Ex’s unreasonable demands to my house?

[rudddy]

Me and the father of my child are no longer together due to various issues including emotional and verbal abuse on his part.

For some reason he expects a key to my new house and access to the Ringdoor bell to ensure if there was ever an emergency he would have emergency access if required.

I dont want him to have a key or access to my Ringdoor bell and I have told him as such.

He has asked his friends and siblings who are also in a similar situation and have said the fathers all have keys to the other parents house and that I ABU.

Also as I live in a house and he now lives in a flat he expects his family and friends to all visit DC in my house.
I don’t like his friends and they caused a lot of issues in our relationship and we’re quite disrespectful to me so I don’t want any of them in my house.

I get on well with his mum and sisters so that’s not an issue.

His brother expects to bring his various child’s mothers and criminal adult children to my house and I don’t want people involved in crime and knives in my house but as I live in a spacious house my ex thinks I am BU to not want to accommodate these visits.

Ex now lives in a bad area, drugs being sold, a lot of drugs addicts around.

AIBU?
End of the day I just want what’s best for DC.

Hahahahahaahahahahahaha

Nope

Woah. No. His friends are all full of shit. No key, no access, no visits arranged by him. If his mum and sister are so friendly they can arrange separately, but you say nicely to them that you cannot let him rule your life anymore so if he arranges anything in your house, it’s not happening. And tell him if he ever pushes for anyone to be let in your house you wlll call the police.

I’m glad he’s your ex as he is a delusional knobhead twat. Tell him to go jump.

No. It’s YOUR home YOUR sanctuary. He can fuck off to the bottom of the drive and then fuck off some more.
he wants access so he can control you, not let you move on. Not let you be free.

Block all these people and only communicate with the man through a parenting app.

I concur with hahahahahaha. Nope.

Indeed. No. Do not entertain the conversation

Haha, he's hilarious. Tell him no fkn chance to all of the above. In fact ignore him and if he asks again, tell him you thought he was joking.

No chance! he can piss right off

Ridiculous. My husband has never had and would never expect to have a key to his ex’s house. He’s trying to control you and you need to set firm boundaries from the start.

What’s best for your dc is a mum who has a chance to be free of a controlling man. Thats all he wants, control over you. Laugh at him and say I don’t think so. If you wanted free access to my house for everyone you know, you should have been less of a nasty shit to me. That ship has sailed and it’s no key no entry certainly no ring doorbell and none of your friends. What kind of dad are you anyway fighting to get criminals more access to your children not less? Not in my house.

He's your ex - he doesn't get to demand anything except reasonable access to his child (if he is safe) and that does not have to be at your house.

Abso-fucking-lutely not.

I don't even know why you're asking? 🤣🤣🤣

Lol
No

You shouldn’t need us to tell you that you don’t have to give your house key to another person, unless their name is on the deeds.

Thank you.
He has all these demands but I am not allowed in his flat and have to wait in the car.

All his friends used to hate me despite only meeting me a handful of times because of the lies he had told them about me and vice versa.

I was never welcomed into their clique despite being with ex longer than they had been friends.

He would tell me stuff they would say about me and then make up lies about what I had said to them.

I do feel as if I need to be more assertive and be more firm on boundaries.

No to all of it. Including his family visiting, as he will just take further liberties

No, no, no to all of this.

he is beyond unreasonable. Don’t let him or his family cross your threshold

Do not allow him to have a key to your home, do not allow him or anyone else in your home that you don't want there.
I would also highly recommend having a security camera fitted to the front and rear entrances of your home so you have coverage in case he decides to drop by unexpectedly with any relatives to visit and he tries to bank on you being too polite to turn them away!

Definitely hold your boundaries.

It's usel to mentally separate your relationship with him from his relationship with the children. The latter he has and you'll support it to continue. The former is over. You no longer have a relationship with him so he has NO say on your life or rights to a say in anything that you do or your home.

It sounds like he’s an ex for a load of very good reasons

Just no. And never let his mum or sisters have a key either.

What the actual heck. Is he delusional?

Gently, if you need to ask if you are being unreasonable then I suspect you need to do some work on yourself and boundaries.

No, that’s really not normal. Even the people I know who have a really good, healthy coparenting relationship with their ex don’t have keys to each other’s homes. It’s just not necessary. He doesn’t need access to your home at all and with his past behaviour I wouldn’t be allowing him to ever come to my home and would be doing handover at a neutral location and not either of your homes.