AIBU to think this is out of line

[ElatedBee]

Neighbour asked to keep my children’s “screaming down” at 5:20pm when they were playing in a paddling pool in our garden on a very hot day. Reason given that they were working with open windows due to heat and it was loud. To me it sounds like a them problem, not a me problem, and the entitlement that they feel to request something of me in this instance is out of line.

For specific context, my son (3) was having a play date with another boy of same age that started at about 4pm in our garden, in the paddling pool. My daughter (6) joined around 4:45pm after school. She initially became very upset when she saw the two boys playing because she felt that she missed out on fun pool time and it wasn’t fair, but she calmed down in a few minutes. All three children were playing happily with me and the other mum supervising. Then my children had a fight about pouring water on the slide to make it slippery, when the daughter growled at the son and he growled back at her, at which point I had to intervene and de-escalate. Then they played merrily again until 5:30pm when the play date ended and my daughter went inside. This is to say that it was all very usual children’s behaviour. The only thing I could do to reduce the noise level is not have them out in the pool, but indoors.

AIBU to think that it’s out of line asking someone to subdue their children who are in their own garden on a hot summer’s day after 4pm?

Yanbu...I'd totally ignore them and get on with your day.

It’s a them problem. If they can’t handle the noise of little kids in a paddling pool at a perfectly reasonable time of day, they can shut their windows and get a fan.

Or work from another room.

Children playing in a paddling pool at that time of day is totally normal and fine. I love to hear my neighbour's kids in the garden, but I don't work from home. One of the boys can scream and whine, which is irritating.

If I was you I would not change how you use your garden but I would apologise, this may appease your neighbours as it must be distracting for them.

I disagree... don't apologise. That will imply you are doing something wrong, which your aren't.

I’d say something like “hmm yes that is the risk you take with working from home in a residential area. Obviously we aren’t in an office block so you will hear families. Have a great day!”

I work from home and find this nuts. It’s the hottest week of the year and your dc are playing in their garden. Neighbour needs noise cancelling headphones.

You bought a home not an office - quite reasonable to have that level of noise at that time of day. There are offices to rent if he needs a guaranteed quiet time.

If noise is an issue they need to go a work in their workplace.

Apologise for what, exactly??

YANBU - they need to sort themselves out

Devil's advocate here - sometimes children scream unnecessarily and need to rein it in.

I dont mean the daughter being upset, as you helped her to calm down. I mean those top of the lungs constant screams. Bad habit. Dont know whether thats the case here.

"The entitlement they feel to request..."
Erm... check yourself! Neighbours can ask each other for consideration. Its neighbourly. I imagine if they had a party while your kids were trying to sleep, youd request them to keep it down too?

I agree with @raysan if the noise was excessive.

It's give and take in this world. And faling out with neighbours can be really awkward.

Normal children playing noise is different to screaming or squealing for no reason, any children i have at home would not be allowed to do that

We have loads of children around here who use the road outside (it's a Close) as a racetrack/football pitch and also children in two close by houses who are outside playing all day as both of those houses are childminders - I love hearing the kids all playing but sometimes if they're OTT screaming repeatedly it can get annoying - but we were all children once.

My mum never let me scream when playing and always made me "respect the neighbours" but I think it's healthy to let kids be loud when playing so long as it's not excessive, repeated shrieking for ages.

The kids on our street (about 10 of them on average aging from 2 to 12) play in the street and are always noisy, but they're just kids being kids and having fun and if they're being too loud, I simply close the window and turn up the TV or put some white noise on and let them get on with it - I wouldn't dream of asking their parents or the childminders to quieten them down.

Due to my illness, I often have to go to bed really early due to my medication making me sleepy, and I sleep with the bedroom window open in this weather and even then I don't care about the kids shouting and playing outside - in fact, I was listening to them the other night as they had a "serious" (to them) conversation about girls and I ended up giggling away to myself as I fell asleep as one boy retorted "I'd rather sit in a bath full of spiders" in response to the other boy fancying a certain girl.

Entitled to not want to hear constant screaming?

This is what's going wrong with the world.

The only acceptable reason for screaming is that your child is in danger and needs urgent assistance.

Screaming to indicate you're having a fun time is not acceptable.

Absolutely a them problem. Their solution is to buy noise cancelling headphones like the rest of us who have to work in noisy areas.

It sounds like there was quite a lot of screaming which is really annoying and unnecessary - yabu

Hard to know without knowing the nature of the noise. Children do scream but if it was excessive shrieking I would probably ask them to keep it down; not least but I can't stand to listen to it myself. If it was normal 'kids playing noise' then obviously YANBU

My view too @ElatedBee. If they were actually screaming for no good reason, then I think you should try to teach them not to do that. Some children do that and it is mega annoying and goes right through you if you have to listen to it.

If it was really just cheerful noise from children playing then no. of course YANBU. Only you can say, which it was?

Why the fuck are these kids growling at each other, and that’s considered normal?🤣

This.

I actually don’t think it’s acceptable to let your kids scream just because they’re playing. YABU.

This.

It's similar to people moving to the country and moaning about the countryside sounds. Cows, hens etc. Odd

children do tend to scream when they get excited and a pool on a hot day is exciting. They are letting off energy in a healthy way.

I think those working from home, need to think about placement of workspace and perhaps invest in earplugs or headphones if noise bothers them.

Ridiculous. Of course you can't stop children playing in their garden after school.

They should buy an air conditioner if they are choosing to work from home next to other people's gardens that might, shock horror, be occupied and used in summer in the early evening?

YANBU. They should go to an office if they want an office environment.