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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’m really upset I’m still fat

268 replies

Refvs · 10/06/2025 22:06

It’s been years since I’ve been trying to lose weight. I have done lots of diets but I can’t stick to anything. I will not take the weight loss jabs (no judgement to those that do btw) im just lost. I have all the exercise equipment at home but im so fat still. Yes I don’t exercise much so yes I know my fault.

my biggest thing is my emotions. If I have a bad day or great day I will eat loads. Been off work today due to ds being really unwell and from morning till evening I have just stress eaten.

please help me

OP posts:
sickofbeingsofat · 11/06/2025 11:44

Change your mindset - don't reward yourself with food treats. You are not a dog.

You don't deserve that chocolate bar. You deserve the nutrients your body needs. You deserve an interesting, varied and delicious diet.

And honestly, you might not believe this, but since I've been eating healthier, my food is yummier! A gorgeous risotto or curry full of leafy green vegetables is much nicer than the pile of pasta loaded with butter and cheese and I used to shovel down my neck because it was "easier". Yes, it takes longer to prepare, but it's worth it! You are worth it!!

rosemarble · 11/06/2025 11:52

unless the OP returns to explain why they won’t take the jabs people will continue to mention them. Is it cost, pre-existing medical condition, fear of needles, philosophical objections, what?

Or people could respect what OP says and believe she has made an informed decision, or that she will ASK if she wants a particular concern answered.

It's rude of people to keep pushing their opinions on someone who has not asked for them.

SaddlebagSal · 11/06/2025 11:58

It's rude of people to keep pushing their opinions on someone who has not asked for them.

Are you new to AIBU?

Bluedabadeeba · 11/06/2025 11:59

wheresmymojo · 10/06/2025 22:31

I finally cracked the same thing after having counselling primarily based on Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT).

For me it was about learning to identify and then process my emotions in a healthier way - the counsellor literally had to teach me like I was a small child as I had no idea what people actually meant by ‘processing emotions’ in a practical sense.

This sounds interesting. Do you mind expanding on this? Would you be happy to share a few tools that work for you?

OP, I'm the same. Have read all the books on the 'new'line of thinking and all the habit books, but here I am STILL 10kg heavier than healthy. So sick of it - I'm furious at myself.

No idea how to help you. Sorry about that, just know your not alone ♡

KT1113 · 11/06/2025 12:03

PetiteBlondeDuBoulevardBrune · 11/06/2025 11:42

Dear fucking god. Can people just knock it off with the constant pushing of WLI?! If you're on it and it works for you, then fantastic. But OP has been VERY clear that she doesn't want to use them.
It would be nice if we could have at least one weight loss thread without it being swamped by people insisting that the solution is the bloody injections. There are other ways to lose weight

Yes! Exactly this! No everyone wants to have injections and side effects for the rest of their lives.

Well I was like the OP, spent the previous 20 years off my life being on and off diets and had totally written off WLI as both risky and too expensive.
Having now taken them, I have had a total rewiring of my brain, something that just wasn't possible prior to taking them, which has enabled me to live a healthy lifestyle and as a result lose a considerable amount of weight. I haven't had any negative side effects at all. I would have told anyone saying the same to me that I wasn't interested, but I can't overstate how radically they have overhauled my life.

OP has said she's tried everything and can't stick to a diet, so there's not much else people can suggest that would help really apart from WLI. There's nothing else that will suddenly give her the willpower to stick at something.

Bluedabadeeba · 11/06/2025 12:03

socks1107 · 10/06/2025 22:37

I was like this a year ago. January this year the switch in my brain just said no more and I’ve lost enough weight now to make a difference in looks, health and how I feel.
sometimes we need that trigger and switch and it took me a while to get there too

Fabulous. Hope this is me this time next year. Ok. So literally HOW?! Any tips?

Tirnanogg · 11/06/2025 12:06

I've not read the whole thread, so apologies if I'm just repeating others, but have you tried intermittent fasting? I've been doing the 16 hour fast/8 hours eating for the last couple of months and lost about a stone - weight I've not been able to shift in 10 years of trying other diets.

I've found it much easier to be all or nothing in my approach - rather than binging on chocolate now because it's there, I'll think 'oh, it's only 10:30, I'll have to wait an hour before I can eat that' - by which time the urge has usually passed, or I'm feeling more like having lunch instead. I'm still eating all the foods I love, but in a narrower window which automatically reduces how much I can eat!

Please don't beat yourself up about weight - it is the least important thing about you, and it doesn't say anything about who you are.

Anotherparkingthread · 11/06/2025 12:27

I haven't read the whole thread so this may have been said before.

One of the issues with traditional diets is that you immediately commit to it like a new hobby and go out and buy things to go with it. Like salads, fruits, low calorie versions of foods, high protein versions of foods etc. and you start planning and thinking about meals much more. This causes food noise to go up.

If you stress eat and have issues around food this is unhelpful because it's triggering further OCD thoughts and bringing food to the forefront of your mind. Of course you're more likely to find it hard to stick to a diet if you have been thinking about eating all day.

Fasting is great. I love it but I get that it isn't for everyone. It sort of forces you to compartmentalized eating and so the food noise to certain times of the day.

Yoga is absolutely brilliant and you don't need to buy fancy gym equipment just a yoga mat is enough. You can start really small. While the exercise will help tone etc it isn't really about losing weight. It's about reconnecting with your body and yourself. It's learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings like deep stretches and hard poses. This translates to real world situations off the mat, I become much more mentally strong and composed when I'm practicing regularly. It takes a while to get there with this, the results aren't overnight but they work. It can help you feel in control in all parts of your life not just around eating. It can teach you how to relax and let go of things. It's a powerful tool.

You can count calories over a week. So if you fall off the wagon on a random weeknight and order a take away and eat half a box of chocolates you don't need throw in the towel entirely and 'give up' because you can still be under over the week if you're careful. Learning this for me meant that I didn't freak out and feel miserable, guilty and ashamed of I overdid it one evening. Because I hadn't failed. I was still losing weight I just ate a bit more that day.

Walking is massively underrated. Go for a walk every single day. It doesn't need to be a marathon or a hike up a mountain to count. Little bits add up.

I like big portions, I always have. I now have a broth like a miso soup, a basic vegetable soup etc with most of my evening meals and a smaller portion of the higher calorie foods I'd usually eat. This means it looks like loads and I stay fuller for longer. Without having to entirely cut out foods I love. Spiraliser are great as well, things like zucchini noodles even once or twice a week can cut back on lots of carbs and they are delicious.

High fibre foods are under rated. Everybody faves about protein but fibre will make you feel full for longer and lead to better digestion. Better gut health can help with weight loss and maintaining that weight loss.

You can do it :)

AhBiscuits · 11/06/2025 12:36

It's only natural for people to ask why no WLI, it's a discussion forum. I'm sure OP does have her own perfectly good reason not to take them, which may just be that she doesn't want to. Many people have been where the OP is and found WLI life changing, so are just curious why she is closed off to them.

If she had posted
I'm always so cold when I go outside, please help me. I won't wear a coat.
People would want to know why. OK so it's an imperfect analogy, but people are just trying to help.

socks1107 · 11/06/2025 12:38

@Bluedabadeeba I have calorie counted, and stopped al fizzy drinks, swapped crisps for nuts and wine for gin. Eat more fruit and drink water it’s been quite easy. I also joined the weight loss boards and have had some great support.
I’m down two stone and feel great. I have about a stone and a half to go, nice and slow it can take till Xmas.
i don’t know what switched, my daughters 21st birthday photos, feeling like all clothes looked dreadful on me, the push of wli and although I didn’t want to use them I also didn’t want to be the last fat one!

rosemarble · 11/06/2025 13:05

SaddlebagSal · 11/06/2025 11:58

It's rude of people to keep pushing their opinions on someone who has not asked for them.

Are you new to AIBU?

No. I am not naive to how AIBU threads run. That doesn't mean I shouldn't speak up (repeatedly) if people are being rude.

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 11/06/2025 13:19

I’ve found the type of food is the clincher, I can’t count calories because I had an eating disorder before, and with intermittent fasting I’d still get blood sugar crashes which made me crave sweet food; I’ve stopped eating UPF and refined sugar and make sure I eat 3 healthy home made meals a day with no snacks, lots of vegetables, fibre, good carbs and good fats. I find eating this way I don’t really get that hungry now, hunger feels like a dull stomach ache rather than cravings as my blood sugar must be pretty stable. I meal prep breakfast and lunch so I don’t need to think about food, can just grab and go, and eat at set times. That combined with upping my steps and just drinking water, tea and coffee has really changed how I feel about food and this is helping me to lose weight. I don’t crave sweet things at all anymore.

Naepalz · 11/06/2025 14:42

Tirnanogg · 11/06/2025 12:06

I've not read the whole thread, so apologies if I'm just repeating others, but have you tried intermittent fasting? I've been doing the 16 hour fast/8 hours eating for the last couple of months and lost about a stone - weight I've not been able to shift in 10 years of trying other diets.

I've found it much easier to be all or nothing in my approach - rather than binging on chocolate now because it's there, I'll think 'oh, it's only 10:30, I'll have to wait an hour before I can eat that' - by which time the urge has usually passed, or I'm feeling more like having lunch instead. I'm still eating all the foods I love, but in a narrower window which automatically reduces how much I can eat!

Please don't beat yourself up about weight - it is the least important thing about you, and it doesn't say anything about who you are.

I've also been trying this and lost 10lbs in a month. I was a terrible evening snacker but have found the no food between 7.30pm and 11.30am much easier to stick to than I expected . As a bonus at a routine health check last week my cholesterol is lower as is my blood sugar which was heading towards pre diabetes last time I was checked.

ChineseAlan8910 · 11/06/2025 15:02

Horserider5678 · 11/06/2025 06:07

But you were overweight, a BMI of 29 puts you in the overweight category!

I mean, you need to be a BMI of 30 to qualify for Monjaro so I had to put some weights down my leggings on the picture and really stuck my stomach out to qualify for the drug. I would not have got it otherwise.

rosemarble · 11/06/2025 15:16

ChineseAlan8910 · 11/06/2025 15:02

I mean, you need to be a BMI of 30 to qualify for Monjaro so I had to put some weights down my leggings on the picture and really stuck my stomach out to qualify for the drug. I would not have got it otherwise.

Well done. 🙄

ChineseAlan8910 · 11/06/2025 15:31

It was worth it for the weight loss. The OP can't complain she is still fat when she won't take the easy option which is available to her? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Eat less, move more, jab your arm? Any of these will work.

GoThunder · 11/06/2025 15:37

Mounjaro is your friend!

Allseeingallknowing · 11/06/2025 15:38

Ijustwanttobehealthy · 10/06/2025 23:06

The weight loss jabs that people are talking about on this thread clearly. Some of the serious side effects of Mounjaro include:

  • hypoglycemia
  • allergic reactions
  • tachycardia
  • vision changes
  • pancreatitis
  • gallstones
  • kidney damage

Animal studies have shown the potential for Mounjaro to cause thyroid cancer.

All pharmaceutical medications carry risks, so not sure why you chose to be so obtuse about it.

Plus hair loss

MintChocCat · 11/06/2025 15:45

Need to amend diet, OP. Have you considered working with a nutritional therapist/dietician and/or CBT therapist for help with meal planning and emotional eating?

spoonbillstretford · 11/06/2025 16:14

Allseeingallknowing · 11/06/2025 15:38

Plus hair loss

Hair loss occurs if you lose weight too quickly. My hair fell out when I did Fast 800. It hasn't on Mounjaro. I've had hardly any side effects. There are some pretty serious effects from being overweight.

SaddlebagSal · 11/06/2025 16:22

It would be helpful for the OP to come back to the thread they started. Or get it moved to the Weight Loss sub forum where I’m sure there will be loads of people willing to provide more tailored advice specific to the OPs circumstances, like age, weight, level of physical ability and activity in general.

If OP doesn’t come back and it stays in AIBU it will just continue in a bun fight, which I’m sure wasn’t OPs intention.

SwingTheMonkey · 11/06/2025 17:01

HoneyPie12 · 11/06/2025 08:30

I had weight loss surgery. I felt the same way as you. Losing the same 10lb over and over when really I needed to lose 8 stone. Its been the most difficult and most rewarding thing I've ever done. I'm 7.5 stone down now in 9 months and it's changed my life. I also didn't want to do WL injections,but my reason was because I believe that if you come off them, you will put the weight back on. I am not recommending it as an easy fix at all, but I have been overweight my whole adult life and now I'm not, it's genuinely like I'm a different person.

Any weight loss regime can lead to weight gain in the future. There are so many people using mounjaro who have previously had weight loss surgery.

Suflan · 11/06/2025 17:08

What does mounjaro actually do to your body? It stops your appetite but how does it do that?

MintChocCat · 11/06/2025 17:09

Suflan · 11/06/2025 17:08

What does mounjaro actually do to your body? It stops your appetite but how does it do that?

I think it blocks a receptor in your brain? But not sure

TheOmbudsmansComingtoGetYou · 11/06/2025 17:15

I thought people were flat broke these days with cost of living, heating bills etc. Where are you all finding the money for weight loss jags? They’re really expensive!