AIBU to think this is out of line

[ElatedBee]

Neighbour asked to keep my children’s “screaming down” at 5:20pm when they were playing in a paddling pool in our garden on a very hot day. Reason given that they were working with open windows due to heat and it was loud. To me it sounds like a them problem, not a me problem, and the entitlement that they feel to request something of me in this instance is out of line.

For specific context, my son (3) was having a play date with another boy of same age that started at about 4pm in our garden, in the paddling pool. My daughter (6) joined around 4:45pm after school. She initially became very upset when she saw the two boys playing because she felt that she missed out on fun pool time and it wasn’t fair, but she calmed down in a few minutes. All three children were playing happily with me and the other mum supervising. Then my children had a fight about pouring water on the slide to make it slippery, when the daughter growled at the son and he growled back at her, at which point I had to intervene and de-escalate. Then they played merrily again until 5:30pm when the play date ended and my daughter went inside. This is to say that it was all very usual children’s behaviour. The only thing I could do to reduce the noise level is not have them out in the pool, but indoors.

AIBU to think that it’s out of line asking someone to subdue their children who are in their own garden on a hot summer’s day after 4pm?

My first thought too. I didn't know children growled.

If i was being a cow i'd remind them its a home not an office block and they dont' have a reasonable expectation of quiet before 9pm.

if i was being diplomatic i'd say its hot my children have right to enjoy our outside space, sorry for the noise. maybe she should move to the front of the house.

I couldn't care less if children scream and shriek in their gardens during the day...or even growl 😂childhood is short and the weather is often crap...let them run wild occasionally I say!

YANBU. Kids are allowed to play noisily in their own gardens at reasonable hours of the day, as this was. Your neighbour could use noise cancelling headphones if the sound is distracting to them.

Live and let live.
Just say you'll keep the noise down and both get on with your day.

Jeepers, why would they have their windows open letting in the heat at that time of day anyway?

I quite agree. Your neighbour would not have liked living next to me when mine and the neighbours' children regularly played in the back gardens for hours in good weather.

Children always squeal, go past any primary school at break time and you hear plenty of that, it's normal.

Your neighbour has forgotten what she was like as a child.

Ignore her, let the children play.

I had a neighbour, not sure which one,l as the houses back onto each other start practising a tuba very badly in their garden yesterday for an hour when I was working from home. I just moved rooms and got on with my day.
People should be able to use their homes and gardens and make a bit of noise.
Obviously, if screaming was for a very long time and loud music for hours without warning etc that would be antisocial but kids playing for a few hours is what gardens are for.

Exactly!

It's really dangerous for DC not to understand that they don't scream unless they're really in trouble. And if you're supervising, then there's no danger & no reason to scream.

I'm imagining like a "ughhhh!" noise as opposed to a real growl? 😅

I would have said no they won't keep the noise down.
Close your windows you ignorant shits. imagine asking someone to do this ! My neighbours would never and they work from home they would shut over the windows to the noise.

I'm working from home today. Openreach are digging up the street noisily. Knowing that I'm only working from home because nothing I'm doing can't be interrupted by drilling, plus work has given me a noise cancelling headset.

Nothing better than hearing toddlers having fun in a garden on a nice day :-)

Now older youths constantly kicking a ball against the fence would be a no from me.

lol! Yes this 👍🏼😂

I’m wondering if your old neighbours are my ones now! Three girls and the younger two especially, scream and screech and whinge CONSTANTLY! The other Sunday, it was pretty much six hours solid.
I don’t mind listening to kids playing and having fun (I’ve worked with children for years) but the constant screaming is awful. My two never made the amount of noise that next door make, even when they had friends round.

I work from home. My neighbours were doing DIY whilst I was in a conference. Dog barking when I'm trying to record a webinar. Postman knocking when I'm in meetings. None of it bothers me. If you work from home your workplace should be understanding, and you should buy earplugs. Just ignore!

Ordinary playing noises is absolutely not unreasonable but excessive shrieking and screaming is unreasonable

Hard to know without knowing the nature of the noise. Children do scream but if it was excessive shrieking I would probably ask them to keep it down; not least but I can't stand to listen to it myself. If it was normal 'kids playing noise' then obviously YANBU
This! I think it might be a symptom of my adhd, but sudden high pitch children noise just makes my adrenalin shut up like fight or flight and the feeling is extremely unpleasant and stressful.

I love hearing kids playing, it's endearing but when it reaches that high decibel, I feel so stressed, it triggers a sense of rage that I have to swallow and keep inside. It's tough!

When you choose to WFH, you have to remember that it's a home, not an office, and you can't expect other people, including other people that live in the house and neighbours, to facilitate office conditions.

Given we’re on MN I’d expected people to side with you but it depends on the level of screaming. They can and should tone it down.

Bet you’re a right laugh

I think it's unreasonable to complain because you have chosen to work from home but tbf children screaming at the top of their lungs for hours on end does get a tad wearing. I used to ask mine to keep the noise down to a reasonable level when they played in the garden; after all every one is entitled to spend their own enjoyable time in their own garden surely.

Be like the late queen on this….never explain, never apologise! Let the children play FFS…….it’s not like it was going on for hours and hours.

As others have said, it depends on the level of noise. Just children laughing and playing is fine...however screeching/screaming constantly is absolutely maddening.

My neighbours' kids scream a lot when they're playing outside, especially when other children visit. Don't know why, as I can't really imagine what kind of play would or should involve such repetitive screaming, but I assume they are actually enjoying themselves.

In my childhood, if my siblings and I had screamed like that while playing our parents would very quickly have told us to stop making so much needless noise.

Nonetheless, it certainly doesn't bother me enough to complain. It can be a little irritating but I've encountered far worse sources of noise, such as neighbours letting their dogs bark all day.