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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New neighbour sunbathing in the nude

827 replies

ZooHannah · 13/06/2025 22:26

We moved in to our dream home last month, we have a corner plot with only one direct neighbour who is a (I believe) single man and has always been polite and friendly in our initial conversations.

DH looked out of our bedroom window today to see our neighbour sunbathing completely starkers. He came downstairs to tell me and I couldn’t believe it when I went upstairs and saw for myself.

I want to go round to say something however DH has told me I am being ridiculous and he is on his own property so can go what he wants.

AIBU? I appreciate neighbourly relations but I am absolutely repulsed by this.

OP posts:
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DancefloorAcrobatics · 14/06/2025 05:40

@ZooHannah Is he fit and worth looking at or more of a shrivelled eyesore?

DBSFstupid · 14/06/2025 05:42

JabbaTheBeachHut · 13/06/2025 22:33

Oh it's time for this thread again?

Every. Single. Summer 🤣🏖

😂

mossymud · 14/06/2025 05:42

I can be a bit of a shock when you unexpectedly see a naked body, especially a willy (thinking about when I was once confronted with a completely naked man somewhere I went every day) but if you get used to it - next week is supposed to be hot too 🙂 - the shock factor will go and it’s a good thing to get used to the sight of something that’s essentially completely natural - children included.

merrymelody · 14/06/2025 05:58

Nudity isn’t a perversion. Live and let live, I say.

Notsosure1 · 14/06/2025 06:04

snackatack · 13/06/2025 22:52

could you put frosted screen up so you can't see - or blinds - ikea do very cheap ones - that give us privacy I thought they'd make rooms darker but they actually make the rooms lighter.

I was going to suggest the frosted film - that’s the most sensible solution. You need to stop him being on view to your kids who have every right to look out of their own home’s windows - even if they weren’t deliberately looking into his garden - your eye is naturally drawn to movement or an unfamiliar shape being somewhere and they’d then see him.

Complicated bc he has rights to privacy and to do what he wants within reason in his garden, you and your family have the right to be upstairs without the risk or likelihood of seeing an adult naked man.

The question is whose responsibility is it?

It’s difficult bc it’s his garden and if there’s nowhere else for him to be outside naked and away from the public gaze then he should be able to do it there in privacy. Except it isn’t completely away from the public gaze bc you can see him. Do any other neighbours overlook his garden? Would he be able to realise you can see him?

Also, what’s he like generally? Do you ever talk to him? Is his demeanour such that you think he’s fairly arrogant and entitled and would do it regardless of whether you and your kids can see him, or would he be mortified? Hard to judge unless you bring it up. You don’t want to cause any issues but it definitely needs to be addressed.

Maybe mention in passing what you are planning to do with your garden and say you can’t help but notice his decking/ garden furniture/ begonias from your window - where did he get them from? etc. something where he tends to settle himself so he’s aware he would also be visible. It would highlight your viewpoint but would avoid the embarrassment of telling him you’ve seen him naked, to both parties.

People have a right to relevant privacy, but it is relevant. If he’s aware he’s visible he shouldn’t be naked, especially in front of children - you’re not allowed to have sex in your garden if you are in view of others - it’s to do with outraging public decency or something.

Failing that, put up the privacy film. It will let in the light and protect your children.

Soontobe60 · 14/06/2025 06:09

For those of you saying he’s doing nothing wrong, in fact he could be doing ‘something wrong’.
The law here on exposing oneself in one’s own garden hinges on intent. If it can be shown that he knows children can see him from their window, that could be enough for a charge of indecent exposure.
https://www.tylerhoffman.co.uk/blog/can-you-be-charged-indecent-exposure-your-own-home#:~:text=People%20are%20perfectly%20entitled%20to,lies%20in%20intent%20and%20impact.

pinkstripeycat · 14/06/2025 06:11

The law. 'Being naked in your garden is not an illegal act in itself, but it can become illegal if it is done in a way that causes offence or upset to your neighbours, or if you repeatedly or intentionally expose yourself to others.

That said, it wouldn’t bother me. My kids would laugh. It’s just a body.

GreyCarpet · 14/06/2025 06:12

Haven't rtft but your husband told you there was a naked man in his own garden, you chose to go and look and were then offended that you'd seen a naked man in his own garden?

FFS.

Boredlass · 14/06/2025 06:12

I’d laugh and move on with my day. It’s only a body. Nothing to be repulsed about

Soontobe60 · 14/06/2025 06:12

SleepingStandingUp · 13/06/2025 23:49

How high is the fence? If it's 6 ft then it's reasonable to assume he's sunbathing in privacy. I don't peer over the neighbours fences and I don't go staring out my bedroom window into their gardens. Common decency.

I can guarantee that you have never not looked out of a bedroom window into a neighbours garden - to be able to only direct your eyesight towards a narrow field of vision and automatically blank out what’s either side would be nigh on impossible!

Soontobe60 · 14/06/2025 06:15

pinkstripeycat · 14/06/2025 06:11

The law. 'Being naked in your garden is not an illegal act in itself, but it can become illegal if it is done in a way that causes offence or upset to your neighbours, or if you repeatedly or intentionally expose yourself to others.

That said, it wouldn’t bother me. My kids would laugh. It’s just a body.

What if the naked sunbathing person was doing so knowing full well that others, including children, could see him and that was his kink? Because that’s a real possibility.

Loveduppenguin · 14/06/2025 06:16

steff13 · 13/06/2025 23:44

Maybe he walks around in a shirt and nothing on the bottom, like Donald Duck.

funnily enough I read that as “Donald Dick” 🤣🤣🤣

4forksache · 14/06/2025 06:16

I’m surprised at these reactions tbh.

Nudity doesn’t bother me at home or on tv etc but there is something odd about it when he knows he’s overlooked by kids.

It’s probably innocent- but he might be getting a cheap thrill too. I’m not sure I’d like it with kids in the house because you never know…

Springtimehere · 14/06/2025 06:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ShesTheAlbatross · 14/06/2025 06:17

JabbaTheBeachHut · 13/06/2025 22:38

Have you considered using him as a novelty sundial?

😂😂😂

Wilfrida1 · 14/06/2025 06:33

AllFours · 13/06/2025 22:27

Don’t look 🤷‍♀️

You forgot to add 'Ethel' .....

Inthebleakmidwinter1 · 14/06/2025 06:38

I think the fact he must know he is very visible from your house makes it icky.

GoldMoon · 14/06/2025 06:45

Put a higher fence up , deter your kids from looking out of upstairs window ( hopefully it's your bedroom ) problem sorted .

PlayDoh135 · 14/06/2025 06:48

I envy him so much that he is able to do this.

ChocolateGanache · 14/06/2025 06:51

InterestedDad37 · 13/06/2025 23:45

Invite him round for a BBQ - ask him to bring some chipolatas 🙈

🤣

Purplepepsi · 14/06/2025 06:55

Our old next door but one neighbours were naturists but we didn't realise as they grew up massive trees and hedges around the garden. Maybe you can plant some trees along your boundary?

Zanatdy · 14/06/2025 06:55

Repulsed? Don’t look, you were warned but looked anyway and was then repulsed. It’s his garden, he can do what he likes.

HelpMeGetThrough · 14/06/2025 06:56

just post on the street WhatsApp group (every street has one on here) “Dave at no 47 is in his back garden with his cock and bollocks out”

See what replies you get.

Xenia · 14/06/2025 07:04

If you don't intend to cause harm or distress in England then the neighbour should be find. My new neighbours (they have not moved in yet) have scaffolding up and I think their builders can probably see me sunbathing (I do always keep my knickers on) but I have not asked if they can. I was brought up that the human body was fine.
It can be interesting here in London where new cultures become the majority (such as where I live) and those cultures from abroad do not have the same free and easy views but I will cross the bridge when I come to it. If you are th eonly woman with a sleeveless top and that causes offence because everyone else is fully covered we get into some very difficult waters as English law is very weird on this issue - sometimes the impact of something you might do in a park is based on the people who will see the action, not the action itself which has never felt right to me - that a breach of the peace might occur because you happen to be with person group A whereas if person group B were the people present you would not but doing the identical act.

ememem84 · 14/06/2025 07:05

Would you feel the same about it if it was a woman sunbathing naked?