Piss taking neighbour

[Violetraindrops]

Moved to a nice (ish) area a few months ago, knew when I saw the new neighbour that he was a prick. Unreal how entitled the people down this street are tbh. My family and I are not stuck up yet we’re not the pits or in the nightmare neighbour bracket but it’s clear the neighbours look down on us as we do not follow the typical religion and culture that most of the street share.
So this twat hardly even says hello yet he stood at our garden fence watching as we were going to trim our hedges with our new hedge trimmer the other day and asked my partner if he would come and trim the hedge in his garden as it is our hedge that has grown over to his side. (I didn’t realise my partner hadn’t offered to do it himself and that this neighbour actually thinks it is our responsibility to do so and expects us to sort it as if it is our responsibility).
Fast forward to yesterday, a delivery guy attempts to deliver a package to this neighbour, rings his ring doorbell, I was in my garden at this point and heard loud and clear the neighbour say through the speaker that he was not home and to not leave the parcel with me but to take it to the other neighbours!
So he expects my partner to go and do his gardening yet we’re not good enough to take his parcel in? I could hear the disgust in his voice at the idea of the delivery man leaving his parcel with us.
He also stores his massive ladders in our garage because they won’t fit in his. Honestly I felt like launching his ladders over the fence for him to store where the sun doesn’t shine.
I could understand if we were scum bags and caused nuisance but we’re in bed by a reasonable time and do not make excessive noise or other anti social issues.
I realise I shouldn’t give it a second thought yet after hearing his tone about us to the driver I feel enraged at his cheek.

If it’s your hedge that’s overhanging he is right to ask you if you prefer to cut back his side in the first instance. You might have a particular way you want it done, or want the cuttings for something. If you refuse then he may do it, but he is correct to ask you first.

You sound chippy and on the look out to take offence.

I get you don't like the guy but think you have interpreted a tone re taking in of the parcel which may not have been meant.
I have an arrangement with my next door but 1 neighbour, essentially I know they don't mind and I return the favour.
In terms of future neighbourly relations please don't dump his ladders in his garden, return them if you don't want to keep them but I would be polite and give him some notice.

knew when I saw the new neighbour that he was a prick.

How? What had he done? Or was it just based on seeing him?

Ah OP, take a breath.

Yes he sounds like a prick but honestly, you don’t want to make neighbourly relations worse. Stop doing his gardening, and just be the bigger person.

As much as I think you might be over thinking this and a bit too fixated on what you think his perception of you is, this is really quite a simple matter. You just tell him you might own the hedge but it's up to him to trim his side of it and remove his ladders from your garage. I wouldn't have agreed to that anyway because it's irrelevant what the previous occupier agreed to do. After that just don't give it any more headspace. If you spend your time consumed with who you think looks down on you then your not going to enjoy anywhere you live because there will always be someone who doesn't treat you the way you think they should.

Looks like you escaped the pain that's having to take in other people's parcels.

As for the rest it's hard to interpret anything from a ring conversation so I'd give him the benefit this time round but if there's any kind of repeat performance where he's being a snot then you respond.

I would definitely take the ladders back and say you don't have space any more.
And the hedge on his side is his responsibility.
Then try and avoid him . No smiles . No hello.
We have had neighbours like this . Only speak to people when they want something. Snobs are the most ridiculous people .

It sounds like you have a problem with him. Your first comment is you knew when you saw him he was a prick. You comment others are judging you but it sounds like it's the other way round.

The ladders he asked if he could keep in the garage as that was his previous arrangement. You didn't have to agree to that and simply said unfortunately we need the space for our own belongings and could you please move them.
The hedge again sounds reasonable, if it's your hedge you might be offended if he cut it too short.
I only ever ask to leave parcels with a certain neighbour, this is because they are generally in all day and I know I could collect from them in the evening. I have nothing against my other neighbour but they are often out and go away regularly so if they took in my parcel then I would be less likely to get it instantly.

I think you need to get over your opinions of others in the street.

Has the OP said which culture, not that it's at all relevant.

Two things I'm interested in...

"knew when I saw the new neighbour that he was a prick" - that's quite the talent. Or could be making assumptions?

"we do not follow the typical religion and culture that most of the street share" - are you trying to say the neighbour is racist, or discriminating against you in some other way?

All the rest of it sounds like a bit of an overreaction. Speak to him and say that the ladders in the garage doesn't work for you any more and he'll have to find alternative storage. And that although the previous occupants were happy to cut his hedge for him, you won't be doing that. The parcel thing is just weird.

This is what I was thinking. Maybe he has an agreement with the other neighbour and he didn’t want to push his luck with you. Tone through a ring doorbell could be hard to interpret. The hedge trimming sounds like a piss take though but he might be a chancer (is he older and feels younger people should look after their older neighbours?) rather than a bastard and you do have to live next to him so maybe be moderate in your reaction.

I really don't think you can read anything into the tone of voice you overheard on the doorbell speaker. You have no idea what was going on at his end - for all you know the delivery guy interrupted something important, or your neighbour was in a hurry or stressed about something, or in a crowded area or whatever. He might have sounded impatient because he's already given instructions for where the parcel was to be left if he wasn't in. He probably asked them to leave the parcel with his other neighbour because they already have an arrangement to take in each other's parcels.

It has always been my understanding that if a boundary is defined by hedging and specifically belongs to one householder that they are responsible for their own side and the top………cutting the side on the neighbours property is a goodwill gesture not a responsibility……..but I might be wrong (old bird here brought up on a council estate with lots of hedges).

As for the ladder………take it out of your garage, place it in his garden, ring his doorbell and tell him you have NO SPACE for it……..don’t even mention the overheard conversation.

Fuck him. Piece of shit talking about you like that. I'd be Furious. Take his ladders back and sod the hedge, make a stand now or forever be picked on

Don't be silly. She heard the message, stop gaslighting

If it’s your hedge, then it’s your responsibility to take care of it. His request was fine.

You have no idea why he didn’t want the parcel sent to you.

Agree with others - you’re looking for problems where there aren’t any.

Were you given evidence of ladder ownership when you bought?

I'd be tempted to put them up for sale on gumtree.

What did she actually hear? All she heard was don’t take it there and she has no idea why.

Are you sure they are his ladders and the previous owner of your home didn't leave them there, making them your ladders?

While it may not be your legal responsibility it's just polite to offer to cut your hedge where it's growing into neighbour's property. I get my very large long hedges cut once a year and the man always trims them on the other side of the wall too which is on my neighbours side and tidies up and takes away the cuttings from their yard. It would be slightly different if the hedge is also neighbours only boundary with you and provides privacy that he wants, still neighbourly to at least offer to cut it!

God the snobby cows are out in force this morning. Not you OP.

And giving a different perspective is NOT gaslighting 🙄

What a huge over reaction.

Firstly if the hedge is yours, you are responsible for maintaining it even if it goes over into his garden. He is within his rights to chop the hedge himself and throw the cuttings into your garden - although this could probably be perceived as unfriendly.

Secindly, he may be best mates with the other house and know he is going to pop in there later. I wouldn’t be immediately jumping on the paranoia train and thinking you are not ‘good enough’ to take his parcel.

If the ladders aren’t in your way then let them stay. We have long ladders that a lot of tge neighbours have used from time to time. You never know when you may need them too.
I think you need to get some perspective on this asap.
I find it’s best to cut your neighbours some slack as they are neighbours a long time and it makes life a lot more pleasant if you are on good terms with them.

Stap back, leave it a day and decide whether you really need to go to war with him.

You both clearly don't like each other, but it is not wise to be in actual conflict with your neighbour. It will really spoil the enjoyment of your home.

He was rude and dismissive of them. It was what he said and the tone of it. I would take the ladders back and definitely wouldn't be cutting his hedge.