Piss taking neighbour

[Violetraindrops]

Moved to a nice (ish) area a few months ago, knew when I saw the new neighbour that he was a prick. Unreal how entitled the people down this street are tbh. My family and I are not stuck up yet we’re not the pits or in the nightmare neighbour bracket but it’s clear the neighbours look down on us as we do not follow the typical religion and culture that most of the street share.
So this twat hardly even says hello yet he stood at our garden fence watching as we were going to trim our hedges with our new hedge trimmer the other day and asked my partner if he would come and trim the hedge in his garden as it is our hedge that has grown over to his side. (I didn’t realise my partner hadn’t offered to do it himself and that this neighbour actually thinks it is our responsibility to do so and expects us to sort it as if it is our responsibility).
Fast forward to yesterday, a delivery guy attempts to deliver a package to this neighbour, rings his ring doorbell, I was in my garden at this point and heard loud and clear the neighbour say through the speaker that he was not home and to not leave the parcel with me but to take it to the other neighbours!
So he expects my partner to go and do his gardening yet we’re not good enough to take his parcel in? I could hear the disgust in his voice at the idea of the delivery man leaving his parcel with us.
He also stores his massive ladders in our garage because they won’t fit in his. Honestly I felt like launching his ladders over the fence for him to store where the sun doesn’t shine.
I could understand if we were scum bags and caused nuisance but we’re in bed by a reasonable time and do not make excessive noise or other anti social issues.
I realise I shouldn’t give it a second thought yet after hearing his tone about us to the driver I feel enraged at his cheek.

You were and are perfectly at liberty to decline storing his ladders and trimming his hedge. And tbh, while it seems pretty unlikely to me that literally everyone on the street is ‘entitled’ (what do you mean by this? How do you know?), it’s even odder that you seem to think the two options for you are ‘stuck up’ or ‘the pits or in the nightmare neighbour bracket’? Other ways of being are available, you know.

Love it 😆

Surely he knows the other neighbors better?
I think I would try & be neutral with this man, he & you are potentially going to be neighbors for years.

Why do people always say this? It's always mentioned when someone has been an arsehole.

Doesn't matter what's going on unless his nan died.

Maybe the parcel is a thank you gift for you for storing the ladders/cutting the hedge and he didn’t want to spoil the surprise

Go with your gut op
You are not a storage unit for other neighbours.
This guy dosn't sound like a good neighbour.
Nor do you have to do other people's garden's.

Delivery driver thinks to himself “eh, what d’ya mean you’re not in??”

Wouldn’t be doing him any favours in the future and definitely wouldn’t be cutting his hedge.
sometimes it’s best to have distance when you have an awkward neighbour like this.
He's maybe known as difficult among other neighbours on the street.

I imagine most delivery drivers get used to how Ring doorbells work very quickly. You do know that it means people can speak to the driver via their phone wherever they are?

Overreacting probably if you already had a predisposition to not liking him. You already called him p*ss taking in the thread title. He may not want to inconvenience you with parcels when you're already helping him or be fearful of assuming you'll take a parcel if he hasn't asked you

I’d take heed of this, neighbour wars can start so easily and end up making your life hell.

Based on what you’ve written you seem to have assumed your neighbour hates you because you’re not the same culture/religion. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. At this point, you’ve no way of knowing based on him (albeit cheekily) asking you to trim his hedges and your perception (through a Ring doorbell which you heard in your garden so presumably not very clearly) that he had a ‘tone of disgust’ when referring to your house number.

You've got a choice here. You either assume the worst and potentially kick off a conflict with your neighbour which will make everyone’s lives miserable or write it off as him being a bit of a chancer but otherwise someone you can live in peace with. You don’t have to be mates but you also don’t have to live in hostility. I read so many of these ‘neighbours in court’ stories with people scrapping over the smallest detail, wasting £1000s on lawyers and I wonder if it starts with small things like this.

We all have to make choices all the time. Do we fight or do we let it go.

I think since you decided his a prick the second you set eyes on him that anything he does is going to annoy you.

I have a neighbour who always sends their parcels my way, because they know I work from home and will happily take them in. So if they rang he would tell them to bring them to mine he wouldn’t know his direct neighbour was in or not.

Don’t cut the hedge if you don’t want too. Tell him his free to take it upto the boundary line and bin the cuttings.

The ladder is weird anyway but just give it back.

Be warned however you are likely to be the one who ends up looking the prick in the brand new street.

Look, none of us heard the tone or words used on the Ring doorbell, so we can’t judge whether he’s an arsehole or whether you’re overreacting.

What I would say is, be very careful about escalating any bad feeling with a neighbour. Two couples a few doors down from me went to war and ended up in the High Court, which ended with one of them having to sell their house in order to pay the £100K costs that they were ordered to pay. The drama started with one of them walking across the other’s drive en route to buying his morning paper.

It’s just not worth it. One of my neighbours is a pillock, but I keep it friendly and get on with my day. Give it minimal headspace.

Parcels - I would be thrilled never to be asked to take in the neighbours' parcels.

Hedge - my understanding is if it is planted on one side of the boundary then it is that person's responsibility to cut both sides. If it's on the boundary then each trims own side. You can trim if you have checked there are no nests.

Ladders - a bit off that he didn't approach you a bit more formally. See from the street whether his other neighbours have a suitable size of garage for his ladders as well as his parcels. Also, will he expect a key to your garage or are you to open up your garage for him as and when it suits him? You could wait tillhe needs them, then refuse to let him put them back in your garage. Unsecured ladders are a menace and break-in risk, and I wouldn't rush to dump them on his doorstep.

Does your neighbour have proof they're his ladders? Perhaps he admired the previous owners ladders and when they left took it as an opportunity to lay claim to them. I'd request proof he owns the ladders otherwise I'd say they're your ladders.

it’s clear the neighbours look down on us as we do not follow the typical religion and culture that most of the street share.

Intrigued by this. Is it Amish?

You're going to have to elaborate further on how a situation goes from walking across someones' drive to being ordered to pay £100K! That sounds ridiculous and quite a jump.

Because it sounds like someone ridiculous bible scaremongering. Be nice to your neighbours folks otherwise one day you'll be ordered to pay 1 billion, million dollars!

Lol at the we can't judge whether you're overreacting, followed by a warning you could wake up one day with £100K to pay for an escalating dispute with the neighbour. Now who's overreacting?

How do you know someone is a prick by looking at them?
How are the other street residents entitled?
How do you know what religion/culture the other neighbours are?
Did you voice your opinions about him doing both sides of the hedge where neighbour might hear them? That may explain him being keen to avoid imposing on you any further. You could use the ladder/hedge thing to start making friends, and get to know him a bit. It is very handy getting on well with your neighbours, you never know when you might need a favour yourself. Added to the fact that neighbour disputes are a horrible way to live, and have to be declared when selling house.

I think your feelings about him and the street are all projecting, and it’s you judging and jumping to conclusions.

And someone disagreeing with you doesn’t make them a ‘snob’.

Take a deep breath. I'm sorry you feel he's looking down on you, it's not nice.

However, it's always better to keep things civil where possible with neighbours. You don't have to let him take the piss. Tell him you are returning the ladders before you do it, don't just dump them. Just nod and smile when you see him, don't engage any further. He can trim his own hedge! As for the parcels, that sounds like a win to me.

He might be a prick, you might be overthinking a bit. Possibly a bit of both. But honestly, my best advice is to rise above it all. You'll feel better in the long run.

I wouldn't be storing ladders for someone I basically don't know! That needs to stop, boundaries are important there's no way I'd be taking responsibility for something that is such a big target for theft.

He just probably knows the other neighbours better than he knows you.
Maybe he has an arrangement with them about taking parcels in for him?

On a side note it is crazy how fragile neighbourly relations can be. We moved into our current home 7 years ago and on the day we moved in the neighbours were super friendly with us. About a week later I delicately pointed out that their dog was walking across our drive and doing its business on our front lawn (presumably got into a habit as the house was unoccupied for 4 months before we moved in). That was it, the neighbours now don't look at us, and actively avoid us at all costs. All because they weren't monitoring where their dog shat.

But that’s the whole point. An overreaction to someone walking across his driveway cost the guy £100K.