Career or looks in women?

[Coffeeloveer]

What do you think it more important for a woman? I’ve seen some very beautiful women do well in life without a “well paid” career.. I get that career will make your own money but is a career really necessary if your attractive?

The women I see “working themselves into the ground” generally have poorly-paid non-career jobs. Women in well-paid professional jobs generally have more time and money to spend on themselves.

Women who don’t work because they are SAHMs generally don’t have a lot of time or money either.

If you mean a millionaire’s kept woman/trophy wife with either no children or round the clock nannies, then yes they do have all day to spend getting their nails done, but unless you look like Gisele, that isn’t a route out of poverty that any woman can walk into simply by losing weight and getting some fillers done.

Very true.

I want to say career, as if it were the obvious answer, but I'm afraid I don't think it is obvious. It's a pretty sad world if a woman relies purely on her looks.

Likewise people who start MN threads on contentious subjects just to tell people how beautiful they are!

🤣

Career for me !

Where the fuck have you "noticed" this?!?!?!? Sounds like some incel, MRA shit talk. "Use their beauty to marry into money", dude, kindly, go fuck yourself, you're deranged!

When you say "what I've seen is...." that is your opinion. It's not a question.

Tbh, from my experience of me and everyone I know, a woman’s biggest predictor of ‘success’ (money) in life is still who they marry. I am single and doing well in my career but have very little compared to some women I know who don’t work or went part time with the kids and are married to well off men/people. I’m not even doing as well (financially) as women who didn’t marry especially rich people but have households with two incomes. Meanwhile those women I know who haven’t married are less well off even if they’re doing really quite well for themselves. So anecdotally you’re not wrong.

I wouldn’t say those that married ‘well’ are the most beautiful though. Sometimes they were the most determined to do so, throwing themselves at their chosen partner and giving up everything to follow them in some cases. Very risky strategy.

All that said, I don’t envy any of them at all! They none of them have what I think is true security. All are reliant on their relationships surviving to keep their nice lives. I have a smaller house but it’s 100% mine. They have half a nicer house but couldn’t afford what I have if they divorced. And they’ve damaged their long term earning prospects significantly, either by never having much of a career / working, or by going part time to look after the family. Several have husbands who massively hold money over them in a way I think is extremely controlling. They’re not necessarily happier.

I would never put my future in the hands of amother person / a relationship. Even if I met the millionaire man of my dreams tomorrow, I still wouldn’t. Partly because I would rather work than do childcare full time, it’s easier! But also to maintain my independence and guarantee my future security as much as possible.

Oh, and people that marry looks are not unlikely to trade in for a newer model when those looks start to fade…

If that answers your question at all!

Don’t you find hairy hands attractive?

If your only contribution is a comment on grammar why did you even bother? Surely you have enough sense to be able to make a decent stab at understanding what the the poster meant.

It wasn't my only contribution.

It was in reply to being self declared highly intelligent.

Thank you for your comment though.

Would I rather be independent and able to make my own money and success or dependent on someone else? Since the bastards can always turn out to be abusive, I will take independence and the ability to walk away every time.

What exactly are you saying? That if a woman is attractive then she should sleep with a well off man to provide money instead of earning her own? Wouldn’t that make her a prostitute?

Not necessarily. Running around like a blue arsed fly trying to maintain a career, a home and children and having next to no time for iserbervor self care doesn’t feel an awful lot like freedom a lot of the time.

My apologies. It's just that you were letting us all know how highly intelligent you are. I didn't want you to spot it later and feel embarrassed.

If it were me, I'd feel a bit of a knobhead after making such claims. That's me though.

I find that there isn't enough confidence in the world, especially in regard to young women.
It's refreshing to see, that one can be as lazy as they like in any situation of their choosing and still be absolutely correct. It's marvellous.

The title seemed to be an either/or.

The everything at one time is definitely a different scenario and definitely more difficult. The number of MN threads where women are still expected to do the lion's share of the lifting is depressing, and really underpins my feelings that women having, and trying to maintain, a career is a necessity.

Seriously cannot read all this, I think the most important thing is to contribute to society and ensure any children are brought up to respect others opinions ,if not agreeing with them , and also contribute to society. You don't need to be super intelligent or beautiful to do these things. The world would be a better place if everyone did them though.
Would I rather be intelligent or beautiful? Intelligent everytime.

@roshi42

Tbh, from my experience of me and everyone I know, a woman’s biggest predictor of ‘success’ (money) in life is still who they marry.

That's probably true because the compounding of two good incomes leads to a much better overall household income, provides a safety net, allows for savings and potentially more flexibility at work. And also gives the woman more power in the marriage which is almost always a good thing. A single woman or a woman who is married to a low-paid man isn't going to get much incremental upside over and above what she generates on here own.

But that isn't what the OP asked: she presented it as a binary choice that women have to make between "looks" and "career". Almost like doing the 11+ and having to decide between Grammar or Secondary Modern.

A woman with a wealthy husband is in a better place than one without. But a woman with a wealthy husband who also has her own career and has autonomy over the household finances and can make choices is a very different beast for a woman who has married for money purely on the basis of her looks and who is now essentially beholden to the man she married because she doesn't have any money if he leaves.

You can be beautiful and still run around like a blue arsed fly. You can be ugly and be a lady of leisure.

The gross implication of the OP was that women have a binary choice between being pretty enough to make a successful living as a Dubai Portapotty, or work all hours in a badly paid job.

I’m sure Op will be back to explain that in addition to being stunningly beautiful, highly intelligent and happily married as she has already told us, she actually earns millions a year as a partner in a Magic Circle firm.