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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh been caught out and trying to hide it or am I mad?!?!

106 replies

girlmum1999 · 13/06/2025 02:09

Situation -
a random girl has added me on Facebook, I saw that she has liked some of dh posts so I thought she was someone he knew so added her. I then saw on her page that he had been liking her posts. I then asked him about her to which he said straight away why what has she said. I said nothing howcome and he replied funny story but I messaged her to see if she was being loyal to my friend as they have recently started talking. He then said I have blocked her on everyone now tho as she pointed out I had a partner and a child.

dh has then rang his friend and before the phone call has stated I bet his says ….. and when on the phone his friend said the exact thing word for word which dh has told me what he would say then friend said I need to go which is not like him. Dh has admitted to talking to his friend about this while I have been in the house however has hid it by saying that he is showing him the garden furniture. I asked dh when did this start he said 3 days ago so I said well why not tell me if it was fake and you was just doing it to see if she is talking to other people. Just to clarify dh’s friend is not in any sort of relationship with this girl.

I asked dh if he had complimented the girl and told her if she’s good looking he said he couldn’t remember exactly what he said but he probably did. I have expressed to dh that this has really annoyed me that he has been saying this to another woman but he can never compliment me and in the day he hardly messages me, so it makes me question when has he been messaging her, through the day while at work, at home when I’m there, it has really upset me.

aibu for thinking deeply into this, It just doesn’t add up but if I said anything he’ll just say you don’t trust me but it’s weird.

when I have spoken to dh’s friend in the past, he was trying to chat up one of my friends I stated that she most likely isn’t interest as she is talking to other people however he stated he isn’t bothered and is just looking for a good time, so why the sudden change of heart with this woman he hardly knows.

dh has also said that he doesn’t have the messages, surely you’d keep them and show myself?

I just think its bizarre not to tell my and for me to find out by her adding me on Facebook and me having to ask if he knows her.

im not saying I don’t trust him I just do not believe the situation makes sense. Am I going mad?!?!
do I message the girl and ask?!??

OP posts:
Ooodelally · 13/06/2025 19:03

I’m sorry but not only is he looking to cheat, he’s concocted a whole back story to (poorly) cover his tracks. He’s been planning this for some time…

NadjaofAntipaxos · 13/06/2025 19:08

And this friend is a massive wannabe shagger as well. He is obviously encouraging your husband to be a dirty dog (not that he needs much encouragement by the sounds of it).
Your husband sees him having fun chasing women and looks at his own life with a newborn and wants a bit of excitement for himself. Mate can't wait to egg him on.
It's all so predictable and pathetic.

StopStartStop · 13/06/2025 19:27

ThatDaringEagle · 13/06/2025 11:12

You may be right about this man in this case, but leave out the generalised, misandrist, prejudiced sexist bs perhaps!?

Observation will convince any sensible person that men are bastards. That's not misandry, prejudiced or sexist and it's not bullshit.

OP, throw him back.

ThatDaringEagle · 14/06/2025 00:12

Observation will only convince any sensible person that you are merely an embittered, prejudiced, little misandrist who knowingly spouts man hating bs online, meanwhile most sensible people, i.e. those who have retained the use of their sense, eventually conclude that bad behaviour is probably about equal across the sexes, albeit often acted out in very different ways. G'LUCK!!

OneFineDay13 · 14/06/2025 00:19

He is talking one load of pish and definitely up to no good with his side kick mate

OneFineDay13 · 14/06/2025 00:21

girlmum1999 · 13/06/2025 11:59

So to add to this messy story she has said he has sent a topless picture in the gym but he hasn’t been the gym for 2 weeks.

NOTHING IS MAKING SENSE

For god sake wake up !! He has been lying to you

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