New neighbour sunbathing in the nude

[ZooHannah]

We moved in to our dream home last month, we have a corner plot with only one direct neighbour who is a (I believe) single man and has always been polite and friendly in our initial conversations.

DH looked out of our bedroom window today to see our neighbour sunbathing completely starkers. He came downstairs to tell me and I couldn’t believe it when I went upstairs and saw for myself.

I want to go round to say something however DH has told me I am being ridiculous and he is on his own property so can go what he wants.

AIBU? I appreciate neighbourly relations but I am absolutely repulsed by this.

Easy solution don't stand at your upstairs window

Add onto the letter we can see you naked when we deliberately stand upstairs looking out of our window into your garden

You seem to have a rather shaky grasp of the law. It’s summarised here: https://library.college.police.uk/docs/college-of-policing/C849IO118-public-nudity-aid-revised.pdf

As for “future serious sex offender”, you need to get a grip.

And I am pushing back against the insane assumption from lots of seemingly incredibly naive people on this board that this man (doing something that the vast majority of men do not do) is not intending to commit the sexual offence of exhibitionism.

Fuck off with this scaremongering escalation

It isn't illegal if the intention isn't to cause alarm or distress. Laying in the garden doing nothing but sunbathing isn't intentionally causing alarm or distress.

And people with kinks aren't all sex offenders

You really must be terrified of life

Being naked in your garden makes you a potential sex offender?? Tell that to all the naturists in the world. and I don't think 'I find it repulsive' would be enough 'distress'. If he saw her looking and waved his dick at her maybe. Surely just don't look, I find it odd peering into someone else's garden out of an upstairs window, you might vaguely look in that direction, but full on staring is odd. If the OP was in a teeny weeny bikini and he was staring out of his upstairs window I don't think she would be best pleased.

A whole thread dedicated to a unknown single man sun bathing in his own garden.
He dont even know that hes been body shamed called names accused by strangers online.
And all he has done is sit in his own garden.
Not just you op but a lot on this thread should look at themself and the comments you have made.
What has the world come to.

No this isn’t true.
Its not by definition illegal because it caused OP distress. It needs to be intentional on his part to be unlawful, so it would need to be
a) he intended to be seen
&
b) he intended to cause distress

I would rather scaremonger deeply unusual paraphilia adjacent (at best) behaviour and protect my kids than simply assume the bloke with his cock out has no bad intent.

Oh go and have a lie down and a nice cup of tea @JamieCannister. I think you might be a bit poorly.

No you just have an issue with men

There will be plenty of men who sunbath naked
Others who don't because of small minded people like you but would like to just for comfort and not for any other reason

He's just laying in his garden, sunbathing. That's all.

• A bloke simply existing in his garden

Your kids will have unreasonable paranoia with this attitude

I would LOVE to sunbathe naked. Love it.

My garden isn’t even overlooked and I still don’t because of the risk someone will think I’m so kind of perv. Well actually I’m a woman so some kind of show off/exhibitionist/husband stealer

Well, I guess he might get sunburn on some delicate parts!

So true its shameful half the comments are barking mad.

No he wouldnt actually, its not against the law to be naked in your garden as long as the garden is not visiable from public spaces or causing harrassement. The police will ask him to refrain from it during school hours but cant enforce it, if its a regular occurance it will get escalated. Stop being a perv and spying on your neighbour from your windows, commenting on peoples bodies is just downright rude. What was you husband doing watching the neighbour in the first place, thats just weird and then you running to get an eye full. I'm glad your not my neighbour. The man was in his safe space unaware he was being gawped at like a zoo animal. Unless your kids bedroom windows overlooks his garden and they are actively looking in his garden how will they know he's naked if he has a fence high enough you can't see in from ground level ?

Yes, but he's not at the school so it's a completely different situation. FFS.

The law does also look at what is reasonable - look up 'reasonable person test' or 'reasonable man - UK law'...

Because yes, the OP might genuinely be distressed - though any court, on hearing she was told the neighbour was naked and her response was to go and look for herself would find that doubtful - but is that distress reasonable.

In this case, given the neighbour is in his own garden, sunbathing, not, standing on a podium with flashing lights and disco tunes, helicoptering his cock whilst screaming LOOK AT ME BITCHES... they're really not going to find it reasonable to be distressed by this.

Otherwise we could all claim we were distressed or felt threatened by any number of perfectly reasonable actions/behaviours of other people. eg:

'I am distressed by the OP's posts - she's therefore a criminal, lock her up'.

Or:

'My new neighbour who I have no prior history with, knocked on my door today and I refused to answer it, I felt threatened and distressed - lock them up'...

Not reasonable is it. Even if those feelings of distress/threat are real for the person experiencing them!

Reminds me on Ian Pollard the Naked Gardener. He often only used to wear wellies. No-one cared, he wasn't arrested, thousands of people visited his garden. He just liked being naked in the fresh air. Lovely.

You’re friend’s as batshit as you are. They’re not at school and he’s in his own garden.

Or, he might be hunted down and killed by @JamieCannister’s mob, on the basis that he’s paedophile adjacent.

I was taught it was rude to stare at people in their gardens, I suggest teaching your children the same. Or get a shade sail and position it carefully.

Body shaming someone because things aren't going your way. Cute.

Wow! You’re a nasty piece of work aren’t you?

IF. That big little word.