DP being horrible towards my DCat

[Yasmin98]

DP and I don’t live with each other but he stays over a couple nights a week.

Recently, he has been making increasingly rude comments about my DCat and when I challenge him he just says ‘she’s a cat, she doesn’t have feelings’.

He really isn’t a pet person which is fine but I would expect him to treat mine with respect.

Has anyone had a similar situation and found a solution? I am reluctant to move him in full time unless his attitude changes.

I agree. There was an upsetting story in the news earlier this week about a man who was violent towards his girlfriend’s cats, and killed two of them, as well as being violent towards her. Despite this, he didn’t get a prison sentence. I can’t find the link now but your posts have reminded me of that story.

Edit: found the story. Some upsetting details, obviously.

, Link to Daily Mail article

I’ve just seen the threats of abuse comments. Get his pathetic sorry backside out of your house and out of your life!!

I personally don’t like people talking badly about pets, even if it’s a joke and the pet can’t understand.

I would expect a partner to respect me enough to listen to me when u say I find something upsetting and to not do it again.

But your DP is taking the comments to the next level and he’s saying these things intentionally to make you feel uncomfortable.

I had an ex who hates cats and I had 2.
Not once did he say anything bad about them because he knew that I would not stand for it and the relationship would be over.

What he’s saying about the cat is disgusting but this is so much more, he is intentionally pushing your boundaries and you absolutely need to push back.

It’s not about respecting your pet it’s about respecting you in your own home. He’s nicest ting you at all and you should pay attention to this as an Indy action if how he would act in future.

Normal people wouldn’t make comments about kicking a cat. He’s entitled to not be fond of cats, but that is extreme. Then there’s also the fact that it’s YOUR cat and he knows you love it, yet he would still say something like that. He isn’t just indifferent to cats, he obviously really dislikes them. That’s a huge incompatibility between you. To be honest, he would be gone from my life immediately if he made a threat like that about my pet. As for the comments about his ex. Nope. Chuck him back in the sea.

Jesus, dump this man, he's a psycho. Don't wait until he actually does something. Get rid of him fast.

Ok this man is a prick.

A weird and revolting prick. How people treat animals is a good indicator of how they will treat other living things.

He wants you to get rid of your cat and he's threatened to abuse it.

This is the reddest of red flags.

That and the remark that you're lazy, WTF. He's cruel and mean and shitty and fucking creepy.

Dump immediately.

I would feel uneasy about leaving the room
with him and the cat alone. Whilst he may not go out of his way to deliberately hurt the cat, I wouldn’t put it past him to boot it away if the cat came near him.

He sounds awful.

He said something last night (which prompted me to post) about DCat reminding him of his ex who he broke up with. Saying that she was lazy too but at least she had her uses in other ways (meaning sexually) which I found really uncomfortable.

Oh, God, instant ick. I just closed up so fast, I think I'm a virgin again. You cannot possibly find this man attractive?

He’s waving a neon red flag in your face, OP. Thank him for the warning and get rid of him.

I had a boyfriend once who didn’t believe that animals have feelings or feel pain the same way humans do. I should have listened and broke up with him sooner instead of later, it’s not a sign of a good person.

I suppose it depends. I say some pretty horrible things about my cats soetimes
sometimes joking, sometimes not.They do have feelings, of course they do-but they don’t understand language. Is he horrible to her physically?

This twat's attitude towards your cat is the least of your problems OP.

Get rid - and I'm not talking about the kitty!

As I said on another thread - cats before twats.
Worrying remarks about the animal reminds me of people who seek to impress by being rude to serving staff; they shore up their self-esteem by negging those they consider beneath them.
If his retort is that the cat doesn't understand language, or have feelings. you should point out that you do, and he is not respecting this.

Obviously the cat doesn’t have feelings about what people say to it, but the point is that you do. Your boyfriend knows you find this upsetting and he’s continuing to do it just to hurt you because he knows you love the cat. He’s jealous of a fucking cat and you need to ditch him.

Yuk.

I wouldn't be looking to move him in, I would be getting rid.

he sounds utterly revolting… please raise your bar and ditch him

This. He is not a good person.

Your update about his ex having her uses is beyond gross.

You and your cat deserve way better.

⬆️ - This! 💯%

Do you know me and my partner? No you don't and with your tone I'm glad you don't know me. There aren't any children in my house and I once called myself fat. Wind your neck in.

Thanks all, I’m going to give him a final warning and will not rush in to moving him in on a more permanent basis.

Ridiculous.

do let us know when you finally break up with him, they’ll be a queue of mumsnetters keen to bag this catch 🙃

Wow, you're still going to stay with this cat hating, misogynistic bastard? What good qualities does he have?

Christ! You must be absolutely desperate