New neighbour sunbathing in the nude

[ZooHannah]

We moved in to our dream home last month, we have a corner plot with only one direct neighbour who is a (I believe) single man and has always been polite and friendly in our initial conversations.

DH looked out of our bedroom window today to see our neighbour sunbathing completely starkers. He came downstairs to tell me and I couldn’t believe it when I went upstairs and saw for myself.

I want to go round to say something however DH has told me I am being ridiculous and he is on his own property so can go what he wants.

AIBU? I appreciate neighbourly relations but I am absolutely repulsed by this.

''@Talk5 · Today 09:42

It's his garden on his property. You can do as you choose on yours as he can on his.''

Not technically true. You can't just do whatever you want in your property or garden.

The law still applies against things like anti-social behaviour, indecent exposure...

I'm sure if some MN's had a gorgeous single woman sunbathing completely naked next door they would start a thread about it. They would accuse her of trying to lure their DH's.

However, an ordinary looking man it would be fine.

I’d think it was funny. Leave him to it.

Ugh please help me - British and their weirdly distorted relationship to nakedness. If you see, DONT look. Give him his privacy in his OWN back garden.

There's a difference between nudity and indecency. A person nude in their own garden isn't being indecent in public. Bodies exist, private gardens exist. People who says they don't want to see it should close their blinds and stop peeking. I'm sure they'll say "I don't want to be controlled in my own home", oblivious to the fact that that's exactly what they want to do to the neighbour. I also wonder why OP dashed upstairs to confirm for herself. Did she think her husband couldn't reconize a penis or a bum when he sees one?

Yes. I live in a small terrace house. If we look out of the back window I can see my neighbour's garden very clearly and if he was on a lounger naked we would see his penis. I mean, you'd see your own family quite clearly (naked or otherwise) from an upstairs window, wouldn't you?). Just because there's a fence and an official boundary doesn't suddenly blur the view.

This was in response to a PP suggesting you'd barely see a penis from an upstairs window.

I also know said neighbour would see me pretty clearly if I was skipping around naked in my garden. My choice obviously, but I don't think many people do it knowing their neighbours can see.

You never cease to (pleasantly)surprise me fellow mumsnetters. I thought most of you would. be calling for a mob castration 😂
Leave him be

My neighbour regularly does it. I cannot bring myself to chat to her whilst shes naked because I know I would unintentionally stare at her bits 😂.
Wish I had the balls (see what I did there) 😂

Ah! I finally understand what's going on here. The average Mumsnetter lives in a posh detached house with a huge garden so naturally you're all assuming it's very difficult to see your neighbours as they are so far away, behind your apple orchards.

Allow me to introduce you to the reality of the average British home. Most houses are packed side to side like sardines and we do not benefit from the coverage provided by ancient oak trees and summer houses. You see, normal people quite often see their neighbours gardens when they casually glance out of the window.

I realise this must be confusing for those of you who need to pack a hiking bag to walk to the end of your enormous gardens.

If he has his todger out when he knows the neighbours will easily see him by accident then he must be a perv with a fetish. He probably enjoys being watched, the dirty bugger.

Actually pleasantly surprised by how sane this thread is for the most part.

I think I live in a similar setup to the OP in that I can see into my neighbours' gardens if I peer out of the upstairs windows, but not from the ground floor or my own garden. Have caught a glimpse of various neighbours in states of semi-undress in the summer, and I'm sure they've caught a glimpse of me. It's really easy to avert your eyes and move on if you don't like what you see.

@rosemarble

I mean, you'd see your own family quite clearly (naked or otherwise) from an upstairs window, wouldn't you?

TBH I could see them in next door's garden but I would struggle to see, say, their noses without squinting.

Don't exaggerate. I live in a normal semi and I doubt if most people live in large extensive properties. I still think the OP is being ridiculous.

Someone upthread even claimed she'd been violated.

I can see 5 gardens fairly clearly from upstairs. 2 side, 3 backing on to us.

Trouble is, you don't know whether he's always sunbathed outside naked and now you're about to wreck it for him, or whether he's decided to do it for a kick, now he has new neighbours.

And I'm jealous that's warm enough to sunbathe in the nip where you live.

I guess my neighbour would be about 4m away? I think I can see a penis from 4m (God....I'm going to get on with my day!)

How exactly do you foresee this conversation going…? “My husband told me you were naked in your garden so I rushed upstairs to look and didn’t like it so can you please stop?”

There are only a few places where I am overlooked in my garden and if I'm gardening when I get too hot I will remove something, not to the extent of bare boobs, but a bra.
When we had that incredibly how Summer a couple of years ago I couldn't sleep so went and sat on a patio chair starkers and read my book for an hour, my 40+ daughter was appalled when I told her even though no-one could have seen me without using a climbing harness to peer out of their window!

Is it just out your bedroom window you can see? I’d ignore.

You must have a very squat house then @rosemarble ?

What has him being single got to do with anything? Would his back garden nudity somehow be more, or less, acceptable if he was in a relationship?

😂cant. stop. laughing.

just a normal mid terrace. I don’t know the exact distance, but I can see NDN’s garden quite clearly.

She just wanted the view blocked when she was in the garden!

A tree cloud block it from upstairs.

Nothing 'technically' about it
He's on his own property and can dress or undress as he likes
As he could walking down the street
Nudity is not illegal in the UK unless there's an intent to alarm or offend

So don't look then 🤷‍♀️

I’d find it really uncomfortable if my neighbour was lying naked in the garden where my kids (and me) could easily see them from our upstairs. Just because it’s your own garden you can’t just do whatever the F you like if you are visible!