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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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19
fairfat40 · 17/06/2025 00:40

saraclara · 14/06/2025 23:38

How many of you heard as much about this gang as you have about the latest Pakistani one?

https://www.gmp.police.uk/news/greater-manchester/news/news/2025/april/victim-of-blackrod-grooming-gang-shares-devastating-impact-on-her-life-as-final-men-sentenced/

The remaining six members of a group of 10 men who groomed, raped and sexually abused underage girls in Blackrod, Bolton, between 2016 and 2018 have been sentenced at Liverpool Crown Court today, Tuesday 29 April 2025.
Daniel Flatters, Jack Poulson, Cory Barrett, James Fitzgerald, Richard Haslam, and Elliott Turner are the final six men that have been handed substantial sentences for a range of sexual offences.
They have each been placed on the Sex Offenders’ Register.

A grooming gang of white British sexual abusers. One of the majority of grooming gangs that are white, but who we don't hear about. I can't imagine why.

Missing the point, no? These abusers were caught - presumably the police acted.

Good.

That’s how it should work when a crime takes place.

You’re correct of course. There are predators of every race and creed. And as we live in a society that is 82% white, I’m not surprised about this case. As we know CSA is endemic.

I think the reason for the outrage (well, my outrage) is that the girls in Rotherham etc were ignored and the rapists were let go Scott free because they didn’t want to be labelled racist. Because Labour didn’t want to lose the vote of the Asian community.

These girls were collateral damage.

People in authority let these abusers act with impunity. Police. Social workers. Politicians.

They did it for a quiet life.

For me THAT is the question.

A separate question is whether Asian are over-represented per capita. I don’t know.

But I do know I want the people in authority held to account.

Fetaface · 17/06/2025 00:54

fairfat40 · 17/06/2025 00:40

Missing the point, no? These abusers were caught - presumably the police acted.

Good.

That’s how it should work when a crime takes place.

You’re correct of course. There are predators of every race and creed. And as we live in a society that is 82% white, I’m not surprised about this case. As we know CSA is endemic.

I think the reason for the outrage (well, my outrage) is that the girls in Rotherham etc were ignored and the rapists were let go Scott free because they didn’t want to be labelled racist. Because Labour didn’t want to lose the vote of the Asian community.

These girls were collateral damage.

People in authority let these abusers act with impunity. Police. Social workers. Politicians.

They did it for a quiet life.

For me THAT is the question.

A separate question is whether Asian are over-represented per capita. I don’t know.

But I do know I want the people in authority held to account.

Still happens because of the quota! What has changed? Because the CPS want to fudge the data they have admitted to that. Why are we talking in the past tense - it is certainly continuing today with the quota.

What has your MP said about the quota?

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 07:18

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 00:10

There’s a lot of deflection in your post .
No mention of the Casey report or the grooming gangs we are discussing. You can’t keep using those tactics.

I agree. I hope @Fetaface read my post on the Spanish/British drunkenness example, because if I say so myself, it highlights perfectly the 'whatabouttery' with this and how it all falls apart.

Stop drinking the kool aid people! No @Fetaface UK men are not conditioned to treat women badly - that's utter rubbish. I'd say it's actually the complete opposite for the last couple of decades. We live in a first world country with equality for both sexes, that's written in our law. Yes abusive men exist, yes there's many examples of that in the UK. But you're wrong , as a society , In the UK , men are NOT taught or encouraged to treat women badly. You're reflecting as the above poster says. It's getting tired. It's why that report was needed.

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 17/06/2025 07:22

"Despite reviews, reports and inquiries raising questions about men from Asian or Pakistani backgrounds grooming and sexually exploiting young White girls, the system has consistently failed to fully acknowledge this or collect accurate data so it can be examined effectively. Instead, flawed data is used repeatedly to dismiss claims about ‘Asian grooming gangs’ as sensationalised, biased or untrue."

It's such a relief to see this gaslighting be called out in an official source.

PinkImbrella · 17/06/2025 07:27

The triggernometry team did a good podcast episode on this.

Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ptz5YAYnJG0qRTldzOiRH?si=57JYxS7oS9Sqcm0FG5bOiQ

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 07:28

Absolutely. Although I can understand why many Asian people want precision in the collecting of ethnicity data. Asian is too generic . The perpetrators mainly came from the Pakistani community. It’s not fair on the wider Asian community ( tsome of whom were also victims- eg Sikh girls)

GingerBeverage · 17/06/2025 07:30

Why can’t they infer ethnicity from names? Or find out afterwards? Just because it’s not officially recorded doesn’t mean it’s a mystery.

  • The ethnicity of grooming gangs is "shied away from and is still not recorded for two-thirds of perpetrators", it finds
TranceNation · 17/06/2025 07:31

TildaSwan · 17/06/2025 00:34

I was thinking exactly the same thing. It wouldn't be at all unlikely if she were to resign.

She's just yet another slippery self serving power hungry lying politician.

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 07:34

And the Pakistani community need to internally address this.
Im a Catholic and we were horrified and sickened by the news of child abuse by Catholic priests. Catholic lay people have worked hard to put procedures in place to protect children from it happening again.Many many conversations and discussions have taken place internally. Attitudes have shifted, lay people have become empowered .
This all needs to happen in the Pakistani community. They will be stronger and better for it.

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 07:36

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 17/06/2025 07:22

"Despite reviews, reports and inquiries raising questions about men from Asian or Pakistani backgrounds grooming and sexually exploiting young White girls, the system has consistently failed to fully acknowledge this or collect accurate data so it can be examined effectively. Instead, flawed data is used repeatedly to dismiss claims about ‘Asian grooming gangs’ as sensationalised, biased or untrue."

It's such a relief to see this gaslighting be called out in an official source.

I completely agree. White UK born people have really had tape over their mouths for around 10+years. We need to be able to call out truths where they're seen without having to pretzel ourselves into putting caveats that we aren't racist and we know not all Pakistani men are like that etc. it's a pendulum that's swung way too far. We all must be able to call all people and cultures out when things are going wrong. All voices need to be heard, so long as it's objective, we shouldn't be buying into the tired narrative of "shut up. You're racist" and letting it silence people. It really doesn't take an Einstein amongst us, to realise that people who are able to identify the link with Pakistani men and abuse of white girls in particular, are suddenly going to go round being abusive and spewing hate for black and brown people living and working normally amongst us!!!! It's so childish to assume that.

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 07:54

Figcherry · 17/06/2025 07:48

This surprised me but perhaps it shouldn’t.
I imagine Pakistani girls in the UK are also abused within their community and it’s also covered up.

https://images.dawn.com/news/1193733/worst-place-to-be-a-woman-internet-reacts-as-pakistan-hits-rock-bottom-in-wefs-gender-gap-report

We need some strong Pakistani WOMEN community leaders to call for change in their communities in this country

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 08:11

SquashedMallow · 15/06/2025 11:23

For all the 'racist' throwers, I'll leave this here :

  • Spanish at one time raised complaints over "Brits drunkenness" when visiting their country. It was an observation. And I think a fair one at that.

By your standards : how dare they ? They should include all nationalities? Are they saying a German has never been drunk over there ? Hermann from my hotel in 2012 puked up in the bar ?

Not all Brits go there getting pissed? What about the ones that go there on walking holidays ? They're not getting drunk !

What about the Spanish ? Spanish have AA groups, so they've got alcoholics?

So , the Spanish are completely and utterly xenophobic for pointing out "Brits abroad drunkenness" - it's clearly not a thing and there's clearly no link is there ? No, they should include all nationalities, including their own in their problem with drunken antics.

See ? Doesn't work does it ? It's called whatabouttery

@Fetaface . In case you missed it. You don't have to reply: but do have a read. This is exactly what you're doing here.

OpheliaWasntMad · 17/06/2025 08:15

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 08:11

@Fetaface . In case you missed it. You don't have to reply: but do have a read. This is exactly what you're doing here.

Yes!

OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns · 17/06/2025 08:18

At around 12-15 years old , several of my friends (all poorer white teenage girls) would be driven around at all hours by pakistani men

Slightly off the beaten track, but I’d also like to see an acknowledgement of the role of poverty and class in this.

It’s about culture - humans are a cultural species - and in Britain that means class. Inextricably linked with economics.

Who knew that equality and distribution of wealth and power is important within a society.

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 08:21

OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns · 17/06/2025 08:18

At around 12-15 years old , several of my friends (all poorer white teenage girls) would be driven around at all hours by pakistani men

Slightly off the beaten track, but I’d also like to see an acknowledgement of the role of poverty and class in this.

It’s about culture - humans are a cultural species - and in Britain that means class. Inextricably linked with economics.

Who knew that equality and distribution of wealth and power is important within a society.

To a good extent: I agree.

Bit, you know it also works the other way round : all this 'white privilege ' tired trope. No... It's wealth and class. Poor white boys are not in any way privileged and I don't agree that they're still more privileged in the UK than a poor black boy. It's about time we stopped buying into these tired weaponised theories.

TheNuthatch · 17/06/2025 08:47

OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns · 17/06/2025 08:18

At around 12-15 years old , several of my friends (all poorer white teenage girls) would be driven around at all hours by pakistani men

Slightly off the beaten track, but I’d also like to see an acknowledgement of the role of poverty and class in this.

It’s about culture - humans are a cultural species - and in Britain that means class. Inextricably linked with economics.

Who knew that equality and distribution of wealth and power is important within a society.

Agree to an extent, but that leans into victim blaming for me.

OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns · 17/06/2025 08:58

Not sure how- I have no intention of blaming kids born into Britains inner cities, poverty and a culture that has laughed at them and treated them with contempt for decades. Especially girls.

Class is a complex issue. Who knew (once again) that fairness and rule based culture was important to stop communications utterly failing and social cohesion also utterly failing and collapsing.

Fetaface · 17/06/2025 09:16

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 08:11

@Fetaface . In case you missed it. You don't have to reply: but do have a read. This is exactly what you're doing here.

I've not said anyone is racist. I dont think they are.

You lied in your last post about me assuming things. Now you're assuming I think people are racist. Absolutely not I don't.

Why do you think I think people are racist? I haven't said they cant talk about race. I have done! They can talk about race and many have done. That doesn't make people racist.

The issue is that you dont like me talking about race and want me to stop.

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 17/06/2025 09:16

OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns · 17/06/2025 08:18

At around 12-15 years old , several of my friends (all poorer white teenage girls) would be driven around at all hours by pakistani men

Slightly off the beaten track, but I’d also like to see an acknowledgement of the role of poverty and class in this.

It’s about culture - humans are a cultural species - and in Britain that means class. Inextricably linked with economics.

Who knew that equality and distribution of wealth and power is important within a society.

There is poverty and wealth in every country - and poverty makes you more exposed to risk. It's not because they called their last meal tea or because they didn't know their soup spoons from their dessert spoons which made these girls vulnerable. It is very suspect that you've suggested that England and Wales were vulnerable because of the class system - and not because of the behaviour of the perpetrators.

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 09:16

OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns · 17/06/2025 08:58

Not sure how- I have no intention of blaming kids born into Britains inner cities, poverty and a culture that has laughed at them and treated them with contempt for decades. Especially girls.

Class is a complex issue. Who knew (once again) that fairness and rule based culture was important to stop communications utterly failing and social cohesion also utterly failing and collapsing.

Unfortunately there is no social cohesion. It's not working. You only have to take a look at blackmumsnetters to see that. Black people freely ousting off of threads any white women with respectful contributions. Outwardly spoken desires to live in communities that are 'black' in the UK and an expressed desire for 'black' schools and open criticism of white people. This is the UK, where 86% (roughly) of people are white. Living in communities amongst only 'your own ' is so utterly divisive. And we can't keep blaming actions from decades and centuries ago for people feeling this way. Why are one group of people emboldened to share anti white sentiment (in a majority white country ) whilst white people can't even stick up for themselves. It's swapping of the oppressed and the oppressor.

None of us should be living in groups based solely on skin colour. This isn't apartheid south Africa ? And it's not white people expressing it. Most white people are utterly pretzling themselves to stick up for any tiny perceived 'microaggressions' , falling over themselves to be 'inclusive' meanwhile on the other end : it's perfectly ok to express an open desire to live away from 'white people'

TheNuthatch · 17/06/2025 09:17

OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns · 17/06/2025 08:58

Not sure how- I have no intention of blaming kids born into Britains inner cities, poverty and a culture that has laughed at them and treated them with contempt for decades. Especially girls.

Class is a complex issue. Who knew (once again) that fairness and rule based culture was important to stop communications utterly failing and social cohesion also utterly failing and collapsing.

I agree with all of that, and I wasn't suggesting that you were victim blaming at all. The circumstances of the children involved is obviously important.
It's the culture of the perpetrators that needs addressing more so imo. They are welcomed, defended and protected by their own communities, even after conviction.

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 17/06/2025 09:20

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 17/06/2025 09:16

There is poverty and wealth in every country - and poverty makes you more exposed to risk. It's not because they called their last meal tea or because they didn't know their soup spoons from their dessert spoons which made these girls vulnerable. It is very suspect that you've suggested that England and Wales were vulnerable because of the class system - and not because of the behaviour of the perpetrators.

I do agree that the class system explains the avenue by which police ignored these girls and the cover-ups that followed.

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 09:26

Fetaface · 17/06/2025 09:16

I've not said anyone is racist. I dont think they are.

You lied in your last post about me assuming things. Now you're assuming I think people are racist. Absolutely not I don't.

Why do you think I think people are racist? I haven't said they cant talk about race. I have done! They can talk about race and many have done. That doesn't make people racist.

The issue is that you dont like me talking about race and want me to stop.

Edited

You obviously didn't read the quoted post. It had nothing to do with racism or racist accusing....!?

It was centred around "whatabouttery"

Fetaface · 17/06/2025 09:34

SquashedMallow · 17/06/2025 09:26

You obviously didn't read the quoted post. It had nothing to do with racism or racist accusing....!?

It was centred around "whatabouttery"

First line....for all the racist throwers!

So yes it mentions racism. Forget what you wrote?