New neighbour sunbathing in the nude

[ZooHannah]

We moved in to our dream home last month, we have a corner plot with only one direct neighbour who is a (I believe) single man and has always been polite and friendly in our initial conversations.

DH looked out of our bedroom window today to see our neighbour sunbathing completely starkers. He came downstairs to tell me and I couldn’t believe it when I went upstairs and saw for myself.

I want to go round to say something however DH has told me I am being ridiculous and he is on his own property so can go what he wants.

AIBU? I appreciate neighbourly relations but I am absolutely repulsed by this.

Better to protect children than be naive

Which isn’t completely private

No it doesn’t. Kids aren’t stupid. They know the next door neighbour can do things they can’t because he’s an adult. Presumably he drives a car, that doesn’t make mockery of the fact they can’t.

Protect them from what? Seeing naked humans? Oh, the horror! 😂

It would be if it was my neighbour, I’d be in the phone to the police. If someone has been told to stop and they continue then it will be purposely causing upset and then the law will be broken

The law doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t change just because someone is upset.

He is breaking the law.

He could be actually inside his house but if he is purposely exposing his genitals at say a window, he would still be committing a crime.

https://www.tylerhoffman.co.uk/blog/can-you-be-charged-indecent-exposure-your-own-home#:~:text=This%20is%20why%20exposing%20one's,reaction%20meet%20the%20legal%20test

If you phoned the police, you would receive the response described here: https://library.college.police.uk/docs/college-of-policing/C849IO118-public-nudity-aid-revised.pdf

It would if he continued to do it when he’s told it’s causing alarm and distress.

Thats a really poor comparison and I think you know it. Comparing them not being able to drive a car to their parents and teachers trying to use language to try to protect them. Deary me

It wouldn’t. The law is immutable, it doesn’t respond to emotion. Being naked in you own garden is not illegal however upset someone else gets about it.

So... nothing that can't be mitigated by sensible parenting:

'Yes, Mr Nextdoor sometimes wears no clothes in his own garden. It is rude to stare'.

The neighbour wearing no clothes in his own garden is not parading about in public,he can only be seen if people actively go looking (and I note OP has not actually given detail as to which upstairs window overlooks his garden!), he, quite importantly, is not committing any offence whatsoever.

If you're going down the route of 'well he might be having disgusting thoughts' - stop right there - we do not have the 'thought police' yet, nor should we. That's a slippery slope you do not want to exist in this world.

I grew up seeing naked bodies in the places one might reasonably expect to see naked bodies - changing rooms/changing out of sports wear outdoors, when swimming outdoors,on beaches.

I was taught it is rude to stare or comment. It did not confuse me in the slightest as to who was allowed to see me naked or touch me or anything like that. It was still very clear that my body was mine, was private, and where/when/how nudity would or would not be appropriate.

I’m shocked that you find parents wanting to protect their children from
potential abuse funny? Didn’t you make the link? We tell them to keep things private for that reason.

Poor form joking about it

Much ado about nothing. The days you can sun yourself out in this country is not many. We once had neighbours who were nudists and it just gave my kids the giggles 🤷🏻‍♀️

What abuse? There is nothing abusive about someone, male or female, exercising their legal right to go unclothed on their own property. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Op never said the ages of her children. They could be late teens/adults for all we know. Hardly think little Evie who is 19 is going to be affected by it.

I think you’ll find it’s very different if they know children can see them with nothing on

Meh. It’s only hot enough for this in the UK 20 days a year, so it’s really not going to be something that you have to deal with that much. Also, maybe I’ve just seen the wrong men naked, but none of the guys that I’ve seen nude would have had much that you could have seen from that distance!

That link does not back you up the way you think it does.

"While often confused, indecent exposure and public nudity are not the same in the eyes of the law. The former is a criminal offence, while the latter is not automatically illegal.
People are perfectly entitled to be nude in their own homes, and in some cases, even in public spaces - provided their behaviour is not intended to cause alarm or distress. The distinction lies in intent and impact. Indecent exposure specifically involves intentionally exposing your genitals with the aim of being seen and causing alarm or distress. Without this intent, nudity alone does not usually amount to an offence.
This means that someone sunbathing nude in their garden or walking in a naturist area is unlikely to face criminal charges - unless their actions are shown to go beyond simple nudity and meet the legal threshold for indecent exposure or another offence, such as causing harassment, alarm or distress."

Nothing about what the OP describes suggests the neighbour has any intent to indecently expose himself to others or cause distress.

If you’re doing it when you’ve been told it’s causing distress, then you’re actively wanting to shock etc it would be taken seriously

😂

It’s not the response that makes it illegal, it’s the intent.

There is something wrong with it if you’ve been told it’s causing distress and you continue to do it

Unless you spend your day looking out of your bedroom window, I suggest you leave the man be. It's in his own garden. I can't believe this is actually post worthy.

so a man or women cannot be naked in their garden incase their peeping neighbour spys them.

But we have the big naked bike ride, we have nudest beaches and we have the shock and horror which I believe is worse than anyone sun bathing naked. Parents!! PARENTS letting their children and toddlers be naked on beaches… exposing their bodies to all sorts or people in full public view. Now that should be a crime. Protect your children by not exposing them rather than worry they might see a Willy or some boobies just laying doing nothing.