New neighbour sunbathing in the nude

[ZooHannah]

We moved in to our dream home last month, we have a corner plot with only one direct neighbour who is a (I believe) single man and has always been polite and friendly in our initial conversations.

DH looked out of our bedroom window today to see our neighbour sunbathing completely starkers. He came downstairs to tell me and I couldn’t believe it when I went upstairs and saw for myself.

I want to go round to say something however DH has told me I am being ridiculous and he is on his own property so can go what he wants.

AIBU? I appreciate neighbourly relations but I am absolutely repulsed by this.

I would hate this. It would make me feel very uncomfortable. You should be able to live in your own house without having to avert your, or your children’s, eyes to avoid looking at some bloke’s grim genitalia. YANBU.

Op…..how old are your children??

Except it is true that you can sunbathe nude in your own garden.

Is he fit?

In Europe there's loads of nude space, spas, saunas etc, it's just a human body, its not inherently sexual/inappropriate. If he was doing anything sexual or touching himself/his wife then it's definitely not ok, but he's just lying there, I don't see why it's inappropriate for children to see to be honest. It's a body. A few years ago they were drinking milk from boobs and before that they popped out a vagina - a body is just a body, it shouldn't offend or alarm anyone at all. I personally find those fleeces with wolves on that my neighbour wears significantly more offensive than a naked body.
If it really bothers you just pop some screening on top of your fence, I can understand if everytime you are in the garden he is right there nude and you dont want to see, but I think if you're pressing your face up against the window to see, that's probably a You issue not a Him issue.

Teach your kids not to stare out of the upstairs window into their neighbours garden.

Why are they "grim" genitalia? Men, and women, sunbathing nude in the privacy of their own property are not doing anything wrong.

Given it is rarely hot enough in the UK to sunbathe naked, I wouldn't worry too much tbh.

If you can see it from an upstairs window he must have a big one. He is doing nothing wrong. Being naked is not a sexual act in itself.

As l said upthread l sunbathe topless in my garden. I’m waiting to be the star of the next AIBU 🥹.

If someone told me that something I'd find repulsive could be seen from one of my windows, going upstairs to have a look at it is the last thing I'd do.

Do you often have trouble with taking things too literally? Also what is going on with you that you jumped straight there?

Obviously pedophilia is immoral and illegal no matter where it happens. Being naked is neither, it is perfectly legal to walk around in public naked unless you intend to upset or alarm.

The guy wasn't wanking or flashing he was using his own private space.

That was my thought and what I would do. You can get frosted film.

She could just not go upstairs and look through that specific window. Who knew it could be so easy? Equally you should be able to lie in your own garden without being harassed by unreasonable neighbours.

I’m not sure what the problem is, if he is nude but otherwise not doing anything inappropriate, it’s just a naked body? If he’s masturbating, having sex, or trying to catch the attention of your family, that’s an entirely different issue. Otherwise, it’s just a penis and he’s entitled to be nude in his own home and garden.

I think I agree with the law on this. If there was any element of this that was to do with the guy getting a sexual kick out of exposing himself then that’s not ok but if he just wants to top up his tan in the relative privacy of his own garden then it’s ok.
i have more of an issue with people (women 💁🏻‍♀️)who wear clothes that mean their arses are fully on display. Sunbathing in a thong on the beach feels ok but some of those extremely short shorts parading around the shops seem a bit much. I’m sure if a male were to wear similar shorts there would be raised eyebrows.
Things like this are always tricky to judge but I think it’s ok in this situation. Maybe??

YABU
He’s in his own garden. If you don’t want to see then don’t look.
I really don’t know why you are ‘repulsed’ by this it seems a massive overreaction.

🤣🤣🤣

I used to have a naked neighbour - she looked like a Valkyrie and swore like a trucker - she was awesome.

had I actually wanted to see her nude I’d have had to do what you did and try and find an upstairs window with the right angle. That doesn’t sound right does it?!

this is totally a you problem

Kids would giggle and laugh.

It's only adults that get their knickers in a twist about such things.

Oh do get over yourself 🙄

Exactly, it’s the OP who isn’t minding her own business by going upstairs specifically to look down at him through an upstairs window! 🙄

All the ‘what about the children’ posts’

i asked op how old her kids are…. No reply…but if they are young then how would they even be tall enough to look out of upstairs windows anyway??

What is the legal definition of indecent exposure?
Indecent exposure is known simply as 'exposure' in English and Welsh law. The legal definition of exposure in England and Wales is when someone deliberately shows their genitals in order to cause another person alarm or distress.
The Sexual Offences Act 2003 says that someone commits the offence of exposure if all of the following happens:
They intentionally expose their genitals, and
They intend that someone will see them and be caused alarm or distress.
This includes if:
No one actually saw their exposed genitals.
Another person saw their exposed genitals, but wasn't alarmed or distressed.
Someone who commits exposure can be sentenced for up to two years in prison

If the neighbour is informed that his exposure is alarming or distressing to someone and he continues to do it, then it could be classed as indecent exposure. Those of you dismissing what could be a potential sex offence need to do some research.
rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/types-of-sexual-violence/what-is-indecent-exposure-or-flashing/

Couldn’t he have reasonably assumed the kids were at school? If they’re teens, then he’s going to be sniggered at. A lot.

The “what ifs” on this thread are great. There is no school, he’s not in his front yard, there are no double decker buses.

Plus, it’s the UK. It’ll be pissing down again soon.

Although, you may have the same issue I have whereby my neighbour floats nude in his unscreened hot tub on Christmas Day. That is a different way to celebrate the Christ Child’s birth. Then I remembered God created curtains for a reason.

We had a similar issue but the neighbour would prance around with his todger out. I spoke to our local police who said even in his own garden its exposure. He moved so we did nothing. I’d ask him to put pants on, especially if you have kids. Why he needs to do this is beyond me