to wonder why parents don’t monitor children’s internet access?

[didistutter56]

Just that really; do you monitor what your children are doing online?

I have a 9YO DD who has a phone and an iPad, both with internet access. However both are checked every day which she knows and has no problem with, she cannot be contacted by people who aren’t in her contacts and if she wants to download an app, I have to approve it first. We also share the same YouTube account so I can see what sort of content she’s watching.

we’ve had some trouble recently with a girl in DDs class falling out with her (the only reason I can see for this is that the other girl calls DD sometimes up to 30 times a day, wanting to play/chat, and if DD doesn’t want to she’s called a fake friend, betrayer, backstabber, etc). I’m having to go into school today to let them know the other girl has been posting online about DD, making videos about her, and encouraging other girls in the class to fall out with her - this other girl in question has autism and it seems fairly obvious to me that she has free reign of the internet, because her parents haven’t picked up on anything she’s doing.

Yes, you teach your DC not to interact with strangers, don't share personal information, roblox is shit hot at removing chat from the games room, if you mention phone number or ask personal questions, immediately deleted.
There has always been pedophiles lurking, no different from the 80's, stranger danger, there is no puppies or sweets in the car, you'll always have children who throw caution to the wind or are vulnerable. Most understand stranger danger.
My DS 10 has 13 friends, a mix of cousins and school friends.
It can be educational too, my DS knows everything the sea and every form of sea life.

Respectfully, it's very different from the 80s. And I don't believe children 'throw caution to the wind'. They're children. They're gullible and naïve.
You can also teach children about sea life without giving money to big tech.

If you multiply this case with all the others schools get landed with - and remember that before smartphones were being presented to children of an increasingly young age, schools did not have this issue to deal with on top of everything else - you might reflect that it's NOT a great idea to give your child a smartphone at all.

Every MNer's child is well behaved, and is only using their smartphones to download books and educational Apps.

It is very different but not in terms of the level of predators.
You can allow children experience the same things as their peers while protecting them too.
Far more accessibility to children in the 80's for vulnerable children.

Some Possibilities :
They don’t care
They don’t know how to apply restrictions
They don’t think that their child is up to no good
they think that everybody else is online and they have FOMO

You mention that some of her friends have Snapchat. They use Snapchat because messages disappear so parents can’t see what is posted. Other apps like WhatsApp have disappearing messages which is good for people who want to bully, sext and get up to illegal stuff.

The cold hard truth is the only person whose behaviour you can influence is your dd. People are saying get rid of the phone because 9 is so young for this kind of drama and she could be facing this for years if they go to the same secondary. In an ideal world the parents will act but don’t be surprised if they say that they can’t control their DD’s actions and say that your dd is being unkind not taking the ASD into account. That’s not my opinion but DARVO is rife when you complain about another child and school is limited in what they can do.

Parents think that by disabling the chat function it makes Roblox safe. The games are completely unsuitable and age ratings don’t work. These are user created games where people can make games like ‘rapper with one p’, beating up pregnant women and ‘stroke the cucumber’.

Yes, teach internet safety, being safe means keeping children away from dangerous sites.

hindenburgresearch.com/roblox/