New neighbour sunbathing in the nude

[ZooHannah]

We moved in to our dream home last month, we have a corner plot with only one direct neighbour who is a (I believe) single man and has always been polite and friendly in our initial conversations.

DH looked out of our bedroom window today to see our neighbour sunbathing completely starkers. He came downstairs to tell me and I couldn’t believe it when I went upstairs and saw for myself.

I want to go round to say something however DH has told me I am being ridiculous and he is on his own property so can go what he wants.

AIBU? I appreciate neighbourly relations but I am absolutely repulsed by this.

I highly doubt many men would complain if there was a naked woman in their garden that was overlooked!

Maybe if the neighbour was so “distressed” she shouldn’t have hot-footed it upstairs to find a window she could watch him out of. I give up, you’re absolutely determined that he must be a dirty pervert. And who knows, you might be right. But most people aren’t, so it’s just as likely that he simply hadn’t considered someone might be watching him out of an upstairs window in the middle of the day.

She probably thought her DH was taking the piss so she went to check, as it’s not something the average person does because they are self aware and know how it could be perceived

Omg some people get very irate on here!

But women would, so no difference is there?

Well you said it. If a woman was completely naked I would think that was inappropriate as well yes.

That reminds me of a recent 'four in a bed' repeat.

One of the B&Bers complained that her husband would have to stand in the window in his pjs to pour a cup of tea in the morning because the tray was behind the curtains.

And if someone took a photo and posted it online, whose fault would it be when she discovered it?

Come to that, if OP takes a photo and put it online, could she be prosecuted, always supposing she didn't say who she was, or used a fig leaf - or tea leaf, whatever was needed?

I can understand your concerns. I had to call the police on my neighbour for nudity in his garden, he was quite an aggressive, angry man and every time he had a drink he would swing his thing around while looking at our house, most of the time he would be urinating. If my neighbour was just sunbathing nude then I would shut the curtains, no harm done. The human body is nothing to be ashamed of.

Have you Googled it?

Wanger - 😂😂😂

Repulsed?! Oh FFS, get a grip 🤦🏼‍♀️

Your friend is wrong to assume anything.

On the facts presented he's doing nothing unlawful.

Whether you, or they, like that or not.

Body shaming is immature too, and more offensive than what the bloke is doing in his own property.

Well, you could look up the police guidance on the internet, find the same source (which is clearly legitimate from its URL) and look up the facts for yourself instead of guessing.

I once met a young man who'd lived next door to the stunningly beautiful young Britt Ekland who was a keen sunbather "I spent a lot of time up a tree".

There is a lot on here about it causing distress and that is what makes it illegal but sometimes people need to look within to understand their own distress instead of putting the responsibility on other people.

i am afraid of dogs and tend to constantly be in fear that they are out of control and going to hurt me, who is responsible for my distress in these circumstances myself or the owners?

i would say I am responsible.

@Wolfpa Exactly! If OP is distressed and finds the sight of a naked man 'repulsive', she should maybe think about whether her own reaction is normal or reasonable.

There has been so much on here about what is and what is not legal and a lot of assumptions which were not stated by the OP.

Neither Mumsnet, lawyers nor the police can interpret the law. Interpretation of the law is a matter for the courts. Such interpretation must be reasonable.

But an individual claiming “distress” in itself does not make an act unlawful as clearly set out by @Wolfpa a little up thread.

To add, both my late parents were naturists, they were neither perverts or exhibitionists. I am one of 2 sisters, who grew up with a far more balanced and constructive view about bodies than some of the “call police” views here.

OP, you, your husband and your children need to not be peeping toms. You don't have to go and look at him, so don't.

I think a lot depends on the intent of the sunbather, which we don't know unless we know him. For example, it could be perfectly innocent ( not realising that he is causing upset), or it could be that it is exhibitionism. My only experience of this aligned with the latter. There were a lot more sinister things going on with the naked sunbather.

Why am I a comedian but you’re not?

Well you should read it, including the OP.
we have a guy who conducts his daily life here in town in the nude. Come rain or shine or snow, no one complains, people just accept it.
Christ I’d rather that than what I have. Weed smells wafting strongly into my garden, people with dogs attacking each other in their back yard, then get hit because they’re attacking each other and consequently I hear bad yelping, (yes they have been reported several times, not by me, I’ve only just moved in), but nothing is ever done and morons who think you can’t mow the lawn because they’re attacking each have to sleep before a night shift. Nude..get over it people.

Absolutely this.

What would happen if any DC mentioned this at school? Would they be ridiculed? Or someone misguided think there's a safeguarding issue?

I doubt children would be harmed by this and probably the man just prefers to sunbathe this way. Talk to him, he may be OK with agreeing to avoid certain times.

You need to stop window twitching and mind your own business. He’s in his garden . Not like he’s out on the front lawn.