To find days off with my kids almost unbearable?

[saynn]

Which is horrible but hear me out. They are 4 (5 in October, start school then) and 1 (2 in August.) I have Wednesdays and Thursdays off with them. And I hate it.

I know it’s horrible but it’s the way it’s just impossible to get anything done at all without someone wanting something, whining, falling out, demanding something. I know I need to lower standards but I do find it hard when there’s a mess or something and plus we do need to eat!

I do take them out as much as I can but even that’s getting to be hard work as one is a very slow walker and the other a very speedy runner.

I’m desperately counting the days until my older child starts school as both of them together just about finishes me off.

Haven’t we answered the ‘why did you have kids’ by now?

I probably wouldn’t have if they stayed four and two forever but they grow, you see. One could almost say that in a year they will no longer be four and two.

Ignore them OP. Misery loves company!!

You had kids. ….

Exactly.

DC are constantly growing and changing and it's ridiculous to say that you shouldn't have DC if you don't like the baby stage or the toddler stage or whatever stage it may be.

I hated the baby stage and wasn't going to not have more DC just because of that. You just have to get through it.

Some people in this thread must’ve had less lively toddlers than I had! “Just let them play alone while you get dinner ready!” - as if the 4 year old won’t be attempting to do cartwheels off the sofa while the toddler is climbing on the toilet cistern to try and get the toilet bleach and toilet brush if you leave them for more than 5 minutes without checking in

Better house lay out for that age?

We've always had kichen tables - playdough or other activties could be supervised - even in the rented houses prior to buying - and all bar current one I could see TV from kitchen and we moved here when youngest was 6 - it's proven a good lay out for older kids and teens but would have been harder with toddlers.

I also allowed that time of day TV - we'd been busy all day often out running their energy down - and if they couldn't behave they lost the TV. So I was a bad mummy as that included younger kids as toddlers watching number jacks or Charlie & Lola along side eldest. They seem to have turned out okay though.

I expect those people will be back to tell you you'll miss it. Hey I know, maybe now would be a great time to have another one!

I do feel for you, OP - I've won the second child lottery so I have one who fucking loves his buggy in addition to his many other excellent qualities, and it's still really hard going out with both children and no other parent. I've got a dog as well, because I'm an idiot.

Don't worry, you'll find something else to complain against.

Having kids IS hard work, at any age. Different age, different challenges.

The question why bother having kids if you dread weekends and holidays still stands! That wasn't directed at YOU personally the OP, just the people who constantly moan about having kids home at weekends.

I had 3 under 5 at home all last summer and it was unbelievably hard. I could never do it again. I am now back to work part time after maternity leave. I have noticed its hard in a different way. I feel on my 2 week days at home I should try and do some housework but it's basically impossible. So I focus on having dinner prepared for the evening and the house reasonably tidy (toys lifted, dishwasher eptied, beds made) thats it. Then I go to an exercise class to clear my head in the evening. This has been my complete lifeline. So if you could get some time to yourself on yhose evenings it would help I think. It is a battle and so, so hard at times so I don't think you are unreasonable for struggling especially when you have a job, house work, mental load etc etc. You love your children but your only human and being a mummy is the hardest job of all xx

while the toddler is climbing on the toilet cistern to try and get the toilet bleach and toilet brush if you leave them for more than 5 minutes without checking in

if you know they will try and you know it's accessible.. dare I ask why on earth you leave it there?

I am very chilled about child-proofing, but come on? You leave your medicines in their reach too?

Why do people have kids if they resent weekends and holidays, it's highly depressing.

Some of us don't have high quality crystal balls. Plus many find it a passing phase and they do rapidly grow out of it and then it's on to the next one - which may or not be better.

I didn't know the quirks my kids would have or things I thought I'd love I'd actually hate and things I thought sounded awful are the best memories I have. I didn't realise money would be so tight - didn't forsee so many moves caused by job changes out of our control meaning I built support networks and lost them honestly thought our extended families would be more help - as they said they would.

Personally I didn't realise how much fun it would overall be - and despite that there were still bad days and more difficult times.

You don't need a high quality crystal balls to know your life will no longer be happily and lazily child-free when you decide to have children...

You don't need a crystal ball to know that you won't be able to go away for the weekend with no notice and just do your own things?

Come on...

Op isn't saying that - she saying she currently not enjoying her days off with her kids the ages they are.

Not that she expected chidlren to be easy - that's you twisting what she is saying - not sure why honestly - to feel superior - all parents I know had bad days.

I had some terrible days - my kids are ND - often what made it hard was other people not accepting they were different and us learning how to parent them not theoretical kids we envisaged.

I wasn't slagging off the OP, I was literally replying to your sentence

Some of us don't have high quality crystal balls.
by saying you don't need a crystal ball to know the obvious!

Weekends and holidays being one of the obvious.

Those are more obvious.

I had no idea I'd hate the newborn stage
I had no idea that I'd have twins
I had no idea that I'd find so much of it to be mind numbing

etc

It's different for everyone and I think it's ridiculous to suggest that everyone knows exactly what it's like to have DC before having them.

Oh bore off.

I currently have a three year old with a speech delay with massive tantrums and the safety awareness of a toddler just starting to walk. We can't really go to groups because he would rather spend his time playing with the taps in the toilets. There is possible autism. How is that enjoyable? I also have a older child who had so much energy she had to go to the park every day even when it was snow on the ground. The summer before she started school was awful. Not sure why we should enjoy that?

Oh you're right, we should all be changing our house or doing construction work to make our homes more appropriate for each childhood stage.

Some of us live where we can afford. I can't see the living room from the kitchen. I can hear it, but can't see it. I'd have to knock down load bearing and external walls to make it open plan. It'd cost a fortune, which we don't have, and isn't necessarily what we'd want long term or what would be the best thing for our resale price.

We don't have a garden. Imagine a three year old stuck indoors with that much energy that I was suspecting ADHD. It was horrendous.

How can you possibly predict that you will find a particular age range hard work, though? Til you've lived it, would you have KNOWN that your child would hate the pram? Or that one might be incredibly active whilst the other would rather read a book and you need to take the active one out but the reader doesn't want to?

None of this is an exact science. Stop being smug and condescending.

It does seem to be something about very young children that evoke some of the responses I’ve had here.

I think I expect toddlers to be relentless / have tantrums and generally not be easy but there are toddler groups, they usually have a nap where you can recharge for an hour or two, they have a lovely early bedtime so you get the evening. That was what I found with one anyway.

With two, it’s harder to go to groups - DS gets a bit bored and unintentionally boisterous and I feel bad for him being twice the oldest child’s size! The nap is redundant as then you have to give your attention to child 1. And the early bedtime isn’t the joy it was once because the older one stays up later …

And I do expect preteens to be a bit sassy and know it all and teenagers to be surly and unreasonable and for there never to be anything to eat in the house. It’s normal. But no one ever finger wags parents of teens I’ve noticed: it’s definitely reserved for the tiniest!

I didn't mean garden, I mean outside for walks and let them run steam!

I can't imagine families stuck in flats in countries where they were not allowed to go out, or had a 1 hour limit or all the various restrictions.

I was in England and I was lucky! It was bad enough then.

I am sorry, but a child who needs to go out, park or somewhere every day.. thats' normal?

You wouldn't have a dog without planning on letting them run a good hour every day, more depending on the breed, who on earth would think children would need less exercise? If they don't go to sport clubs, yes you take them out? That cannot have come as a surprise?

I honestly do not understand people.

and only when women dislike the stages.

Men get a free pass if they dislike the baby stage, for example.

they usually have a nap where you can recharge for an hour or two, they have a lovely early bedtime so you get the evening.

😂😂

that's being VERY lucky.

I don't know many kids who sleep an hour! Early bed time tends to mean early mornings, so it's not the ideal for everybody.

Oh my dd1 was a dream - Gina ford clearly wrote her routine for my dd. 12 hours at night, two hour naps, dd2 was a shock, she’s never slept more than a 9 hour stretch and that was when she had a virus…