I’m really upset I’m still fat

[Refvs]

It’s been years since I’ve been trying to lose weight. I have done lots of diets but I can’t stick to anything. I will not take the weight loss jabs (no judgement to those that do btw) im just lost. I have all the exercise equipment at home but im so fat still. Yes I don’t exercise much so yes I know my fault.

my biggest thing is my emotions. If I have a bad day or great day I will eat loads. Been off work today due to ds being really unwell and from morning till evening I have just stress eaten.

please help me

@Kweeen please share this good skin care routine!

It sounds to me that weight loss drugs might be something to consider op if you find your eating is driven by stress/emotion. They still drive weight loss by creating a calorie deficit, but allow you to bypass the cravings.

If you are very against it, you absolutely can still lose weight of course. You need to track what you are eating and drinking. In a guarantee it will be more than you think. Work out what your BMR is and reduce by 500 calories. Prioritise protein, 1g per pound desired body weight. Don’t cut food groups. Get into the gym and start lifting weights and walk. 12k plus steps per day as a goal, but at first just increase by 2k from whatever you are doing now.

if you fall off the wagon don’t beat yourself up. Just get back to it. It takes time but once you start to see results it will give you motivation and become easier.

Have a look at this inspirational woman who experienced many of the same setbacks as you, @Refvs

Hi ex personal trainer so I know what I should be doing yet since kids and a stressful life I’ve really struggled for years with weight (have all of my life but can usually pull it back for a bit when needed)
started working with an online pt/coach last year and wow it’s been so good to have someone too hold me accountable diet has improved (she sees everything) she set my calories and protein I track in nutra check I’ve lost 2 stone and found my love of exercise again
if you can justify it maybe look for someone to work with - I used to think it wouldn’t work but it’s really changed my mindset
strength training - doesn’t have to be long workouts or in a gym some dumbbells & resistance bands work wonders
work out your average steps and add a couple of thousand to aim for every day
track your calories - my calorie deficit is higher than I thought it would be and I still eat nice things / have a bottle of wine at the weekend
prioritise protein - will keep you fuller for longer
mel Robbins / Stacey sims have done a great podcast about women’s diet & exercise
it’s not easy but keep going I have weeks I don’t loose weight but I’m now 2 dress sizes down and feeling 100x better

Its not exercise
its the food
cut as much UPF as possible
be honest (and kind) to yourself
download and use NOOM app to really understand links between your brain and food - it was recommended on here and I’ve dropped 3 stone in a year with it. It works!
good luck.

I did Zoe which made me understand food better and has a section on emotional eating, I would recommend this or even better working with a proper holistic nutritionist, who would incorporate coaching, mindfulness and maybe a bit of therapy / self awareness.

It is not as simple as less calories in = weight loss, there is so much more to it, I actually lost weight eating a lot more fat and not calorie counting at all. The Zoe podcasts are really helpful for understanding food and health.

The key is to reframe food as nourishing your body, not as an emotional crutch. Notice when you are reaching for food as a comfort (I achieved this by a combination of knowledge and mindfulness but different things work for different people) and 'respond' not react in that moment. Also build up strategies for avoiding your comfort foods, for me it was making sure we have homecooked 'ready' meals available for the days we want to collapse on the sofa and eat takeaways and on the days I craved scotch egg (my stressed at work comfort), to go for a walk instead.

Food is amazing, your body is amazing, starving yourself is not how you are going to be happy and healthy.

I am heavy and have recently lost some weight.

It helps me if I plan what I will eat for that day and stick to it, the plan does include some crisps as I love them.

I plot everything on app called fat secret, it helps to see the calories of everything,

What's today's plan?

Just 4 days ago The EU regulator, the European Medicines Agency (EMA), has officially confirmed a link between GLP-1 receptor agonists like Ozempic and Mounjaro and a rare eye condition called NAION (non-arteritic anterior ischemic optic neuropathy) that can lead to vision loss. There could be others that surface as times goes on. What is an acceptable level of risk you are willing to take is different from person to person.

I lost four stone when I discovered I was diabetic but still need to lose a couple more. This was nearly ten years ago before I had even heard of Ultra Processed Foods but I knew certain foods were making me feel sick. It was not just about carbs, definitely how foods were produced as the effect of supermarket bread felt very different to home made. I have cut all UPF out of my diet but continue to eat brown riced, sour dough bread and boiled potatoes. My diabetes is in remission, blood sugar has been in the normal zone for seven years straight.

As my weight level plateau-ed for a couple of years, I started to try fasting, which is something I never have thought possible a few years back but certainly becomes easier with practice. I also believe that it is easier after cutting out UPF as these foods that can trigger cravings. I have now done a few 72 hour fasts and feel the benefits, my weight is beginning to shift again.

I am not currently considering jabs simply because I am waiting to see how the evidence stacks up about side effects and the rebound effect when people stop taking them. I do not take any medication for diabetes. When first diagnosed, I was advised to postpone it for as long as possible as virtually all medication for diabetics has diminishing effects and the advice has proven sound. I have a way to go to reach my goals but no longer feel sick from diabetes nor suffer side effects from medication.

I appreciate others feel differently about jabs but as the OP has specifically said they are not interested then why not just respect that opinion?

I'm overweight, and I look it, but BMI not high enough for the jabs. I have a fun lifestyle which involves regular socialising - meals out, drinks, and a daughter who loves to bake 😆
I control my calories when I can (weekdays I'm strictly on 1400) and I go running 4-5 times a week but the weight just doesn't shift. Because anything I manage during the week is undone at the weekend.
It's really, really hard for me to lose weight and I would have to be on a tiny amount of calories, like (1000-1200) every day, no exceptions, forever. That's not a fun life, so I guess imma just stay fat

Therapy does make you feel worse, a lot worse, because that’s all those bottled feelings, reaching the surface. You don’t feel better until you’ve felt a lot worse.

Last year my BMI was almost 35. I was over 15st and miserable. I'd decided I had had enough and I do think you need to reach that point in your own head.

I happened to listen to Gin Stephens on the Zoe podcast talking about intermittent fasting and the benefits of giving our bodies a break from eating and drinking calories. Particularly in terms of blood sugar regulation. I started doing 16-8 fasting so only eating in an 8 hour window (usually between 12pm and 8pm) and then having water or black coffee only outside of those hours. I changed nothing about what I ate, just when I ate and lost a stone quite quickly. It really helped me to ease into things. You're automatically cutting out breakfast and evening snacking so the weight loss came without feeling like I was really depriving myself.

Then my loss stalled which isn't surprising because I wasn't focusing on what I was eating. Although I have continued to stick to the fasting (normally doing 18-6 most days) and I'll continue to forever now because of how well it makes me feel. Regardless of weight loss.

Full disclosure here, I'm currently taking Mounjaro and decided to after my loss had stalled for six months (although crucially the fasting meant I didn't put any further weight on.) I've lost 30lbs since March and am now BMI 27.

If the jabs aren't for you, that's absolutely fine. They're not for everyone. What they have helped me to do is to address what I am eating. I now have a few healthy meals around the 400-500 calorie mark that I eat for my lunch and are nutritious, and then I eat a normal meal with my family at dinnertime. I don't snack and if I absolutely feel like I must it is a piece of fruit or some unsalted nuts. But it's easier to say to myself I'm not a snacker.

In the evenings if I do feel hungry and want to distract myself I've started having a decaf black coffee and a pint of water and giving myself a pedicure. I keep a foot file, nail clippers, foot cream, nail polish and a foot massager in a little basket by my armchair. If your hands are busy and you're focused on something else that can help quiet the food noise.

I also got into walking and listening to a podcast. I don't live somewhere scenic so my walks are just pounding the pavements through housing estates etc but it doesn't matter. I put on a one hour podcast episode that is something interesting or funny and have found a route that takes me an hour to walk from my front door so by the time it's finished I've reached home. I do that most days and the exercise feels incidental as I've been distracted and have spent an hour of "me time" listening to something I enjoy.

Now I've lost more weight I'm picking up the exercise because it feels easier as I'm carting less weight around and have added a weekly yoga class. I'm also going to think about weight training.

@Refvs
OP
With a BMI of 35, here's how I spent the past 12 years:

1 - Joined weight watchers. Followed it to the absolute letter. Weighed and measured and calculated points before every bit of food or drink was consumed. Stopped eating for the rest of the day as soon as I hit my daily points allowance. Attended weekly group sessions and weigh-ins. Lost nothing first few months. Group leader kept telling me it can take time for people's bodies to get used a new eating plan and encouraged me to persevere. I persevered for 1 year. I sat in a room of people every week who all talked about how they were following the plan 90% of the time and were still losing weight. I followed it 100% of the time and lost nothing. Not 1 pound in a whole year. I left the group after 12 months of dedication and no results.

2 - Joined Slimming World. Told I could eat anything providing it was on the plan. After 1 year of daily calorie restriction due to sticking to my daily points on WW, it felt really weird being told I didn't have to weigh or measure food, just stick to only eating what's on the plan. Group leader told me some people never lose weight on point counting/calorie restriction because it slows their metabolism down and their body clings on to fat because of reduced calories. She convinced me I would lose weight by eating more on the SW plan. Said my metabolism would respond better to increased calories providing the food I ate was on plan. I followed it to the letter. I wrote every single thing I ate and drank down in my SW food diary. The group leader studied my diary every week and told me I was following the plan perfectly. I lost nothing. Not 1 pound. I kept going, persuaded by the leader that eventually I would switch to weight loss mode. Said my body was resistant to losing weight but it would eventually happen if I just kept going. I stuck at it for 1 year. I lost no weight, not an ounce.

3 - Started low carb. Followed a plan from a book I bought. Followed it to the letter. Did it for 6 months. Lost nothing.

4 - Started using the NutraCheck app and calorie counted. Followed my set calories of 1,400 a day for 6 months. Lost nothing.

5 - Persevered with NutraCheck but reduced my daily calories to 1,200 a day. Followed it for 6 months. Lost nothing.

6 - Joined Noom. Followed it for a year. Lost nothing.

7 - Did Jane plan. Followed it for 6 months. Lost nothing.

8 - Went back to WW who had revised their plan by this time. Leader convinced me it would work for me this time. Followed it for 6 months. Lost nothing.

9 - Went back to SW who had also revised their plan. Followed it for 8 months. Lost nothing.

10 - Adopted a wholefoods approach and tried to forget dieting and focussed on eating only healthy, highly nutritious foods. Felt well. But lost nothing in 2 years of cutting out all sugar and all processed foods and all alcohol.

During all of these years I swam regularly, 30 mins 4 x a week. I walked 5 miles most days of the week. I joined exercise classes. I cut out alcohol. I drank 2 - 3 litres of water daily.
My self esteem was on the floor caused by failure to lose weight despite regimentedly following different diets. My self confidence was shot to pieces because it made me feel a failure.

I had numerous blood tests with GP - thyroid, inflammation markers, diabetes, hormones, various other tests, all came back normal. All tests repeated over the years. All came back normal. GPs simply didn't believe I was being honest about sticking to WW and SW.
I posted on here under different user names to say I felt desperate. Felt like there must be something wrong with my body that makes it weight loss resistant. Felt trapped in a fat body. Exhausted. Sad. Felt like a failure. The damage all those failed diets did to my mental health was severe. I followed them all 100% because I gave them everything I've got to desperately try and get to a healthy BMI. I cried sometimes, unable to understand what was going on with my body.

Then I got to:
11 - Started Mounjaro 13 months ago. Lost 3 stone 5 pounds from May last year to now. No side effects. Still losing. BMI reducing.

Seriously.........consider it.

Having been steadily gaining weight all my adult life, inspite of always having ‘weight loss’ at the top of my to do list

I finally [sic] cracked it by choosing what to eat according to how I would feel immediately afterwards and in the next day 24hrs. Nothing prohibited, nothing to rebel against but simply how I would feel

My change came from https://www.eatinglessonline.com/

Gillian Riley’s approach is very different to anything else I’ve ever come across, based on her initial work to help people stop smoking. I’d encourage everyone to have a look at her approach. It isn’t easy but once you have cracked the mind set it really is very very simple. I couldn’t be more grateful.

You can't out-exercise a bad diet, but what it does do is give you lean, metabolically efficient body mass that helps you maintain weight. It allows you a bit more flexibility in your choices. It tends to be simpler to create consistent habits in excercise than food, and that creates a positive framework for adressing food habits. It helps you to love your body for what it can do rather than be constantly criticised.

People that suceed at losing weight and keep it off create healthier lifestyles, physically and mentally. It's got to be changes that you can live with for weeks, months years and feel happy with them.

Eat for nutrition. Prioritise the protein and fibre. Fat from healthy sources (e.g. eggs, olive oil) help to keep you sated. Reduce the carbs down. Don't ban treats, but reduce them and make them more occasional.

If there is a constant sabotage from emotional issues, that needs addressing.
There's a limit to how many battles the human mind can deal with in one go.

I lost 7 stone ‘naturally’ in 2020, it was booody hard work. I was obsessed with what I was eating and developed an eating disorder through it. I put all the weight (and more) back on over the following years. Tried countless times to start again knowing I had done it before but just couldn’t stick at it.

I started Mounjaro after 6 months of debate and my only regret is not starting sooner. You still have to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight but it’s totally taken away the emotional side of eating for me. I crave healthy food and water and can just go about my day like a ‘normal’ person, not obsessing over food every minute. It really is worth considering if you haven’t got a medical reason not to x

I have lost 11lb in a month using chatgpt to address my lifelong binge eating disorder. I've got a thread in AMA if you are interested in how I've done it. I've never ever been able to lose weight this easily before but I've stopped 99% of binges.

The key is that i needed something to interrupt the binge in that split second opportunity that i have to stop it and to offer me non judgemental support and alternatives that id already told it to tell me. I am adhd/asd so it's not as simple as "just use willpower".

@Ijustwanttobehealthy
Did you not read your own cut and paste? You know, the thyroid cancer bit?

Well do don't use weight loss jabs either but you have listed their potential side effects?

I was also going to suggest this. It is not magic - you do need to make changes to see a difference. But the main thing it does is teaches you to be kinder to yourself. It resets your thinking after years of failed diets.

I am losing weight, super slowly, but consistently. But the main difference is in how I feel about myself.

What happens when they stop adgering to any diet?
Relapse is not unique to injections.
At least with injections you actually manage to lose the weight in the first place.

It's then easier to maintain because struggling for months to gain and lose the same 4 lb is depressing and demotivating.
However , Seeing a 5stone loss on the scales and wanting to maintain that is very motivating indeed .

OP, you’re blaming yourself for something that literally isn’t your fault

Mounjaro is not a weight loss drug. Weight loss is a side effect of regulating your hormones.

you are eating BECAUSE of your hormones. Not because you are lazy, not because you are emotional. Not because you can’t stick to a diet. Of course you can stick to a diet one week a month when your hormones are balanced.

you are emotional because of your hormones, ergo you eat.

regulate your hormones and all this shit goes away.

exercise is a really important part of a healthy lifestyle and sustainable weight loss!

Wow, people are defensive about the jags aren’t they?

a decision to not want to use them is not automatically a criticism of you for choosing to do so.

I’m on Mounjaro myself but not everyone can afford to spend that money every month so it’s not just fear of side effects that puts people off.

I had weight loss surgery. I felt the same way as you. Losing the same 10lb over and over when really I needed to lose 8 stone. Its been the most difficult and most rewarding thing I've ever done. I'm 7.5 stone down now in 9 months and it's changed my life. I also didn't want to do WL injections,but my reason was because I believe that if you come off them, you will put the weight back on. I am not recommending it as an easy fix at all, but I have been overweight my whole adult life and now I'm not, it's genuinely like I'm a different person.