at interview that he was a total dick.

WillimNot · 19/06/2025 22:54

I think you should ensure you have a copy of the video and notes and I would see a solicitor or phone ACAS. 3 weeks or 3 decades, leaving due to it being toxic enough to effect your MH and then comments that are bullying and and constitute a personal attack I would want to take it further.

What a disgusting person!

Dominoeffecter · 19/06/2025 22:56

What a bully, if I was your mum I’d be outraged that she/he would suggest that my child was a disappointment to me

CagneyNYPD1 · 19/06/2025 22:57

Well, the MD has shown that you are absolutely right to be leaving. Well done @Happyfeet82for taking quick action and not staying in a job that’s so awful.

MauriceTheMussel · 19/06/2025 22:59

Well, if you weren’t sure you were making the right decision before, you can be certain now!

Look, 2/5 know she’s a cow. The others will think it too, just not be saying it to you. Give this place no more headspace. Don’t contact ACAS, don’t tell HR (if they even have one?), either just work your notice and leave with a smile on your last day or, in my opinion, not even show up tomorrow onwards.

Lifeisapeach · 19/06/2025 23:02

Yes 100%! Send the email. Make a point. Copy in their boss or HR. And then leave immediately. Good luck!

Motheroffive999 · 19/06/2025 23:02

Send the email and don't go back

Themtheywho · 19/06/2025 23:11

They probably envy you and wish they could resign!
If you were my daughter, I'd be proud of you and relieved that you put your wellbeing over a job. No job is worth affecting your mh.
I left a job after 3 weeks as it wasn't how it first seemed. They were quite frosty once I'd handed my notice in. The best thing I ever did.
Well done to you!

SL2924 · 19/06/2025 23:19

Incredibly unprofessional. Says much more about them than it does about you.

kiwiane · 19/06/2025 23:22

It’s so short a period you can just drop this from your CV and move on quickly; don’t let it affect your confidence. You did well to leave so quickly.

Pomegranatecarnage · 19/06/2025 23:23

zzplec · 19/06/2025 22:15

If it were me, I'd choose the passive aggressive route.

Is there a link to a meeting chat or email? Send a message:

"Hi all,

I just want to clarify some comments made about me in the team meeting. It isn't the case that I "don't need to work", it's that I'm fortunate to be financially secure enough to choose not to tolerate working in a toxic environment.

I hope that clears up the matter. Wishing you all well for the future."

Then go into the office looking demob happy and beaming with delight that you're leaving.

Brilliant response! I’d add in, “far from being disappointed in me, as was also suggested in the meeting, my parents are proud that I know my worth”.

usedtobeaylis · 19/06/2025 23:23

Do you get an exit interview? Might be an option instead of the email but I wouldn't want to continue to work there either. Ask for the weeks pay in lieu of notice given the circumstances.

assertiveplant · 19/06/2025 23:24

WillimNot · 19/06/2025 22:54

I think you should ensure you have a copy of the video and notes and I would see a solicitor or phone ACAS. 3 weeks or 3 decades, leaving due to it being toxic enough to effect your MH and then comments that are bullying and and constitute a personal attack I would want to take it further.

What a disgusting person!

On what legal basis would you take it further? For what objective? The fact it's only been 3 weeks is highly relevant.

Just walk away and move on.

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 19/06/2025 23:26

Happyfeet82 · 19/06/2025 22:00

For context, my notice period is until 30th June

On the 30th June at 4:55pm email the video and an exit email to the CEO, HR & that person's line manager. Then shut down your computer and walk out, whatever happens as a result of the email is none of your concern.

latetothefisting · 19/06/2025 23:27

assertiveplant · 19/06/2025 23:24

On what legal basis would you take it further? For what objective? The fact it's only been 3 weeks is highly relevant.

Just walk away and move on.

I wouldn't take it further but it's handy to have in her back pocket in case they don't pay OP the remainder of their notice - the bad press if she released it or threatened to go to acas or put it on glassdoor or whatever should be enough for them to think it's worth paying her for a few days.

Make sure you've got a saved copy of the recording OP just in case she deletes it - play it and record it on your phone if needed.

Everyone saying to email it to HR, CEO etc - OP has specified that there are only 5 people including the MD in the entire company so the MD probably IS the CEO and HR, thus why she thinks she can do what she wants.

SundayNightBluesAreHere · 19/06/2025 23:28

Why are they even discussing you in a meeting you were not present for?

Fundayout2025 · 19/06/2025 23:31

Happyfeet82 · 19/06/2025 22:05

I was only with the company for 3 weeks so a very short notice period, 1 week.

Its only the 19th now so maths arent adding up. When did you hand in your weeks notice?

AssassinsEyebrow · 19/06/2025 23:38

Fundayout2025 · 19/06/2025 23:31

Its only the 19th now so maths arent adding up. When did you hand in your weeks notice?

For goodness sake, does it really matter?

spicemaiden · 19/06/2025 23:39

Well I can see why you’re leaving. What an awful environment