Career or looks in women?

[Coffeeloveer]

What do you think it more important for a woman? I’ve seen some very beautiful women do well in life without a “well paid” career.. I get that career will make your own money but is a career really necessary if your attractive?

If they use their beauty to marry into money they are entirely dependent on their husband and his acceptance of them for their financial wellbeing.

And when their beauty fades (which it will) they are at high risk of being chucked under the proverbial bus in favour of a younger model. The sorts of men who marry women for beauty are, by definition, only interested in beauty and will not think twice about dumping a woman who gets too old. (And usually they are selfish).

If you have a career you're not building your financial security around someone else and their judgement of you. If he wants to leave, or you want to leave, it's not the end of the world and you have options.

Using beauty as a strategy to seek financial security is like playing Russian Roulette.

I hope you don't have daughters?

The people I know who married very wealthy men don’t seem particularly happy. And they’re stuck that way unless they want to go back to having nothing.

That said, I’m ambitious and driven and that’s how I attracted Dh. He definitely wouldn’t want to be with some mindless over tanned over plucked numpty who just wants a man around to pay her bills. We made money together and now have a very comfortable and leisurely lifestyle.

Besides all that, looks change. No one stays young and fit forever. I’ve had a cancer diagnosis, which means I definitely look different now than I did when I was in my 20s. But being dumb and lazy is forever. I think most men would get bored with that when looks fade.

The less attractive women are really exposing themselves by how aggressive they are responding to this question I don’t get why everyone’s taking such offensive it’s a question about something I’ve noticed not my own personal opinion jheez

What a deeply depressing op.

And a ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’ just as a little sprinkling of shit on the top.

Well, I am a “rich man”. Attractive enough in my younger years but not dim enough to trade on that. We all get older and depending on someone else who only valued my looks? Not my thing. I’ve earned my own money and never once regretted it.

What a disappointing question.

Why do you assume every beautiful woman can or wishes to “marry into money?”

Or why is not working for her own money you think most women don’t want?

You are being incredibly sexist.

Jumped the shark there, op

Who are you the grammar police? You don’t get extra points for good grammar on mumsnet lol as said previously it’s been a long day and you don’t get points for your grammar on mumsnet

LOLZ.

Have you got a stealth AI webcam that lets you grade us according to our beauty built into your keyboard?

How do you know which among us are "less attractive"?

MN please bring back the laugh response button

And there we have it.

Seems like somebody got bored on incels.co and wandered over to Mumsnet.

lol someone had to say it 🙄🤣

It’s an offensively stupid question which suggests your internalised misogyny is off the scale. Why not ask yourself why you’re not posting ‘Men — looks or career?’ and musing on whether pretty men should bother their heads qualifying for anything when they could just be trophy husbands, and see if why you’re not asking that casts any light on your thought processes?

@JHound

Seems like somebody got bored on incels.co and wandered over to Mumsnet.

Nah, the incels have more imagination (and better grammar). This poster is just basic.

You are being challenged because your thread is inherently sexist.

your question implies that a woman’s appearance could be an acceptable alternative to a career, whereas we almost never frame that kind of trade off for men. It’s a sexist double standard.

you have reduced a woman’s value to her looks and implied it’s a currency for trade.

you are reinforcing stereotypes

you are implying financial independence isn’t important as long a woman is good looking

it assumes women have fewer choices or A narrower path to success compared to men, which historically has been the case

finally assuming that anyone who disagrees with you is unattractive is just juvenile.

A "career" sounds fancy but in reality it often means spending 10 hours a day doing tedious work in an office for five decades.

Another valid point…

Not my experience. At all. I absolutely loved my career. I like it more now I’m self employed though, I will admit that.

Actually I was questioning if attractive women can use it to their advantage to do as well as men

If you’re placing money above all else you might well end up stuck with a god awful human being for a husband. Imagine being married to the likes of Elon Musk or Donald Trump. Sure you’d be rich and beautiful, but you’d have to have sex with a dreadful human being. The only time I’ve seen Melania give a natural smile was when she was kissing Justin Trudeau.

WTAF? What a very strange and shallow minded question 😳

It depends on the career doesn't it?

You realise that not everyone who works works in an office?

Being good looking and/or tall and slim (male or female), has been proven an advantage in interview. It can get you through the door.

You still have to deliver once you are employed but certainly good looks can be used to initial advantage,

I’m driven and ambitious and a complete professional failure largely due to ADHD, which wasn’t diagnosed until my early 50s. For me to be “successful” in life I had to be self aware and do a searingly honest self assessment, which led me to marrying fairly well later in life and bringing looks and charm to the table. I’m reasonably well travelled and slightly uneducated but I’ve done my best with the hand I was dealt.