Piss taking neighbour

[Violetraindrops]

Moved to a nice (ish) area a few months ago, knew when I saw the new neighbour that he was a prick. Unreal how entitled the people down this street are tbh. My family and I are not stuck up yet we’re not the pits or in the nightmare neighbour bracket but it’s clear the neighbours look down on us as we do not follow the typical religion and culture that most of the street share.
So this twat hardly even says hello yet he stood at our garden fence watching as we were going to trim our hedges with our new hedge trimmer the other day and asked my partner if he would come and trim the hedge in his garden as it is our hedge that has grown over to his side. (I didn’t realise my partner hadn’t offered to do it himself and that this neighbour actually thinks it is our responsibility to do so and expects us to sort it as if it is our responsibility).
Fast forward to yesterday, a delivery guy attempts to deliver a package to this neighbour, rings his ring doorbell, I was in my garden at this point and heard loud and clear the neighbour say through the speaker that he was not home and to not leave the parcel with me but to take it to the other neighbours!
So he expects my partner to go and do his gardening yet we’re not good enough to take his parcel in? I could hear the disgust in his voice at the idea of the delivery man leaving his parcel with us.
He also stores his massive ladders in our garage because they won’t fit in his. Honestly I felt like launching his ladders over the fence for him to store where the sun doesn’t shine.
I could understand if we were scum bags and caused nuisance but we’re in bed by a reasonable time and do not make excessive noise or other anti social issues.
I realise I shouldn’t give it a second thought yet after hearing his tone about us to the driver I feel enraged at his cheek.

To me it’s a win not an insult
ladders on of those things also very hand if you need to borrow them as the can hardly say no

the hedge I know your not obligated to cut it but at the end of the day it’s yours and you are creating work for the neighbour

think they didn’t want to ask any more favours off you

Who do you think has name changed, and how? You can't do it without re-registering in another name, and why would anyone do that?

Um, I haven't? I'm someone else, with a question about ladders?

It's me and I haven't name changed, I just have a question about ladders!

I don't think you can determine if someone likes you by the tone of their voice through a ring doorbell. I would give it another go with him, have a conversation about something inane like the weather or the weekend and see what you think. His disgust could have been for the delivery driver or just having a bad day.
If you give it another go and still thonk he hates you then fair enough, but I wouldnt judge an entire relationship on one sentence said through a ring doorbell.

No, you can totally name change in a thread, even if it’s your own

Try it, MN have made it much more difficult than it used to be. You can only do it by registering as a separate person.

It's 2025

Can we stop using gaslighting to describe "someone has a different opinion to me"

So people are only allowed to be annoyed/let their voice show off their emotions if their nan just died?

Or any close relative or dog. Just because you have a bad day does not excuse treating people like shit.

Someone possibly sounded a little annoyed on a Ring doorbell

That's not treating people like shit

I’d like to think that we have proven ourselves as nice normal neighbours.

Nice neighbours cut their hedge when it spills over onto another neighbours property. At least, that's what I do. He probably doesn't want you taking your parcel because you won't cut your own hedge that's on his property. You've got things the wrong way around.

To be honest, OP, it sounds like you have a massive bee in your bonnet about not fitting in. Nutty neighbours are not a thing anyone wants.

Ah! That’s a new thing! No sock puppeting from the OP without effort then!

It is actually your responsibility to trim your own hedges.

I am intrigued, I'm 75 years old and have never lived anywhere that has a predominant religion and culture. Nobody ever talked about such things, some went to a place of worship but that was their business, who cares?

Your neighbour sounds horrible. Be superficially polite but distant from now on. You've done nothing wrong. I daresay other neighbours aren't keen on him either but just ignore him.

One of our neighbours, not immediately next door, positively told us to get anything that has to be left diverted to them because they work from home and are always around. It could be something similar he knows them and he knows they will be in and don't mind accepting parcels.

where as I’m intrigued that someone thinks they can tell someone’s tone of voice - with regards to them as people - via the medium of a ring doorbell.

sorry OP you sound very very hard work and looking for offence at every opportunity

Do you even have proof these ladders are actually his? EVERYTHING that is in your house/shed/garage etc and on your property when you buy it is YOURS! If the neighbour really did own the ladders then he’d have been told this and told
to move them or he’d lose them as law overrules everything

British culture often means we dance around things very passive aggressively. I'd be polite but firm and just engage in a conversation; tell them what's on your mind, ask if they have any personal issues with you (besides the hedge trimming), and if they don't seem sincere, suggest they take their ladders back. At least by engaging in an open dialogue you'll have a better idea whether it is just a misunderstanding, or if they take personal issue.

As others have noted, I would also verify (elsewhere) if they really are his ladders.

OP, does your neighbour have a key to your garage?
If he's storing massive ladders there he could potentially store other items further down the line.
I would definitely want any key back and wouldn't be happy to store someone else's ladders in a limited storage space.

it’s clear the neighbours look down on us as we do not follow the typical religion and culture that most of the street share.

Are you going to elaborate on this titbit OP?

Sorry but it's your hedge your responsibility! Why aren't you offering to keep your hedge tidy and expecting him to tidy it for you?

Why do you want to take in his parcels when you clearly don't like him. It's a pain and surely if he senses how you feel about him that's why he didn't want to bother you further.

And what has he actually said and done that's so personally offensive to you?

If your husband chose to cut his hedge that's his decision. He needn't do it again.

How do you know people dislike you based on your religion/culture?

Be careful who's advice you take on here. If you look at posts some are extremely quick to shout "Divorce!" "Gaslighting!" Over something trivial like DH being 5 minutes late from work.

I'd wait it out because it's hard to tell. Hedges he may have asked as you OH already had the cutter out. Package he may have reacted strongly because he thought they've already trimmed the hedge and are storing my ladders, they'll feel like I'm talking the piss if they have to start taking my parcels as well!

You said you felt like he was a prick before you even moved in, so maybe it's your subconscious bias seeing all the things he does in a bad light/or thinking he's judging you where in reality you think that based on your judging of him.

Sorry OP but you sound pretty judgemental. It seems you decided before speaking to your neighbours, that they look down on you because you have a different religion, so you're pre-judging them, without even knowing what religion they actually are, if any, seeing as you can't tell someones religion from simply looking at them.