Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh been caught out and trying to hide it or am I mad?!?!

106 replies

girlmum1999 · 13/06/2025 02:09

Situation -
a random girl has added me on Facebook, I saw that she has liked some of dh posts so I thought she was someone he knew so added her. I then saw on her page that he had been liking her posts. I then asked him about her to which he said straight away why what has she said. I said nothing howcome and he replied funny story but I messaged her to see if she was being loyal to my friend as they have recently started talking. He then said I have blocked her on everyone now tho as she pointed out I had a partner and a child.

dh has then rang his friend and before the phone call has stated I bet his says ….. and when on the phone his friend said the exact thing word for word which dh has told me what he would say then friend said I need to go which is not like him. Dh has admitted to talking to his friend about this while I have been in the house however has hid it by saying that he is showing him the garden furniture. I asked dh when did this start he said 3 days ago so I said well why not tell me if it was fake and you was just doing it to see if she is talking to other people. Just to clarify dh’s friend is not in any sort of relationship with this girl.

I asked dh if he had complimented the girl and told her if she’s good looking he said he couldn’t remember exactly what he said but he probably did. I have expressed to dh that this has really annoyed me that he has been saying this to another woman but he can never compliment me and in the day he hardly messages me, so it makes me question when has he been messaging her, through the day while at work, at home when I’m there, it has really upset me.

aibu for thinking deeply into this, It just doesn’t add up but if I said anything he’ll just say you don’t trust me but it’s weird.

when I have spoken to dh’s friend in the past, he was trying to chat up one of my friends I stated that she most likely isn’t interest as she is talking to other people however he stated he isn’t bothered and is just looking for a good time, so why the sudden change of heart with this woman he hardly knows.

dh has also said that he doesn’t have the messages, surely you’d keep them and show myself?

I just think its bizarre not to tell my and for me to find out by her adding me on Facebook and me having to ask if he knows her.

im not saying I don’t trust him I just do not believe the situation makes sense. Am I going mad?!?!
do I message the girl and ask?!??

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 13/06/2025 02:11

? Don’t be married to someone you don’t trust.

Agix · 13/06/2025 05:52

You've caught your DH out. The reason it doesn't make sense is because his version of the story is bollocks.

Hellovation · 13/06/2025 05:54

He said “why what’s she said”

yeah she’s got something to say- that’s why.

I’m sad for you OP. Don’t be a mug. You deserve better.

Daisy12Maisie · 13/06/2025 05:55

Yes I would message her. She has already added you.
Then ask for screenshots

Beetletweetle · 13/06/2025 05:56

he's sleeping with her.

Smittenkitchen · 13/06/2025 05:58

Very concerning. I'd definitely message her. Don't doubt your instincts about this.

Motnight · 13/06/2025 06:01

Beetletweetle · 13/06/2025 05:56

he's sleeping with her.

Or he's trying to. It's not good whatever the situation is

Left · 13/06/2025 06:34

Have you checked the hidden messages folder on Facebook? She might have messaged you before you accepted her request.

ThatWildMintSloth · 13/06/2025 06:41

Message her.. Just be like 'Hi, sorry do I know you or is it just a random add?' See what she says

ForestFox44 · 13/06/2025 06:50

Id be messaging her, your husband is hiding something 😬

nomas · 13/06/2025 06:53

Your husband is chatting to other women and is shit scared because he almost got caught.

I would message the women and ask her what he said to her.

Do you have kids with him? Don’t have kids with him.

girlmum1999 · 13/06/2025 08:36

nomas · 13/06/2025 06:53

Your husband is chatting to other women and is shit scared because he almost got caught.

I would message the women and ask her what he said to her.

Do you have kids with him? Don’t have kids with him.

A 5 month old🤦🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
Koazy · 13/06/2025 08:43

He’s lying.

Swiftie1878 · 13/06/2025 08:48

This isn’t good, OP.
I’m so sorry 😢

Sdpbody · 13/06/2025 10:24

girlmum1999 · 13/06/2025 08:36

A 5 month old🤦🏽‍♀️

Ahh this is normally their MO.

Man isn't getting attention at home. Man is pathetic. Man finds young woman attractive. Man is weak.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 13/06/2025 10:49

I would ask. I would need to know either way.

girlmum1999 · 13/06/2025 10:50

I’ve asked she has said he said she looked good on a night out and he asked to pick her up for work, but he has told me he doesn’t know her at all

OP posts:
TheSlantedOwl · 13/06/2025 10:53

You can’t trust him. He’s putting out feelers to her and if she doesn’t bite it will soon be someone else. Sorry OP.

nomas · 13/06/2025 10:55

girlmum1999 · 13/06/2025 10:50

I’ve asked she has said he said she looked good on a night out and he asked to pick her up for work, but he has told me he doesn’t know her at all

He's lying.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 13/06/2025 11:00

You don't trust him because he isn't trustworthy. It really pisses me off when these low quality men use 'don't you trust me' to silence women who are, quite rightly, questioning their behaviour. You don't get to be messaging other women like that and bleat about not being trusted.

1SillySossij · 13/06/2025 11:00

Tbh I think I am too old to understand a lot of your post, op, but it sounds as though he has flattered her and asked her if she is open to anything. She has said no because he is married. If my interpretation of is correct, you need to bin him off. He has no respect for you.

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 13/06/2025 11:02

He's a lying scumbag. Time to consider your boundaries...

ThatDaringEagle · 13/06/2025 11:12

Sdpbody · 13/06/2025 10:24

Ahh this is normally their MO.

Man isn't getting attention at home. Man is pathetic. Man finds young woman attractive. Man is weak.

You may be right about this man in this case, but leave out the generalised, misandrist, prejudiced sexist bs perhaps!?

OldMcDonaldHadABigMac · 13/06/2025 11:16

He's a cheating (or trying to cheat) bastard.

girlmum1999 · 13/06/2025 11:21

According to her she has never been spoken to by his friend and only knows they work together! My head is officially fucked!!!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread