DP being horrible towards my DCat

[Yasmin98]

DP and I don’t live with each other but he stays over a couple nights a week.

Recently, he has been making increasingly rude comments about my DCat and when I challenge him he just says ‘she’s a cat, she doesn’t have feelings’.

He really isn’t a pet person which is fine but I would expect him to treat mine with respect.

Has anyone had a similar situation and found a solution? I am reluctant to move him in full time unless his attitude changes.

Actually he's not your DP is he?!
He's your SP - Sadistic Partner.
There's nothing "darling" about him!
Take your cat and run!

Don’t bother with the ultimatum. If you move him in, he’ll ill-treat your cat when you’re not there. Dump him now.

100% this

Dump. Him

I am not a cat person but even to me that is a LTB.

I dont tolerate any level of put down or harassment of anumals.

Pull the other one.

You knew exactly what she meant.

I’ve read all your posts, OP. Get rid of this man. He’s a massive red flag and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn he’s abusive to his partners as well as animals.

So he speaks in a disgusting way about animals AND other women.

This isn't ultimatum time, this is LTB time.

Nope, I even googled it but just got taken to the Decathlon website!

This is awful.

How you can be with someone who says things like this about a supposed dear cat is beyond my comprehension.

And how you can even be contemplating moving a man in who clearly doesn't like your cat is also unfathomable.

Is your poor cat as dear to you as you say because it doesn't look like it.

I’ve not RTFT but: after a domestic violence event the police ask if the perpetrator has ever been unkind to animals, it’s a good indicator of behaviour.

Ditch him pronto.
You and your cat deserve better.

Ultimatum? Er no OP, he needs to be thrown back. He’s vile.

This is not normal behaviour. And I say this as someone who doesn’t even like cats that much. He’ll have other anger issues, you just haven’t seen them yet. Whatever you do, do not have children with this man.

If you can't see the cruelty running through this man you must be love blind. He sounds nasty and, in my opinion, WILL kick your cat like a football. At least he's being truthful and not hiding what a nasty piece of shit he is. With truth comes choices. Make the right one before your cat gets seriously hurt or rehome your cat if he's moving in... PLEASE

😁 I do find cats really funny - there’s some great YouTube videos. Does your cat do the adrenaline thing?

He’s telling you that he can’t even face competing with a cat for your attention. He’s a vile, insecure little man and you should absolutely not be moving him in, because the next thing will be that he doesn’t like your friends and family, so you can’t see them, and after that he has you isolated and entirely devoted to him and his needs.

He’s testing the water with the cat. You owe it to yourself to chuck him back.

I would fuck him off, sounds very unintelligent, emotionally stunted and generally a not a nice person if he says he will kick a defenceless creature. He would get through my front door.

Well, he's wrong about cats not having feelings. They are sentient beings, they know when someone is being horrible to them and their feelings can be hurt. Also, how someone treats animals is a good indicator of character and is thus a red flag. He could treat others in similar fashion if he sees them as powerless to do anything about his behaviour - as your DCat is (though she might take to passive aggressive tactics such as sitting on his lap, or less passive aggressively, scratching him, in which case good on her, a real feminist standing up to misogynistic abuse).

He's told you who he is. Believe him - and dump him.

Abusive men like your dp start to push boundaries with animals first before they move on to humans. It begins with name calling, then emotional abuse & then finally physical violence. He's testing you to see what he can get away with as it's calculated and part of his personality. Dump him and save yourself and cat future heartache.

How on earth can you find someone attractive / have a relationship with someone who threatens to kick an animal?
You say you don’t think he would but to even say / think it is truly awful.

People who are unkind to animals are unkind to other people too. I am struggling to understand how you haven’t dumped him already! Your poor cat.

OK, I was waiting from the rest of the iceberg to start showing. It's not only about how he treats the cat (as others have said, cruelty against animals is a big sociopath flag and an indicator of how they'd treat children and other vulnerable people) but how he talks about his ex is a bigger red flag imo. I bet that his "ex is a psycho, abusive, lazy,..." 🙄

If he is saying stuff like this in front of you I bet he is doing sneaky spiteful things to the cat when you aren’t there. A bully is a bully is a bully.

Yes I would be worried about leaving him alone with the cat. Definitely LTB

It may be “just a cat” and wouldn’t understand the comments but it’s the principle of the thing. I adore cats and such comments would make me uncomfortable to be around that person. He’s not for you so say cheerio%.