DP being horrible towards my DCat

[Yasmin98]

DP and I don’t live with each other but he stays over a couple nights a week.

Recently, he has been making increasingly rude comments about my DCat and when I challenge him he just says ‘she’s a cat, she doesn’t have feelings’.

He really isn’t a pet person which is fine but I would expect him to treat mine with respect.

Has anyone had a similar situation and found a solution? I am reluctant to move him in full time unless his attitude changes.

Protect your cat and dump this man

If he is making jokes/threats to kick your cat then he is an arse.

I have to say I do call my cat a dckhead and a wnker when he is being one. I adore the little toerag

I forgot to put a smiley to make it clear it was a joke……

He’s showing you who he really is. When I met my now DH I had DCats and he doted on them. Cuddled them, looked after them if I asked. He couldn’t have been more caring.

Quarter of a century on and he’s still the same. Looks after me, the DC and our pets. He showed me who he was, gentle kind and caring.

I’d dump him.

Couldn’t have that. To me it would show a nasty side

Keep the cat
Ditch the loser

as someone else said how people treat animals is a good indicator of their character

‘D’cat 🙄

He sounds horrible. Keep the cat and lose the partner.

They are horrible comments.
I think if he was joking, youd know, but it makes you feel so uncomfortable because hes not completely joking.
I think you know him best though.
I think you should tell him that he needs to quit it with those comments because you dont find it funny, and that its actually giving you the ick. People being unkind to animals is a huge red flag, and you don't even want to hear jokes about it. He needs to accept that she lives here and learn how to look where hes going more.

Then keep a close eye on his attitude

If he cant treat a cat with respect, then hes probably a sociopath/psychopath have you ever watched dont fuck with cats?
id be ending the relationship today.

PLEASE dump and run! Is there anything worse than someone who jokes about abuse in a way that shows their not really joking…

This!

@Yasmin98 the ultimatum he needs is go now and quickly.
He won't change and your cat will be tortured behind your back.

This 100%.

I started feeding two stray cats a couple of years ago because they were skeletal and freezing. DH didn't want me to get too attached as he has had cats before and one disappeared with no resolution back when he was married with kids.

He wanted me to find homes for them once they were healthy but....he now carries them around singing to them and making up stories that he tells to them as if they are children. They get three meals a day plus snacks and he has built them a bed.

This is the mark of him as a person.

As Maya Angelou said so very well, “when someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time”.

He’s not very nice is he op? Do you really want to spend your life with a man who thinks that way about a living creature? One that you love? Would he think the same thing about a toddler who was being annoying if you have children in the future (probably not, but you never know).

I know I couldn’t spend my life with someone that horrible. Even if it was said in jest, it’s still a really nasty thing to say about a little life your DP loves.

It is things like, if DCat gets in my way again I’m going to kick her like a football.

Thats not normal, he’s definitely a sociopath/psychopath who even says that? Fuck the ultimatum. Get rid of him before he starts kicking you around like a football! 🚩

Big red flag. Complete lack of respect for you and your cat.

I wouldn’t stay in a relationship with someone who is disrespectful to animals even if they are “joking”

I don’t think he would actually kick DCat, I know the statement looks extreme written down.

He said something last night (which prompted me to post) about DCat reminding him of his ex who he broke up with. Saying that she was lazy too but at least she had her uses in other ways (meaning sexually) which I found really uncomfortable.

So he's disrespectful of women too. What a prince you have there OP

WTF!!

I'd have kicked him out there and then. He sounds absolutely vile. Anyone who shows even a remote tendency to cruelty to animals is a walking red flag.

Dump and block.

Edited to add -

He said something last night (which prompted me to post) about DCat reminding him of his ex who he broke up with. Saying that she was lazy too but at least she had her uses in other ways (meaning sexually) which I found really uncomfortable.

He's even worse than I thought. If you stay with him, you will live to regret it. Guaranteed.

Sounds like he’s holding on to resentment, pretty weird he’s scapegoating your feline though. Weirdo.

It just gets worse. Sorry but why would someone say that? Its just something you dont say. Youre in denial
here op, hes showing you his true colours if you stay with this man youre going to regret it.

Eeeew. I wonder how useful he feels you are to him? Horrid man. I’d get more cats OP and ditch this man.

I don't think your cat is safe. What would he do to her when you're out of the room?

Jesus. And you're seriously considering staying with him?

If anyone said that about my cat or dog I would never see or speak to them again, never mind consider an intimate relationship.

What a disgusting man.