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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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19
Meadowfinch · 15/06/2025 13:46

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 14/06/2025 19:42

I think there’s probably more grooming gangs waiting to be investigated….it will all come out soon

This. It's still going on and there are still young girls under the age of 16 being blamed while the men walk away scot free.

Hopefully this enquiry will get through to the chief constables and the NPCC that they have to act, that their refusal to do so is NEGLIGENCE and the majority of them fail women and girls every day, as a matter of policy.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 13:47

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 13:45

And the cultural values of the vast majority of grooming gangs?

Misogynists are the cultural values of all. The values they hold are that females are 'lesser' than they are.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 13:47

Bollihobs · 15/06/2025 13:38

Where did I say that "the sole reason for the victimisation of the girls was ethnicity" ????

What a weird post.

Then why is focusing on ethnicity important? It's coming across that for some, ethnicity is more important than other factors.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 13:48

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 13:47

Misogynists are the cultural values of all. The values they hold are that females are 'lesser' than they are.

The core is institutionalised misogyny.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 14:01

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 13:48

The core is institutionalised misogyny.

Yep as that is the UK culture and that of all others!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/06/2025 14:01

We've known for a long time that these particular gangs are of Pakistani descent

Some dispute that, @MiloMinderbinder925, and as we've seen on here they use the fact that data on ethnicity isn't consistently collected

Why is it important ie what has been gained from that knowledge?

Again it's difficult to gain anything when the knowledge isn't complete and too many would rather avoid even what we have, though that didn't stop the IICSA making some very welcome recommendations which have been largely ignored

Clearly this is an argument for better focus, data collection and just plain transparency, but sadly I don't belive that'll happen in the current climate where racial sensitivities still come before all else - even the protection of children

cumbriaisbest · 15/06/2025 14:15

SillyMillie90 · 15/06/2025 09:11

It doesn’t matter what race they were it’s about protecting children and making sure this doesn’t happen again.

Children as young as 10 referred to as prostitutes and that authorities weren’t sure they could prove there was no consent. In children. Who can’t consent.

This needs to happen and new protective laws put in place so no child goes through this again.

I feel Starmer is crapping himself, fearing more racist violence, hence the change.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 14:19

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/06/2025 14:01

We've known for a long time that these particular gangs are of Pakistani descent

Some dispute that, @MiloMinderbinder925, and as we've seen on here they use the fact that data on ethnicity isn't consistently collected

Why is it important ie what has been gained from that knowledge?

Again it's difficult to gain anything when the knowledge isn't complete and too many would rather avoid even what we have, though that didn't stop the IICSA making some very welcome recommendations which have been largely ignored

Clearly this is an argument for better focus, data collection and just plain transparency, but sadly I don't belive that'll happen in the current climate where racial sensitivities still come before all else - even the protection of children

I have no idea who has denied the ethnicity of these particular grooming gangs. There have been reports, investigations, it's been brought up in Parliament and many have been imprisoned. Who is denying it?

Racial sensitivity wasn't the only factor involved. The survivors were let down by everyone meant to be protecting them and these men were allowed to continue with impunity.

Large scale child sexual abuse has common factors irrespective of who is perpetuating it. One of them is people in power turning a blind eye. Jimmy Savile, the Church, private schools and care home scandals. The ethnicity of the perpetrators wasn't as important as a culture of abuse.

EasternStandard · 15/06/2025 14:28

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 14:19

I have no idea who has denied the ethnicity of these particular grooming gangs. There have been reports, investigations, it's been brought up in Parliament and many have been imprisoned. Who is denying it?

Racial sensitivity wasn't the only factor involved. The survivors were let down by everyone meant to be protecting them and these men were allowed to continue with impunity.

Large scale child sexual abuse has common factors irrespective of who is perpetuating it. One of them is people in power turning a blind eye. Jimmy Savile, the Church, private schools and care home scandals. The ethnicity of the perpetrators wasn't as important as a culture of abuse.

‘Wasn’t the only factor’

So it was a factor. It’ll be included. Otherwise the public will demand more.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 15/06/2025 14:42

cumbriaisbest · 14/06/2025 21:10

Pointless. Pandering to the racists.

Nazir Afsal said it will retraumatise survivors.

I'm inclined to agree with anything Nazir says. Amazing man

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 14:45

GingerBeverage · 15/06/2025 14:37

Is it incorrect?

SquashedMallow · 15/06/2025 14:54

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 13:38

Bullshit that rapists lie to get away with it? Absolutely they do. In doing so they label the female as a liar who then gets abused.

Are you saying victims of rape are liars? So explain how a 14 year old as arrested for 'falsely accusing' her rapist of rape despite him admitting the act took place and she had injuries to her neck and thighs? Explain how we have over 100 arrests of rape victims per year for this?

Amazing you have never heard females being labelled as false accusers as it is all rapists say when accused. Witness intimidation is a tactic that is used the world over.

My friend had her neck slit and was stabbed 71 times when she reported rape but yeah it is bullshit!

Edited

No... It's not that I've never heard females being labelled 'false accusers'

I dispute you making out white men who commit rape are sympathised with by the public. That is utter horse shit and insulting to us 'the public'

DogsDinner · 15/06/2025 16:04

Pakistani men are massively over represented in child sexual exploitation gangs.

The latest police statistics from 2024 are that pakistanis make up 13.7% of rape gangs, but only 2.7% of the population.

These statistics are despite the reluctance of the authorities to prosecute them.

Of course it matters. We have to put up with our homegrown abusers. We shouldnt be allowing any men in from countries with sky high sexual offending rates.

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 16:48

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 13:47

Misogynists are the cultural values of all. The values they hold are that females are 'lesser' than they are.

I think your argument is completely disingenuous.

We do not live in a society that supports/ validates and legislates for misogyny in the way other societies do.

There are many places in the world where women do not have the freedoms we do . They are married off as children/ not allowed freedom to leave their house / legally raped in marriage etc etc ( I could go on and on obviously)

The idea that western culture is equally as misogynistic as cultures elsewhere is not true .

Misogynistic men do exist in all cultures.

But the way in which some cultures SUPPORTS and validates the misogyny is very different from Western culture where we have the freedom to call it out.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 16:51

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 16:48

I think your argument is completely disingenuous.

We do not live in a society that supports/ validates and legislates for misogyny in the way other societies do.

There are many places in the world where women do not have the freedoms we do . They are married off as children/ not allowed freedom to leave their house / legally raped in marriage etc etc ( I could go on and on obviously)

The idea that western culture is equally as misogynistic as cultures elsewhere is not true .

Misogynistic men do exist in all cultures.

But the way in which some cultures SUPPORTS and validates the misogyny is very different from Western culture where we have the freedom to call it out.

Edited

Western culture supports it too which is why we have people who back rapists and why society believes that women are false accusers in the main.

Andrew Tate being a prime example! We haven't moved on from the witch trials where females were condemned and murdered for being females which still happens.

Steakbreake · 15/06/2025 16:57

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 16:51

Western culture supports it too which is why we have people who back rapists and why society believes that women are false accusers in the main.

Andrew Tate being a prime example! We haven't moved on from the witch trials where females were condemned and murdered for being females which still happens.

I agree you're being disingenuous, Andrew Tate is a shit talking grifter we have one for almost every topic, funnily enough he is also a Muslim now and he hates "western" countries which is why he goes to poorer countries like Romania because he thinks he can get away with treating women like shit there. He openly admits this.

Obviously no where is perfect but in Afghanistan women aren't allowed to leave the house without a male and a burka they can't become doctors or see a male doctor so basically can't even get medical treatment

Whosenameisthis · 15/06/2025 16:57

DogsDinner · 15/06/2025 16:04

Pakistani men are massively over represented in child sexual exploitation gangs.

The latest police statistics from 2024 are that pakistanis make up 13.7% of rape gangs, but only 2.7% of the population.

These statistics are despite the reluctance of the authorities to prosecute them.

Of course it matters. We have to put up with our homegrown abusers. We shouldnt be allowing any men in from countries with sky high sexual offending rates.

Why do you think there’s a reluctance to prosecute them?

I agree that with the Rochdale issue there was a reluctance in fear of racist accusations/escalating racial tensions.

but increasingly we are seeing these gangs being sentenced at court. Both for historic offences and current ones. I don’t believe that fear exists any more. From an optic point of view police and cps bringing charges against grooming gangs gets them a lot of kudos from the public

including the mass trial in West Yorkshire that Tommy Robinson tried to disrupt. Arresting him meant something like 30 men went to prison for long sentences. If held had his way there’s have been a mistrial and they’d all have walked free.

Barr77 · 15/06/2025 17:09

cumbriaisbest · 14/06/2025 21:10

Pointless. Pandering to the racists.

Nazir Afsal said it will retraumatise survivors.

Interesting how you immediately thought of Nazir Afzal rather than the victims themselves. I’d rather hear from the survivors actually affected such as Sammy Woodhouse and Emma Jackson who have been calling for accountability for years.

They don’t need others to speak for them or tell them they’ll be re-traumatised — they’ve been living with that trauma every day. I would prefer to listen to their voices instead.

Besides Afzal has now changed his stance, on X he remarked that if Louise Casey thinks a national inquiry is necessary, the government has no choice but to set one up.

It’s was exactly the accusations of racism— or the fear of being labelled a racist — that created the culture of silence allowing this abuse to continue unchecked.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 17:10

SquashedMallow · 15/06/2025 14:54

No... It's not that I've never heard females being labelled 'false accusers'

I dispute you making out white men who commit rape are sympathised with by the public. That is utter horse shit and insulting to us 'the public'

Edited

The fact that you know about women being called false accusation proves that rapists are supported or else it wouldn't be a thing that people think most women falsely accuse men. It wouldn't even be a thing rapists could say as they wouldn't be believed. The fact that society pretend that it is common to be falsely accused of rape shows that we support rapists more than we support victims as this is not true and data proves that it is very rare - so if it is rare to be falsely accused, how come everyone says they know someone who was falsely accused then? Because everyone knows someone who pretends to be falsely accused and that person is not vilified they are supported. If the world hated on rapists when they were reported this wouldn't be a thing because a rapist would pretend to be falsely accused and people would say off you fuck but they do not.

Andrew Tate has no supporters, Mason Greenwood has no supporters? Connor McGregor has no supporters? All 3 have been cancelled have they? Really?

We had Fathers4Justice supporting a rapist publicly recently supporting him to get custody of his kids because he cried 'false accusation'.

We have cases like Semina Halliwell who reported being raped and who was abused to the point of suicide by those supporting her rapist.

In NI this week we have seen scenes of rioting caused by a report of rape - do people riot to that scale when someone reports they were raped by a white man? Absolutely not! Why not? Because the white rapist cries he was a victim of false accusation and 'we all know women lie' lines are spewed out and everyone rallies round the poor falsely accused rapist.

saraclara · 15/06/2025 17:11

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 13:45

And the cultural values of the vast majority of grooming gangs?

Again, the vast majority of grooming gangs are white. But absolutely no-one is interested in addressing that, and why those gangs exist.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 17:19

Steakbreake · 15/06/2025 16:57

I agree you're being disingenuous, Andrew Tate is a shit talking grifter we have one for almost every topic, funnily enough he is also a Muslim now and he hates "western" countries which is why he goes to poorer countries like Romania because he thinks he can get away with treating women like shit there. He openly admits this.

Obviously no where is perfect but in Afghanistan women aren't allowed to leave the house without a male and a burka they can't become doctors or see a male doctor so basically can't even get medical treatment

Really I never knew that about Afghanistan! Well I never! You think that just because they do that there that groping and abusing women here is ok and we do not have a culture of treating females like shite here because you can talk about somewhere else that treats women badly?

We have women here who are not allowed to leave the house and told to cover up. It is normal to tell women to cover up - not their faces but it is common to tell females to cover up and be more modest etc. Stop dressing like a slut etc.

Women are groped ALL the fucking time so much so it is that common. It is the norm to be groped. 90% of girls in school have been sexually assaulted or harassed - so it is very much the norm here to treat females like shit starting in childhood and do those boys get away with it? Yes they do. They learn that from a young age they can do this and crack on.

Misogyny is so common here and takes many forms. Sad that you'd support men who in our culture promote this and live this way of treating women like shite and internalised misogyny is also a thing as is proof on here.

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 17:27

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 17:19

Really I never knew that about Afghanistan! Well I never! You think that just because they do that there that groping and abusing women here is ok and we do not have a culture of treating females like shite here because you can talk about somewhere else that treats women badly?

We have women here who are not allowed to leave the house and told to cover up. It is normal to tell women to cover up - not their faces but it is common to tell females to cover up and be more modest etc. Stop dressing like a slut etc.

Women are groped ALL the fucking time so much so it is that common. It is the norm to be groped. 90% of girls in school have been sexually assaulted or harassed - so it is very much the norm here to treat females like shit starting in childhood and do those boys get away with it? Yes they do. They learn that from a young age they can do this and crack on.

Misogyny is so common here and takes many forms. Sad that you'd support men who in our culture promote this and live this way of treating women like shite and internalised misogyny is also a thing as is proof on here.

The difference is that misogynistic men in our society are called out . Women are legally protected and women have agency and a voice .

There are many things wrong with our society and women still need to fight for their rights BUT it is ridiculous to say that our society is as misogynistic as the cultures some of the grooming gangs come from where misogynistic behaviour is protected by law.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 17:28

saraclara · 15/06/2025 17:11

Again, the vast majority of grooming gangs are white. But absolutely no-one is interested in addressing that, and why those gangs exist.

Absolutely and if you mention it on here someone will say that we do not have a culture of this nor do we support men like this but please do not speak about it - thus proving us correct.

This is a review of the press and how often they report on white grooming gangs compared to pakistani, kurdish, black etc

There will be a national enquiry into the grooming gangs
Steakbreake · 15/06/2025 17:29

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 17:19

Really I never knew that about Afghanistan! Well I never! You think that just because they do that there that groping and abusing women here is ok and we do not have a culture of treating females like shite here because you can talk about somewhere else that treats women badly?

We have women here who are not allowed to leave the house and told to cover up. It is normal to tell women to cover up - not their faces but it is common to tell females to cover up and be more modest etc. Stop dressing like a slut etc.

Women are groped ALL the fucking time so much so it is that common. It is the norm to be groped. 90% of girls in school have been sexually assaulted or harassed - so it is very much the norm here to treat females like shit starting in childhood and do those boys get away with it? Yes they do. They learn that from a young age they can do this and crack on.

Misogyny is so common here and takes many forms. Sad that you'd support men who in our culture promote this and live this way of treating women like shite and internalised misogyny is also a thing as is proof on here.

Like I said nowhere is perfect and I never said I support men who promote it in our culture? I'm just agreeing with that other poster that it was disingenuous of you to chime in with "western culture supports it to" when the Draconian laws in other countries against women were mentioned.

Like I also said though Andrew Tate is literally a Muslim who elopes to foreign countries like Romania because he thinks he can get away with raping and abusing women in poorer countries. So not sure why you held him up as a "prime example" either

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