New neighbour sunbathing in the nude

[ZooHannah]

We moved in to our dream home last month, we have a corner plot with only one direct neighbour who is a (I believe) single man and has always been polite and friendly in our initial conversations.

DH looked out of our bedroom window today to see our neighbour sunbathing completely starkers. He came downstairs to tell me and I couldn’t believe it when I went upstairs and saw for myself.

I want to go round to say something however DH has told me I am being ridiculous and he is on his own property so can go what he wants.

AIBU? I appreciate neighbourly relations but I am absolutely repulsed by this.

This is an old joke.

That could only happen if he were trespassing or had an extraordinarily long penis.

He is in his own garden sunbathing just leave him be. Total non issue. You actually have to go upstairs to see him - just don't look. Hmmm and what exactly is going to happen to the children if they can see a naked human body? (we all have one: milllions of different sizes and shapes). I doubt they will be traumatised or repulsed like you seem to be.

Every time he's out there, wave at him, vigorously 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻

So your DH told you & your rushed up to look???? What a voyeur.

So you're going to encourage your DC into voyeuristic behaviour as well ??? Okaaaay

I hope the OP takes her children up to the bedroom to make sure they get to see the naked man; she might have to get a chair for them to stand on, and then she can go to the police and get him branded as the local paedophile.

He’s probably been sunbathing naked for years without anyone being bothered. Leave him alone and myob.

They do that sort of thing in some European countries all the time, weather permitting.

Yes. He's not the new neighbour. She is.

Everyone who's saying - mind your own business, he's in his own garden and can do as he likes ... it's not that simple, I'm afraid. If his intent is to indecently expose his genitals to other people, then it's a grey area at best, and at worst he's deliberately flashing. Flashers aren't all lurking in wooded areas of local parks, you know.

Of course it's more likely to be 'innocent' and he just likes sunbathing nude, but do at least consider the possibility that he knows damn well his garden is overlooked and he's getting a kick out of that. Or should the OP just exercise 'custody of the eyes' like a nun and not look out of her back windows?

Reminds me of the apologists who tell women and teenage girls 'well you shouldn't be looking then!' if a guy manages to get himself into a female changing area.

I mean, it’s just a body. We all have them. All men have the same anatomy. Try the Scandinavian attitude and don’t give your kids hang-ups about bodies too.

Also - teach your kids about privacy by not looking into his garden where he can do what he wants as long as it isn’t disturbing what you are doing

Roll ‘em out…..

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I mean, clearly all that has to be done in this situation at this point is, the OP puts a polite friendly note through his door saying 'you probably didn't realise but when you sunbathe naked in your garden, you're totally overlooked by our back windows and we and the kids can see you'. A decent guy will move his position to one where he can't be seen from next door. If he doesn't, then I think you know he's a bit of a jerk. Who would continue to do that if he'd been told it was a bit of an issue? That kids were also able to see him?

It is literally the opposite of men exposing themselves in women’s changing rooms.

he is in his own garden sunbathing.

not doing a dance, not calling up to the kids windows. Get your kids out into the fresh air in their garden and they won’t be able to see or hear him.

@ZooHannah totally get where you are coming from. Growing up our neighbours would sunbathe naked, to make matters worse the fence on their boundary was low so we could hardly miss them when outside.

I remember my parents just ignored it as they weren’t disturbing us, would have been a totally different matter if they came up to the fence or pranced around the front garden naked xx

We have a next door neighbour who flagrantly uses his shower completely naked - even though he must know that I can see everything clearly with my heavy-duty military-grade night-vision x-ray binoculars, if I observe him from my own adjacent bathroom with the blind down and lights off, and focus really carefully for 20 minutes or so to train my eyes.

My neighbours are always saying that there's a disgusting sex-obsessed pervert living on our street; I'm outraged that it's actually somebody living in my own little terrace.

Masturbating - not acceptable. Sunbathing - acceptable.

Was he at least hot 😍?
I couldn't get worked up about it. I mean I sit in my garden in my pants with my boobs out so I'd have a cheek really.
Should add, I am not overlooked!

Then the DC would invite their mates over to laugh at the weird bloke next door.

I'm not upset by seeing a penis but if he's comfortable knowing children can see him he's strange.

Maybe his name is William, and he was the original inspiration for the 'My friend Billy' rhyme that was shared far and wide in playgrounds up and down the country.

I quite often wander about in my garden naked (getting changed after the hot tub, popping out to hang up the washing if I'm downstairs naked). I doubt my neighbours look but if they do I hope their spouse doesn't rock up for a second viewing. I wonder if there's ever been a Mumsnet post about me? Almost certainly there wouldn't be a discussion about whether I was a criminal because I have boobs and not a penis.

Being naked isn't shameful or repulsive. Depressing that people think like that

It's not at all the same as female changing areas.

Lots of posts joking about the contortions the OP has to put herself through in order to glimpse his penis - face pressed sideways on the window, craning her neck, standing on a chair etc... She said nothing like this. She just looked through her upstairs window and could see him. Do none of you look through your windows then? Why do you have windows if you don't use them?

No, I agree - a man naked in his back garden ISN'T like men in female changing areas. Do read my post again, and you'll see that I said that the posts saying 'well don't look then' REMIND me of the apologists who say 'well don't look then' to girls and women who get an eyeful of some bloke's todger in the female changing rooms. See the difference?