New neighbour sunbathing in the nude

[ZooHannah]

We moved in to our dream home last month, we have a corner plot with only one direct neighbour who is a (I believe) single man and has always been polite and friendly in our initial conversations.

DH looked out of our bedroom window today to see our neighbour sunbathing completely starkers. He came downstairs to tell me and I couldn’t believe it when I went upstairs and saw for myself.

I want to go round to say something however DH has told me I am being ridiculous and he is on his own property so can go what he wants.

AIBU? I appreciate neighbourly relations but I am absolutely repulsed by this.

Exactly we don’t know but if they were young then it’s problematic

Dominance? 🤣

A former neighbour of mine used to sunbathe topless -[ thing tiny Victorian terraced back garden separated by 2 foot high walls.

We also worked in the same office.

I used to make a noise if I went into the garden and she was there so she knew I was there and that was it.

Given my age if it happened now I may have to discuss it with my GP

Still no.

Only if that distress is considered reasonable.

If he's taken up naked pole dancing in his back yard, which is in full view of all the windows and garden of the neighbours property... then yeah, perhaps.

Simply sunbathing when he can only be seen if people actively go and look - no.

The OP lost any ability to claim 'this sight was distressing' when she went to look on purpose, having already been told the neighbour was naked. She had no need to look and if she knew the sight of a naked stranger would distress her, she would not have looked.

I wonder what all these parents that are so concerned about their child (we don’t know what age) do if they accidentally seen them or their spouse naked? I’m sure they must have happened at some point in their lives

I’m assuming if they are young then surely they will be in school throughout the day? Have activities on weekends? Op said today, which was Friday so kids not in school or in bed when he did that?

Exactly - being told you are causing distress to your neighbours with your genitals out, is enough to say you intend to cause distress if you chose to continuing it.

If he’s not pleasuring himself, it’s only your bedroom window you can view him from and he’s made every effort to make his garden “private” and you can’t see him from your garden leave it. Or you could bring a bottle of sunscreen round and join him 😂 We live in England, there’s only so many days you can comfortably be naked outside. Close your curtains or get privacy film. Some people don’t like the feel of clothing, my autistic son who was 4 was a NIGHTMARE during lockdown for being naked around the house. I made his wear trunks outside though, but more for his protection than others.

No one's making you look at him!

No it isn’t. It’s not pandering to idiotic neighbours who have to go upstairs intentionally to see whatever they decide is distressing them.

No, if you know you are overlooked and have been told it’s causing them distress, the law won’t take kindly to you continuously doing it

It won’t do a thing because it’s not illegal.

Get on with yr own life and leave him be. As long as he's not erect waving it around, he's entitled to do what he wants in his own garden.

I missed where he has been told it causes distress. When did that happen ?

Have you actually read this yet?

https://library.college.police.uk/docs/college-of-policing/C849IO118-public-nudity-aid-revised.pdf

He's not outside school he's in his own garden. If you had to make a special trip upstairs to gawp at him then your kids are not going to see him if they are in your garden.
An opportunity for you to teach your kids to respect others private property.

But he hasn't been told he's causing distress has he ?

Yes it is problematic. You might find it completely normal but guess what, not everyone else does and neither should they have to put up with weirdos who don’t adhere to social norms

So much exaggeration going on in this thread. Multiple posters claiming he’s broken the law because he kept doing it after being told he was causing distress - when it’s clear from OP’s post that it’s only just happened and he doesn’t even know he was seen. Similarly people keep talking about little children seeing a naked man from their bedroom window when their bedroom was never mentioned by OP and nor was their age.

Your posts are causing me distress. Are you going to stop posting?

Well, why would we expect people to actually read the posts ?

Much more fun to make it up and be Drama Llamas 😉

I miss the laugh reaction now

Yes they would do something. It’s not illegal for a dog to bark in its garden. It can bark all day and all night long and if no one complains there is no issue, but if someone complains, it will be treated as a statuary nuisance and the owners could be breaking the law. Same applies here. Once someone complains it becomes an issue

Coincidentally I just saw this:

(how do I attach a bloody picture?)

No I’m not clicking on a link from a random on the internet- no offence