Called Unsociable 10 year old a fat c*nt

[Herefortea2]

Ok, am I the worst person ever??
Last week I was at marks and spencers and there was this boy there, about 11 who was riding around on a electric scooter, whizzing past people and behaving in a passive aggressive way. When I past him he loudly made throwing up noises several times right in front of me, to scare/shock me and I said oh are you ok, maybe you need a doctor (because I don't like to be initimdated by youths). Anyway I do the shop and keep thinking about him, I was in a bad mood already and he really annoyed me, I'm fed up of little shits thinking they can terrorise people.
Anyway I saw him again on the way out and again he was whizzing past scaring people. He came past me again and then I said it.....I said 'fat cnt'!!! Now I actually do not use that word, I don't like it, I don't like it when it's used around me either but I was so pissed off that that's what I said!!!! Anyway he circled round and was like what did you say....I ignored him and he started insulting me and following me as I walked to my car, saying is this your car you fucking bitch, cnt, etc etc. I walked away saying I'm calling the police! Then this guy comes over who's his dad! He apologies and says he's trying to get him home (the kid had been in the car park for half an hour at least, maybe longer), the kid tells the dad what I called him and the dad says 'no she didn't' then the kid goes off at the dad for taking a strangers side. The dad is completely useless as the kid is still circling me where I actually have to push him away from me! Eventually he leaves after a lot of verbal abuse, from the kid. Now I'm thinking I shouldn't have done it and feeling guilty and also worried that I can't go back to M&S because he might be there and start abusing me and I have 2 young children. Thoughts? I am going to hell?

But that’s just more of the same. Surely you can see that?

Children disciplined with violence and insults acquire the same skills. It’s not rocket science.

Of course it’s not ok. But she used that language first: and she’s an adult and he’s 11!

If of maybe called him a cheeky cunt, rather then a fat one.

What is the answer then? Op wasn't violent to him just called him a not very nice name. He on the other hand was threatening her.

Oh for goodness sake, it was late, I was tired. I’d done a long and frankly hellish day in school. From OPs description there’s actually a possibility this kid was in my classroom a few hours earlier, I can name three immediate suspects from my own class, and tens more from the school at large. I am aware that I came off as patronising, I didn’t mean to, I am just used to speaking to the 11 year old not the adult about stuff like this. I guess a better way of putting it would have been “you fucked up, but you’ve realised that, so don’t give it any more headspace”. To be fair, I probably fucked up, and I’m sorry if I accidentally patronised the OP, I had teacher brain on, as I do basically 24 hours a day in term time because it takes over your life.

Tried to tag you in the post above but somehow deleted it. I’m not being very competent here.

I’ve never needed the laugh emoji more! Hilarious answer..

This thread has made my morning 😂😂😂

Op, your use of language was a tad colourful but it is what it is. You lost control. It happens. Move on. You clearly feel terrible and acknowledge what you did was wrong. Next time just be mindful of the triggers and respond accordingly.

I do feel there’s a clear lack of respect amongst the young nowadays. Not saying all before people jump down my throat. I have a lot of teacher friends and the stories they share about behaviour is shocking.

It's not great. What bothers me is the kids dad was like no she didn't . I remember not being believed as a kid and its horrible - you feel like you don't exist. You address the behaviour , you don't throw insults

That's just saying the same vague thing again. It clarifies nothing. Do you mean you would assault them? Or just go red in the face and angrily use hurty words?

Ricky Gervais did it in the first episode of After Life and that was funny. But in real life you should probably avoid the slurs. I’d have focused on the chubby aspect instead if he really was chubby because it’d have hurt more than the C word.

“If you called my kid a fat c*nt I’d do this and that”.
He was insulting the OP and I’m imagining others, and his dad couldn’t control him. He’ll experience worse if he doesn’t wise up.
I wouldn’t worry about it OP, next time he’ll be on the end of a slap after calling someone a fucking bitch again.

I suppose the question I ask is what is more damaging; a child being verbally slapped down by an adult for appalling, belittling, intimidating and possibly sexist behaviour, or a child not receiving any timely consequence for the above. I think the latter is more damaging.

You know YABU. I’ve sometimes heard people snapping eventually and calling kids stuff like “little shits” when they are behaving like that - I mean it happens, even in public 🤷‍♀️ . But “Fat Cunt?” I’ve only occasionally even heard adults use that kind of language to each other - because you’ve got the double whammy of body shaming and use of a female body part to shame which hints at internalised misogyny.

I do understand snapping after goading happens, even in somewhere like a supermarket - but personally I think you need to have a good think about why you went straight to those words, in case it happens again.

ETA: Obviously YANBU to have been really angry at the kids behaviour though, I dread to think what he will be like as a teenager if he’s behaving that way at 10.

It wasn't ideal. I am not proud to admit it but sounds like something I would do if I lost my rag as I have a short fuse. I would also feel bad about it after like you do. So don't be too hard on yourself, you are only human. And sometimes a fat cunt needs to be called out even if they are 10. 😂

I woke up this morning absolutely gagging to read the updates to this thread.

OP, in other news, get any good picky bits at M&S?

Oh get you! All implied threat and hard as..Bet you love faaaamily and you’d do anything for your kids.Hey ho, I see you. You’ll never have to worry about going to fortmum and mason again. I ever see you or your fat cunt kid at the hors d'oeuvre section and we will be having words. You get me?

I did wonder if you were a teacher!

Missing the point of this thread and your reply totally, but I'm loving your use of the word gumption... my DM uses it a lot and it's an underused word in general, IMHO.👍

Thanks for all the responses, I've been catching up this morning. To answer a few queries - it was in the car park only he was whizzing around not in the supermarket itself. So as people were coming in and out she was cutting them off if that makes sense.

Regarding the 5 minutes of abuse this was happening whilst i walked to my car and then turned back because I was worried what he'd do when I was in it, or follow me (his dad wasn't there then). Then his dad came over and I said this boy is terrorising everyone here. I walk further as the boy is following me and say I'm calling the police - so I put my phone to my ear and pretend to call the police. I try to sort of hide around one side of M&S but he's there again. The dad is so near by and saying literally nothing but in fairness seems pretty 'normal', that was around the time he told the dad what I'd called him. The dad was just sort of standing there and he can hear him verbally abusing me, he wasnt trying to usher him on or anything. I was going to walk to the other end of M&S as there was a security man there but that would mean he'd follow me the whole time so I just pretending to speak to the police on the phone!! Yes it is a big car park, there's a couple of other shops there.

I'll confirm again the boy was not fat. I understand the insult is awful, I think that's the reason I went to it, for the shock factor.

I was actually thinking about it late last night/earlier morning and even had a dream about him!!

Well 2 things

1. when people act that way they should expect that reaction.
2. tactically you know that it was the wrong thing to do. You gave him ammo to harass you.

Exactly. My issue would have been my child's behaviour - what a random women says is unlikely to have any influence on their future, we would never see her again. As I tell my children, another person behaviour is a reflection on how they are feeling, such as bully's insults people because they are angry/scared/sad/feel inferior rather than because you have done anything wrong, so you try not to pay then any attention, it's not worth your time and energy.

If I had a child who thought they could treat a random adult like that, that's what I would need to focus on. Meant kindly OP, you actually wouldn't matter to me in that moment, unless you laid a hand on my child, then I would be calling security/police.

Honestly I'd have ended up doing the same. These kids sometimes need a shock.
I'd also agree it's not my finest hour but his parents arent doing anything about him terrorising people so better a stranger call him a name than give him a good slap, cause plenty would.

Don't worry about it. A lot of kids these days are disrespectful and horrible and need to be put in their place. You just need to be careful.

Go hand yourself in. I’ll crowd fund for a fierce barrister for you
You’ll need witness protection, as Martina Cole isn’t happy with you