AIBU to think this is out of line

[ElatedBee]

Neighbour asked to keep my children’s “screaming down” at 5:20pm when they were playing in a paddling pool in our garden on a very hot day. Reason given that they were working with open windows due to heat and it was loud. To me it sounds like a them problem, not a me problem, and the entitlement that they feel to request something of me in this instance is out of line.

For specific context, my son (3) was having a play date with another boy of same age that started at about 4pm in our garden, in the paddling pool. My daughter (6) joined around 4:45pm after school. She initially became very upset when she saw the two boys playing because she felt that she missed out on fun pool time and it wasn’t fair, but she calmed down in a few minutes. All three children were playing happily with me and the other mum supervising. Then my children had a fight about pouring water on the slide to make it slippery, when the daughter growled at the son and he growled back at her, at which point I had to intervene and de-escalate. Then they played merrily again until 5:30pm when the play date ended and my daughter went inside. This is to say that it was all very usual children’s behaviour. The only thing I could do to reduce the noise level is not have them out in the pool, but indoors.

AIBU to think that it’s out of line asking someone to subdue their children who are in their own garden on a hot summer’s day after 4pm?

Pre having kids myself this may have been something that irritated me. However I still understood it was a "me" problem even if I was working. There is absolutely no way I'd have had the audacity to actually say something.

So no, you arent being unreasonable. Tell them to shut their windows or put headphones in. Your kids have just as much right to enjoy themselves in the garden as anybody else.

However I still understood it was a "me" problem even if I was working
This is what it comes to doesn't it? Previous generations and certainly many cultures still consider that you make a nuisance of yourself to others through no care of how it impacts others, you're the one in the wrong.

Nowadays, at least in this country, there is a growing sense of r titlement that your enjoyment prevails other people's discomfort, and that feeling stressed by the noise of others is yours to deal with.

Personally I think we are much too overestimulated by noise and it is bringing the worse in us. I think it accounts quite a lot to explain kids finding it difficult to focus and concentrate.

Kids to do need to scream and screech. Kids should have fun and that should include much laughter. Its the best sound to here kids laugh, but good parents teach their children about respecting others as much as expecting respect from others.

That’s the risk of WFH! I work shifts, I don’t expect neighbours kids to be quiet when I’m trying to sleep during the day! If I don’t get any sleep, well that is my issue for working a shift job. Like it is this neighbours issue for WFH

I doubt any child is screaming permanently on a loop and even the ones that are I’ve never thought I could tell the parents to keep them quiet at 4pm

Lots of us wfh. I hate the noisy kids next door. Especially as they are never told to be quieter. A dog barking gets complained about but never those little "angels".

Try weekends 10am until 10pm and most evenings
no not continuous but all day and evening to the point you have to have your windows closed or you can’t hear the TV and the garden is unusable unless you wear earplugs or noise cancelling headphones

small, close together gardens
I posted an example on here once when people said it was fine and suddenly everyone was horrified and said god no not screaming like that

I live backing onto a school field and WFH.

Recently it's been sounding like Hunger Games at lunchtime as 300 kids spill out onto the field behind my house. It's noisy, it sometimes disturbs me working but it's ok because I live near a school and I WFH. I close the door or move to a different room for meetings.

Kids in a paddling pool on a day like today? Utterly and unquestionably ok op - if they have a problem they can go to the office.

I think it's absolutely fine for children to make some noise playing in their garden, but if they were actually screaming like she said then that is unreasonable when parents allow children to scream as part of their play without telling them to stop (doesn't really sound like what happened for you though.) we had neighbors who obviously never told their children to stop screaming, they were all over 10 and still out there screaming and squealing every day, wouldn't know to call the police if there was an emergency because they just screamed all the time.

I would normally say that the neighbour is being completely unreasonable but weirdly about an hour ago I heard some kids nearby and they were screaming. I genuinely went to see if I could see them because it sounded like one was hurt and I was worried they needed an adult to intervene (they sounded young) Anyway, I couldn’t see them because they were in a nearby garden but at least 2 houses away. I thought to myself ‘My kids aren’t as bad as I think, I would never let them scream continuously like that without having a word with them.’ And one is autistic! That said, 10 mins later it was over and I wouldn’t dream of mentioning it unless it was all day every day. Ultimately, there’s nothing your neighbour can do if you don’t comply with their request and I doubt any law enforcement / council would care about noise at that time of day. To summarise I would just ask your children not to scream and intervene when they do (which they will because they’re children) by reminding them not to scream or giving them some time inside when they’re being a bit much or are over excited. There’s nothing worse than not getting on with your neighbours so a bit of consideration wouldn’t hurt IMO.

It sounds like not just playing but fighting and squealing? That could get annoying if it's all day. No sympathy for the WFH situation though, people don't have to adapt normal living because someone chooses to WFH.

As far as the fighting, I have some kids not far away who seem to fight an awful lot. I can't help but have evaluated them as a generally unhappy family with generally unhappy kids.