To think Mumsnet is more vitriolic than it used to be?

[knowifIcando]

Or has it always been really bad and my tolerance levels are decreasing?

I must have been using the site for almost 20 years. There have always been trolls and disagreements but it’s getting mad. You see a post asking if anyone can recommend a good white gloss paint and you are asked if your DH will be doing the painting, why you’re not married, accused of not protecting your financial future and offered contraception advice.

Or you post to say that you’re sick of the same packed lunches and what healthy options can you make instead. You’re asked why you weren’t making healthy choices to this point, quizzed over your BMI and it ends with being accused of neglecting your kids,

Is it actually getting worse or is it me?

They weren’t as funny as they thought they were

Ooh, here we go!

Yep, the atmosphere is incredibly toxic overall and that seems to be the consensus amongst people I’ve spoken to IRL, who don’t bother coming on here any more, for that reason.
I wonder whether MNHQ will pay attention to the poll ^^. It maybe needs an anon survey of members to capture everyone’s thoughts?

😜

I think that there are more spats now than there used to be but the quality of argument has dramatically reduced.

Years back when posters got into it there was none of this not in the spirit of the site stuff, just ... was it Olivia who used to come on suggesting love and peace ? 😁

Years back a row on here was really something. I'd sit there like a sad bastard clicking refresh and reading it all.

Now the arguments are dull and the insults weak.

Even the trolls are low quality.

There are still some real goodies on here though.

Also, there is nuance. I’ve typed replies on the hop and looked later to see that I’ve come across as abrupt when I didn’t mean to be.

This. And so many people taking everything incredibly seriously. I agree with @JaneJeffer that some people weren’t ever as funny as they thought they were, but there seems to be a lot less general humour now.

agreed. I also see that there is the type of poster that just wants to come on for an argument. They won’t actually contribute to the OPs question, it’ll be a singled out reply that they want to scrutinise and get in to a private back and forth on

I think there is so much bad news in the world and the U.K. is in a mess and everybody is more arsey and less tolerant -and it’s the same here.

"And so many people taking everything incredibly seriously."

I'm glad the trend for telling to people to go 'NC' (no contact) has died down.
That was being trotted out at every minor dispute for a good while.
As if.

Yes, it was kind of ‘take no fools’ no-nonsense and wit where people were trying to ‘educate’ each other. Obvious there were still dicks but in general that was what vipers nest meant. Now people are often really cold and callous on threads where someone is really struggling. The sort of threads that would have been left alone in the past. Often the first poster to respond on a thread, and often thick as well as cruel.

I definitely used to laugh a lot more!

😂 I hate it when Mumsnet deletes replies to me before I see them, I want to know what the insults are.

"If you don't leave on my say so, you're abusing your kids yourself."

Paraphrasing of course but you know the sentiment.

Nasty.

100% this. I have only been using mumsnet a little while but people get really arsey over minor details and ready for a fight and that is on most threads I read here.

Oh me too.

Agree. I’ve been in here for a few years and think it’s nastier now than when I joined. To the point where I find Reddit (!!!) a nicer and more supportive place. Also, over the last few months either I’ve become very cynical or pretty much every ‘big’ thread now reads as fake to me. I close down at least 50% of the threads I open because I don’t believe the OP is genuine.

I agree but I think the difference is that people sharing an opinion are somehow directly attacking a poster. People are entitled to opinions and unless they are racist or discriminatory etc it doesn’t make them wrong.

People want to argue the person not the point.

People want to point out where people are wrong - often aggressively.

And they behave in a way you never would if the person was stood in front of you.

It’s kinda ridiculous at times.

I remember the packs of bullies years ago, they are banned now. Gosh it was horrendous watching them go after certain posters. It’s much better now, I think dissenting views are useful. Different views are helpful.

People used to come for a laugh, now they come for a fight.

When was the last time you saw someone suggest a thread go into classics? Some people won't even know what I mean!

Ive been on MN since 2004. Its definitely not as friendly or as kind as it was then, or 10 years ago or 5 years ago. Its gradually shifted. Lots of the same vibe is still here but a lot less of it than there used to be.

I've been here for ages (NC regularly) and I've noticed that people are a lot less empathetic now. Even when a poster is discussing grief, for example, or really awful, painful experiences they've had, someone tends to put the boot in. It's actually quite shocking to me- I find myself thinking how posters can sleep at night after they've enjoyed kicking someone who was looking for a handhold.

I would also say my experience has been very kind and positive on here. I have found the best advice on here of anywhere. Maybe I have just been lucky.

Yes the very dry humour and laughing out loud at some of the comments died off around the pandemic and hasn’t returned. I hope it does too. The lack of lightness I also see in real life.

I’ve been here for years and years.

There has been a change for the worse.
I think that is partly due to being more men on mn than ever before. What I’ve noticed is that there is a lot more scolding of women and “what about the menz” and tonnes of vitriol against women and bizarre comments on posts talking about relationships. I know it was always there a bit in the past, but there’s a different quality to it these days.