New neighbour sunbathing in the nude

[ZooHannah]

We moved in to our dream home last month, we have a corner plot with only one direct neighbour who is a (I believe) single man and has always been polite and friendly in our initial conversations.

DH looked out of our bedroom window today to see our neighbour sunbathing completely starkers. He came downstairs to tell me and I couldn’t believe it when I went upstairs and saw for myself.

I want to go round to say something however DH has told me I am being ridiculous and he is on his own property so can go what he wants.

AIBU? I appreciate neighbourly relations but I am absolutely repulsed by this.

She went upstairs to look through the window once her husband informed her that the man was sunbathing naked in his back garden.

It's still an irrelevant comparison.

Go to the window, open it and shout morning I can see your nob !

yes, that's right. I know it's easy to joke about that, as she put herself in the way of catching sight of him. But she just looked out of the window, she didn't have to contort herself. And I'll ask again - how unusual is it for someone to glance out of their upstairs windows? I do it all the time - to check the view, the weather, lost in thought, where's my cat, etc.

Well, it's so clear it does not show if you are downstairs, so for goodness' sake, do not go upstairs and gawk.
he is the same neighbor. I very much doubt that he will be round in the nuddy or posting his knob through the letterbox.

I thought this 😂

Also, I'm certainly no pearl clutcher. I just think he's odd and I think most people I know would.

This, friendly and to the point.

It's the sort of thing DH and I would have a chuckle about and ignore, and yes we have children. Couldn't care less they are not conversing with him when he's in his birthday suit. We're not so precious. I'd leave the well alone, it'll only make things awkward.

😂😂😂

I’m know my neighbour is entitled to be naked in his garden. I also know I would feel uncomfortable seeing him and I think he would not want me to.
We see each other as we go about our days, putting bins out, arriving/leaving home the same time, the odd favour. It’s not usual to see your neighbours naked.

I'm not upset by seeing a penis but if he's comfortable knowing children can see him he's strange.

Let's switch this around: this man has been living in his house, quietly, and enjoying the privacy of his garden. Some people have smoky barbecues, others have screaming children to enjoy their private gardens.

This man is just lying on his grass, naked.

Then @ZooHannah a new neighbour, with children, moves in, and she and her DH start deliberately peering out of their upstairs window to watch him. They then tell him that what he is doing in his PRIVATE garden is offensive to them, when they deliberately look at him out of their window, and also corrupts their DC when they invite their DC to deliberately look at him out of their upstairs window.

Who's the strange one here? Hmmmmmm

I an understand the principle that the neighbour has the right to sunbathe in his own garden, but I would also expect the person to make sure he is not easily visible to his neighbours.

Because there is a fine line between enjoying the sun and being an exhibitionist...

The OP has kids and I can completely understand that she would think twice about this man's intentions. Completely normal.

''@GlomOfNit
I mean, clearly all that has to be done in this situation at this point is, the OP puts a polite friendly note through his door saying 'you probably didn't realise but when you sunbathe naked in your garden, you're totally overlooked by our back windows and we and the kids can see you'. A decent guy will move his position to one where he can't be seen from next door. If he doesn't, then I think you know he's a bit of a jerk. Who would continue to do that if he'd been told it was a bit of an issue? That kids were also able to see him?''

This!

I think this is a sensible approach to it.

As PP has said its not unusual to look out of your windows. I gaze out of mine to look out at my lovely garden. You can't tell the family to not look out of the window between certain hours because Barry next door has got his todger out and we don't want him to think we are looking at him.

Surely from your upstairs window you can barely see his offensive member? Unless you are peering at him with binoculars?

Sounds like he is a naturist

https://www.bn.org.uk/aboutnaturism/

To be fair unless it's massive you probably couldn't.

Grow a tree/shrub to shield your view.
A friend of mine had a problem with her neighbours naked in the hot tub right next to her boundary. She planted a shrub which eventually blocked the view. Then the neighbours complained that their sun was being blocked by the shrub to which my friend said she wanted privacy. Very soon the shrub died and my friend suspected that the neighbours had poisoned it. The neighbours asked my friend to take down the dead shrub and my friend replied that she was going to use it as a frame for ivy.

Would you or you husband care just as much if your neighbour was a single woman who was sunbathing topless?

If it upsets you that much, just don't look.

Or maybe he still thinks the pandemic is a thing when clothes were deemed not essential? 🤔🤔😂😂

I can very, very clearly see pretty much the whole of my NDN's back garden from our back window. I don't think that's at all unusual for a terrace house.

Me: what would you think about Nigel sunbathing naked in his garden?
DS(16): Errrr, no

He'd see him as soon as he drew his blind in the morning.

It would have to be quite the shrub to block the view from an upstairs window!

I often look out at my garden (not usually from my bedroom) but not into my NDN's other than the occasional odd glance. If they were regularly peering into mine, I might feel a tad uncomfortable

It's his garden on his property. You can do as you choose on yours as he can on his.

Because it’s not black and white. Some fences aren’t full panels and have gaps between so having a fence doesn’t mean no one can see.

As for the expectation of privacy, in this situation, if you have neighbours and any of their windows overlook your garden then it’s not completely private is it? You know that people could see you yet still chose to be naked.

Can’t you understand that some weirdos will actually get a kick out of exposing themselves like that?

I don't have blinkers on to look out of my windows. If I was naked in my garden and I saw my neighbour looking out of their window I certainly wouldn't be thinking that they were the weird ones.

What you can very, very clearly see a man's penis when he is lying down in the next garden @rosemarble? And I'm sure your 16 yo DS has seen worse

Why have Mumsnet taken away the " laugh" response?
You really made me laugh, thank you.