Partner spent my money and lied

[Lilly1812]

So i gave some money to my partner to keep in his savings account as he has a higher interest. I tried to open the same account but was denied. This is an inheritance given to my children by their late grandmother. I finally opened an account in their names and asked for the money back. He gave me different stories for a week. At first he said he has put some in a fixed term account so I said log in on ur app and let me see . He said no! Meanwhile he allowed me to see just a week before. This got me thinking that he has perhaps used some of the money. I asked him to tell me the truth but he insisted the money is there but he will transfer it when he's ready and he won't let me see his app either. After some back and forth and him making me very upset, he transferred some of the money. It is left with £5000. I asked him why he can't complete the transfer but he said he will do it. I persuaded him to just let me check to make sure he hasn't used it. He finally opened the app and I only saw £2000. I confronted him and he said he gave £3000 to his friend to invest in something and he should get it back by the end of the month. I'm so disappointed he lied to me for so long and also used my money without asking me. What can I do if I don't get the money back? I'm not talking to him as of now .

I would focus on getting the initial amount back and write off the interest as an expensive lesson learned. As long as your kids aren't down any inheritance thats the main thing.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. You used other peoples’ money so you could give him ‘the benefit of the doubt’,

The extra monies from a higher interest rate will be marginal in the time it takes to set up accounts in your children’s names.

But here we are now. I recommned setting up Junior ISAs which will keep the money protected until they are 18 https://www.gov.uk/junior-individual-savings-accounts

Given your partner’s behaviour I am worried about a couple of things. Firstly, if he does send the money to you, he may ask for it again should he have another ‘bright idea’ about an investment, or his car insurance is due, or something like that. This is why a junior ISA would be ideal - it protects you and your children.

Further, I am concerned about the level of trust you place in your partner (it’s clearly too high), and potentially some lack of financial and legal awareness on your part. If the money promised in a will disappears, it is you not your partner who could be sued, since you were expected to look after the money. I also do not think the executor of the will acted appropriately - accounts in the children’s names should’ve been set up from the outset.

I think it’s best to keep pushing for that 2k rather than wait on a promise of the original 5k and then press on from there.

It keeps getting worse with every update.

So let them. You have been foolish. But if you think they will be able to support you in getting the money back, then you need to take the flack for your actions and get help in getting the money back. Ultimately, you’ve let your DC down. Swallow your pride & do whatever it takes to get the money back.

And when you do, go to the bank (I do like the nationwide), tell them you have this money which belongs to DC and you’d like to place it in a secure account for them for the future. They will suggest an appropriate savings account / pension. Will you get the very best returns? Maybe. Maybe not. Will their money be secure, absolutely.

What reason has he for not sending the £2000 now? That’s more dodgy than anything. Insist it comes back immediately and then work on the last 3000. Why would he give someone else’s money to a friend to invest? How dare he! Did you get any interest paid?
I would tell your siblings and get them to tell him to put it back, it might shame him into it.
The relationship would be over for sure.

I didn't gift him the money. He knew the conditions of the money. It wasn't for him and he had no right to spend any of the money without my consent

And you gave this man your children’s inheritance money? Jeez. Dump him for starters. Demand money back with a date for return. Instigate small claims court if not received. Don’t expect to get it all back - he’s spent it. Learn from this.

Actually I’ve now read we’re talking about 15k, not 5k.

Good job getting 10k back and keep pursuing the 2k. Get that money in the children’s names, locked away till they’re 18, asap.

But it's not theft unfortunately
She transferred the money to him and unless theres anything in writing then she's not got a leg to stand on

He said he wants to make it complete before sending it to my child's account. Unfortunately I've asked him to send the 2k and add the 3k when he gets it but he said no.

By not talking to him I hope you mean dumped him. This man is no partner. Whether he intends to pay it back or not he’s stolen from your children. This man has not place in your life but more importantly, for the love of god why would you subject your family to him? You say he’s been shit previously, I dread to think what you’ve put up with until now. Please find it in yourself to shed this cretin.

If the OP is the executor of the will, she is liable, not him.

Exactly and to be fair to op this is her partner not some stranger or scam as some have said. Op couldn't have known this would happen.

Exactly my point! He didn't even tell me and when I asked for the money he lied and said he hasn't touched it and he will give it back when he's ready.

Please stop spouting inaccuracies and RTFT. It is theft. It meets the legal definition no problem. Practically is he going to get arrested for theft? No. Police won’t care.

OP, when he refuses to give the full 5k back, is it a one word hostile answer or some flowery waffle? I’m trying to gauge if he does not give a shit and fears no consequence or if he has some shame/fear.

@Whyherewego I completely disagree, he knew the money wasn’t given to him, he knew it didn’t belong to him, he knew it wasn’t available to spend. He has absolutely stolen it. They are clearly not old enough to be in charge of the money themselves or they’d have it, it was entrusted to this adult, who has abused that trust. It’s blatant theft from the children.

Maybe @mylovedoesitgood can slink back and tell me why her legal qualifications are better and how it’s not theft?

The reality is that for many people, a few thousand quid idling in an account is just too tempting. The risk is higher for men. To give you an example, when the government introduced child benefit, it was originally paid to the main earner (the man). However studies showed that the money didn’t benefit the children. When the system changed to pay it to the mother, it was spent on children (not the pub, or gambling).

Morally 100pc agree
In law without anything in writing it will be hard to prove and enforce.
So OP needs to tread carefully to ensure she gets as much as possible back is my view

I've put up with a lot. Cheating, lies, gaslighting etc but I always forgive him. To be honest, I have anxiety and don't have anyone apart from him so I always allow him back. No support system.

Tell him no fucking way. He needs to give you what he has now or you are calling the police (worth using the threat even if we think nothing will happen) as he’s proved he can’t be trusted. Suspect you won’t be getting any of it back.

Theft is a criminal offence, but you’d need to have clear evidence to provide to the police and it doesn’t seem like you do if the agreement is verbal. Simply suggesting it’s unlikely that someone would gift that amount to a partner would not be sufficient,

Similarly, even in the small claims court, you’d need to prove that it wasn’t a gift but a loan, and it sounds like you will find this tricky, especially as he is someone close to you - they tend to want clear evidence in cases involving money between family or friends.

I think if there are messages where he is alluding to the fact he knows it’s not his and the agreement is noted in there then these would be admissible. NAL though!

Actually you have your children and the gumption to get their money back for them. This shows that when push comes to shove, you CAN make good decisions (which he can’t).

I don't think he has any shame to be honest because this one time i gave him the chance to prove to me he can be honest and he has let me down again. He lied from the get go when I asked him to send the money to the kids newly opened accounts.