to wonder why parents don’t monitor children’s internet access?

[didistutter56]

Just that really; do you monitor what your children are doing online?

I have a 9YO DD who has a phone and an iPad, both with internet access. However both are checked every day which she knows and has no problem with, she cannot be contacted by people who aren’t in her contacts and if she wants to download an app, I have to approve it first. We also share the same YouTube account so I can see what sort of content she’s watching.

we’ve had some trouble recently with a girl in DDs class falling out with her (the only reason I can see for this is that the other girl calls DD sometimes up to 30 times a day, wanting to play/chat, and if DD doesn’t want to she’s called a fake friend, betrayer, backstabber, etc). I’m having to go into school today to let them know the other girl has been posting online about DD, making videos about her, and encouraging other girls in the class to fall out with her - this other girl in question has autism and it seems fairly obvious to me that she has free reign of the internet, because her parents haven’t picked up on anything she’s doing.

I can't it's the truth 😉 my own parents were older and had no idea how to even use the laptop they bought let alone what us kids did on it.

Y'all might think I'm way too young to have a 9 year old child but at least Im up to date with the online dangers out there

The fact that most of your child's friends have a smartphone and social media does not make it acceptable parenting.

Get rid of your daughter's smartphone and get her a basic Nokia.

Plus underlines current advice, which is certainly not iPhones for 9 yr olds!
To add: the latter point is happening in schools, sadly, many parents have a laissez-faire approach, and aren't on board.

I think that many parents don’t know how to check their children’s online activity. That and a ridiculously high level of trust in their little darlings.

no the other girl would be calling someone else, just brush the issue under the carpet, nothing to see hear, my lot are ok, doesn't affect me.

Too true. They really, really don't. Or they think a retrospective "check" will suffice.

I do actual advice for once, don't bother checking the lovely childrens devices, check your routers logs, all activity is on there, from the hand shake to the fact the DC friends are on your wifi, it's historical yes, but from within the advanced options you can actually block individual sites, open up different protocols, only allow whatsapp to communicate between x and y time, and only allow whatsapp, no other chat site.
If you can't work it all out, ask?

Well yeah, that's how it works. A parents responsibility is first and foremost to their own DC. OP should report to the school and take action to protect her own child. What happens in other households isn't her responsibility.

If it is happening within the environment the OP's child is in, then it is their responsibility to inform the school, and other friends etc.., Obviously sensibly, we've all had the chat from our parents about child x at school, who was just a wrong un, and you are to, under no circumstance, to play with them or walk home from school with them.

A school/office/Church etc.., are places where all sorts of people interact with and attend, it is our duty as an active member of society to point out issues which we see as potentially affecting someone else within that community.

It is our responsibility to point out obvious bad behaviour to the correct authority, would you not report/call the police if you witnessed a car crash? Or a mugging? If we all go around, in our own little protected bubbles, we loose what is left of society.

If we don't then it's Animal Farm.

Well obviously, that's why I said she should tell the school.... then she should take measures to protect her own child from this, or any other online issues.

a brick phone would have been fine...

Well, a lot of the 15-21 year olds I know vape.... doesn't mean it's right.

How does that work when they're using phone data... ?

I agree, as a secondary school teacher it concerns me that parents allow their children to go on their phones so much. We have so many issues with bullying via Snapchat, and when you contact the parents they’re clueless on how to deal with it. I think it’s so scary that parents don’t know what their children are watching on TikTok or YouTube

kids came back after the half term and they were telling me how their screen time was 10 hours a day!!! I just think that’s an insane amount for a 12/13 year old to be on their phone.

@ButteredRadishes if they are using phone data, link the two contracts to yours, then within the admin setting you will still be able to see - there are various settings (depending upon phone) to state that you won't use mobile data to access certain apps. In general phone data is way slower than your home wifi, but there are always alternatives.

As I've constantly said, children will always find ways around what parents say, I could be completely wrong with how I brought my two up, but I put the responsibility on them, you can use it, but.........

Self policing might work with more responsible older kids who have earned some trust, but 9 year olds just don't have the maturity. As this thread proves. There is just no need for a child that age to have any unsupervised screen time. You might be able to check what sites they were on, but you can't go back and check exactly what they were doing, or watching, or who they were speaking to...

Why do parents give phones to 9yr old little children monitored or not!

I thought most people at least waited until high school?
Hopefully they’re banned by the time my dc gets older!

New report reveals 7 in 10 children experience harm online, but most don’t report it

https://www.internetmatters.org/hub/press-release/new-report-reveals-7-in-10-children-experience-harm-online-but-most-dont-report-it/

You're the only one who seems to have an issue with your age.

Your parents not knowing something doesn't equate to every parent not knowing things.

Many of us probably know more than you do.

I'm talking about other parents up the school gates seeing as that's what the op is about.

Yes many on mumsnet are on the ball about this stuff sometimes to an extreme extent (my eldest is 9 so no experience with teens yet but I've seen people on here saying no phones till 18)

But yes the older parents ar my child's school typically give their young kids iPads and don't seem to realise what they could be doing on there never mind that it's just not good for their health mental and physical to stare at that iPad for hours a day from age 2

🙄🙄🙄

the OP is beng smug about her superior parenting. The fact is. If she hadn't allowed her NINE year old to have a smart phone she wouldn't be in this position would she.

its not brushing the issue under the carpet. 🙄🙄

She not only has a phone but plays Roblox?! Oh man.

Of course all parents should monitor what their child looks at. Also, parents shouldn’t allow a 9 year old to have a phone with internet access. If she needs something to contact you, get her a brick phone.

Agree with this, Roblox is not safe. No matter how many parents on here think it is, it is not. No one should be on it.

www.bloomberg.com/features/2024-roblox-pedophile-problem/